Here’s the thing.  I’m unemployed and it’s entirely my fault.  I have to be the one who takes responsibility for this mess that I’m in because I’ve been reminded time and time again that I’ve created it.  Fine, my unemployment is my doing, but that d… Read full post »

Oh the joys of having teenaged girls.  Whoever thought up the concept of having multiple bathrooms in a house should be canonized.  My girls, I love them, I do, spend all of their spare time in those bathrooms primping and preening and popping.  Yes, popping.  They will stand in f… Read full post »

So I was perusing Facebook on my phone tonight as I do most nights before I go to sleep.  It’s how I spy on the world that isn’t in my backyard.  I see who’s doing what, watching what, eating what, drinking what.  I’m a virtual peeking Tom.  It’s like… Read full post »

Last year I got a call from my daughter’s school secretary.  The woman’s voice was sweet and soft and full of concern.  “You need to bring your daughter some fresh pants and panties,” the woman told me.  Oh.  My.  God.  She started.  Poor bab… Read full post »

Once upon a time (this is a true story but I wanted to start out with “once upon a time” for more panache) somewhere between the time frame of my first and last marriage (there have only been two so don’t lump me in the multiple marriage category as Elizabeth Taylor,… Read full post »

I have known my husband for ten years now and in those ten years he has only liked my hair once for maybe a day and a half.  He, I think, is stuck somewhere in the eighties where women had monstrously large mall hair with hairspray so thick that turpentine was… Read full post »

BINGO was already in progress.  Two women were playing two cards as if in anticipation of McMurphy’s and my arrival to the day room.  A chair was open across the table from a tiny little woman who appeared to be in her mid-forties.  “Sit here,” she said tapping the ta… Read full post »

I just got back from a five-day vacation that I won.  It wasn’t all expenses paid but there were mixed cocktails and a chauffeured ride.  The cocktails were served in little plastic cups that were the perfect size for shots and always came with a water chaser, sometimes even with ice.… Read full post »

The other day I went to throw something in the trash when I noticed pieces of blonde hair on the top of everything.  The scissors was nearby and had the same blonde wisps tangled in the blades.  I was confused and concerned since none of my children have blonde hair.  I… Read full post »

The power went out the other night.  No one was expecting it since there wasn’t a storm and the bill had been paid.  I was sitting in bed reading and suddenly everything was a peaceful black.  I thought I had blinked for too long, and then I hoped that it was… Read full post »

Facebook, Facebook, Facebook.  That’s all my sister ever talked about.  When ever I talked to her on the phone, she was always telling me what someone said about her status, or what someone’s status was or blah, blah, blah.  My stepdaughter had a My Space account and the wh… Read full post »

My mom is an ardent democrat for the simple fact that she’s a teacher.  That’s basically her only reason so other than that she’s not a political person.  My dad is a rightwing, fist-pumping republican who is happy to put a sign in the yard.  Growing up in election ye… Read full post »

If I had to compare my sister and myself to characters in a movie, I would have to go with Uma Thurman (my sister) and Janeane Garofalo (myself) in The Truth About Cats and Dogs.  Where my sister is tall and willowy, I am not.  Where my sister is charming and… Read full post »

Over the years my dad has had a variety of different hobbies.  He’s been a HAM radio operator since he was a teenager and still dabbles in reaching out to whomever he can find that still operates.  When I was born he was teaching himself about photography and would snap picture… Read full post »

My boss’s boss thinks he’s all that.  When he asks me a question that he really needs to know the answer to, rather than patiently waiting for me to finish my answer, he hurries me along with “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” fired off in rapid succession from his twitching mouth. … Read full post »

When I was a kid I wanted to move so badly.  I wanted to be the new kid in a school so people would be interested in getting to know me.  Instead, I felt like the light fixture in the hallway that no one seems to really notice but just takes… Read full post »

Christmas of 1982 was magical.  There’s no other word for it.  Magical.  I was seven years old and still believed in Santa.  Santa was my hero and I had no doubt that he existed.  Christmas of 1982 solidified in my sweet little heart that he was the for real deal. … Read full post »

My dad called me the other day, which is something that doesn’t happen that often.  My dad and I love each other but there is a distance in our relationship that is there out of respect for each other.  Typically calls are made on birthdays, holidays and maybe three other times… Read full post »

I cannot believe the crap that’s on TV these days.  For years and years I avoided TV like the plague and I was okay with that.  Not watching TV made for longer days where I got so much more accomplished and got a lot more books read.  When I moved in… Read full post »

February 11, 2008.  That’s a day that will forever be ingrained into my memory.  I remember that specific date better than I do my own wedding anniversary, which is either May 20^th or the 21^st.  February 11^th is the day my Kindle arrived in the mail.  It was ordered for me… Read full post »

Growing up I was taught to be prim and proper.  Cross your ankles, not your legs; sit up straight; don’t say “fart” say “let one”.   For years I thought that “let one” was a noun and was that gaseous substance that was expelled after a large bo… Read full post »

Working with all men has its ups and downs.  When I was younger and single being the only woman around was kind of fun.  I played the fun and girly card even though that was totally outside my real personality.  If I needed help with something all I had to do… Read full post »

I have to just come right out and say it.  I don’t understand football.  I’ve been trying to get a grasp on the game for the past several years but for some reason the rules never stick in my head.  Okay, I’ve always known that getting a touchdown is either a… Read full post »

“Tell me the story again,” I say.  I used to say this to my grandmother to get her to tell me stories of what it was like to grow up during the Great Depression.  Now I say it to my daughter.

 She always rolls her eyes in what I… Read full post »

I told my husband I wanted to evacuate.  After being together for several hurricanes, including Katrina, these were words that he never heard me utter before.  I don’t know what made me say them.  I wasn’t afraid of the storm.  I actually used to childishly look forwar… Read full post »