APRIL 29, 2012 4:40PM

I. Am. Job.

I have a job.  J-O-B, job.  It’s been so long since I’ve been able to say that.  One year, two months and eighteen days, to be exact.  I have always had a job.  Always.  I was more excited to get a worker’s permit on my sixteenth birthday than I was to… Read full post »

APRIL 16, 2011 11:14AM

When I was Human Bubble Wrap

Oh the joys of having teenaged girls.  Whoever thought up the concept of having multiple bathrooms in a house should be canonized.  My girls, I love them, I do, spend all of their spare time in those bathrooms primping and preening and popping.  Yes, popping.  They will stand in f… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 24, 2011 3:21PM

Teaching the kid how to Kegel

Last year I got a call from my daughter’s school secretary.  The woman’s voice was sweet and soft and full of concern.  “You need to bring your daughter some fresh pants and panties,” the woman told me.  Oh.  My.  God.  She started.  Poor bab… Read full post »

MARCH 9, 2011 11:15PM

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

I have known my husband for ten years now and in those ten years he has only liked my hair once for maybe a day and a half.  He, I think, is stuck somewhere in the eighties where women had monstrously large mall hair with hairspray so thick that turpentine was… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 23, 2011 1:48PM

A story PETA would love

The other day I went to throw something in the trash when I noticed pieces of blonde hair on the top of everything.  The scissors was nearby and had the same blonde wisps tangled in the blades.  I was confused and concerned since none of my children have blonde hair.  I… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 19, 2011 10:56PM

How many marriages has Facebook destroyed?

Facebook, Facebook, Facebook.  That’s all my sister ever talked about.  When ever I talked to her on the phone, she was always telling me what someone said about her status, or what someone’s status was or blah, blah, blah.  My stepdaughter had a My Space account and the wh… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 18, 2011 2:45PM

Cats and Dogs Poop the Same

If I had to compare my sister and myself to characters in a movie, I would have to go with Uma Thurman (my sister) and Janeane Garofalo (myself) in The Truth About Cats and Dogs.  Where my sister is tall and willowy, I am not.  Where my sister is charming andRead full post »

FEBRUARY 17, 2011 11:24AM

Claiming a little piece of Camelot

Over the years my dad has had a variety of different hobbies.  He’s been a HAM radio operator since he was a teenager and still dabbles in reaching out to whomever he can find that still operates.  When I was born he was teaching himself about photography and would snap picture… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 14, 2011 3:08PM

Moving childhood dreams to adulthood

When I was a kid I wanted to move so badly.  I wanted to be the new kid in a school so people would be interested in getting to know me.  Instead, I felt like the light fixture in the hallway that no one seems to really notice but just takes… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 20, 2010 4:08PM

No Santa? No Fighting? What's the Point?

Christmas of 1982 was magical.  There’s no other word for it.  Magical.  I was seven years old and still believed in Santa.  Santa was my hero and I had no doubt that he existed.  Christmas of 1982 solidified in my sweet little heart that he was the for real deal. Read full post »

DECEMBER 11, 2010 1:32PM

There's a show for that!

I cannot believe the crap that’s on TV these days.  For years and years I avoided TV like the plague and I was okay with that.  Not watching TV made for longer days where I got so much more accomplished and got a lot more books read.  When I moved in… Read full post »

February 11, 2008.  That’s a day that will forever be ingrained into my memory.  I remember that specific date better than I do my own wedding anniversary, which is either May 20th or the 21st.  February 11th is the day my Kindle arrived in the mail.  It was ordered for me… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
OCTOBER 21, 2010 9:05AM

Little Miss Perfect: Do Not Try This At Home

Growing up I was taught to be prim and proper.  Cross your ankles, not your legs; sit up straight; don’t say “fart” say “let one”.   For years I thought that “let one” was a noun and was that gaseous substance that was expelled after a large bo… Read full post »

OCTOBER 16, 2010 2:14AM

Defending PMS

Working with all men has its ups and downs.  When I was younger and single being the only woman around was kind of fun.  I played the fun and girly card even though that was totally outside my real personality.  If I needed help with something all I had to do… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
OCTOBER 12, 2010 2:01PM

Taking the "fan" out of fantasy football

I have to just come right out and say it.  I don’t understand football.  I’ve been trying to get a grasp on the game for the past several years but for some reason the rules never stick in my head.  Okay, I’ve always known that getting a touchdown is either a… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 10, 2010 12:04AM

Made: The Best Memory Ever

“Tell me the story again,” I say.  I used to say this to my grandmother to get her to tell me stories of what it was like to grow up during the Great Depression.  Now I say it to my daughter.

 She always rolls her eyes in what I… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
AUGUST 31, 2010 10:24PM

Remembering Hurricane Gustav Two Years Later

I told my husband I wanted to evacuate.  After being together for several hurricanes, including Katrina, these were words that he never heard me utter before.  I don’t know what made me say them.  I wasn’t afraid of the storm.  I actually used to childishly look forwar… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
APRIL 28, 2010 9:50AM

Battling my daughter's bully

Kids are so mean.  If they find one thing that makes a peer different they’ll ride that one thing until tears or therapy ensues.  My daughter has been getting picked on all school year but I didn’t find out about it until last week when she finally broke down into tears… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
APRIL 23, 2010 11:46AM

Walking away from TV

Cable TV is killing me.  My family has gone without it since the late nineties and we were just fine.  Last year at about this time my husband insisted that we get it.  He just wanted more access to football or something like that.  Since he rarely asks for anything, I… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
APRIL 15, 2010 11:04AM

Someone Please Tell Me April Fool's!

It might be tax day for you but not for me.  Today is the day I figure out what to cancel.  The cable?  The Internet?  Should I stop drinking coffee?  It’s not like I go to Starbucks ever.  Where do I cut when I see nothing more to cut from my… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 25, 2010 7:14AM

We Were Snot-slinging Brats!

I loved watching my mom get ready for a night out with my dad.  If she was in a good mood she’d dab a bit of lipstick on my lips and have me press my lips on a piece of folded toilet paper making me feel like a real lady.  If… Read full post »

MARCH 20, 2010 8:17PM

Teenagers and Tiaras

You know how you try to give your children everything that they ask for within reason because you want them to be well-rounded individuals and don’t want to be blamed for their need of therapy later in life?  That’s the kind of parenting that I’ve been practicing.  I don&r… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 16, 2010 12:02PM

Grandfather's Irish Eyes

When my grandpa was a little boy he said that he wanted to be a leprechaun.  He would dress up in his most leprechany garb and jig around the house to make his mother laugh as he tried to trade her his pot of gold for a slice of rhubarb pie. Read full post »

MARCH 16, 2010 9:41AM

Green Beans in the Key of E

I’m not a picky eater, my jeans can tell you that.  When I put them on sometimes they groan from my over indulgence of edible delights.  If it’s called food, it’s all edible delights in my book.  My daughters and stepson aren’t picky eaters either so I know that… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 13, 2010 2:05PM

The Day the Ceiling Opened Up

The phone rang earlier than usual that morning.  The sun was casting a grayish-rosy glow through my windows barely lighting my room enough for me to see where my telephone was.  In one bound, I leapt from bed and quietly lifted the receiver.  My dad had already answered the phone in… Read full post »