I am a dog lover.  No, I retract that statement.  I am a dog really-liker.  I used to be a dog lover.  When I was born, my family already had a dog.  She was a collie/shepherd mix named Iris.  Iris was a heroine and could do no wrong.  Ever.  She pushed… Read full post »

I am a woman.  A girl.  A female.  I know this because it says so on my birth certificate.  My driver’s license.  My gynecological chart.  I have characteristics of this gender because if I tried to pee standing up I would ruin my shoes.  I’ve given birt… Read full post »

I admit it.  I’m a sucker.  I am gullible and easily convinced when it comes to marketing strategies.  Commercials enthrall me.  I’m the person who watches the Super Bowl just for the commercials.  Infomercials soothe me when I can’t sleep.  I sit there… Read full post »

To the Parents of the children that slept over Friday night:

 First, I would like to say that nothing bad happened while your kids were in our care.  If it was sharp, I handled it.  If it was hot, they didn’t touch it.  No one got hurt and no one… Read full post »

Dear Jess,

 Thanks for the advice yesterday.  But really thanks for nothing.  I tried what you told me to do about over-complimenting Sally on her disgusting food.  At the time, I thought it would be a really good idea.  I thought that she would see the humor in it… Read full post »

Dear Jess D. Facts,

 I have been reading your posts for a while now and it seems to me that you have a very interesting way of solving your problems.  I have a situation of my own that I was wondering if you could help me with.

 I am engaged to… Read full post »

Our kids are being taught so many life lessons lately.  These lessons will take them far in life and they will hopefully remember them forever.  Our son is being taught that if you get hit there in football, don’t grab it, rub your elbow or knee instead.  Our daughters are being… Read full post »

The time of year is coming when people take inventory of their lives.  People see changes that need to be made and make lists of things they want to accomplish in the New Year.  Maybe the scale’s needle needs to fall a few numbers, maybe the house needs to be cleaner,… Read full post »

(Note:  The following was jolted back to the front of my mind thanks to Stephanie Kuohukoki’s post “In the Shit and Other Fun Times”.)

 The holidays are quickly approaching and travel plans are meticulously being made.  Families are anticipating relatives that h… Read full post »

I don’t think there’s been a job that I’ve ever really loved.  I’m a hard working person and put all efforts into doing a good job at what ever it is that I’ve been employed to do, mediocre at worst.  I’ve had a myriad of jobs, jobs of different variety,… Read full post »

I love places that have beautiful sounding names.  Places like Lover’s Lane or Easy Street are common but they still thrill me.  The United States has huge areas with names like the Grain Belt or the Bible Belt, as boring as those sound, they are still music to my ears.  I… Read full post »

There comes a time in every girl’s life when she happens upon a truly special Johnson.  Not every Johnson is the same and may even go by different names like Peter, Willy, or even Meathead.  But I want to tell you about my Johnson, my sweet eight inches of pure love. … Read full post »

I was a shy and awkward child who grew up into somewhat of the same as an adult.  My mother would try to set me up on play dates, which never ended well, usually with me sniveling in the corner.  My mom would drive over to whatever house I was at,… Read full post »

It was the summer of 1982.  It was the summer before I was going into the second grade.  It was the summer I got my first bra.  It wasn’t that I needed a bra, it just happened to come with my Supergirl Underoos.  This was the only time my mother let… Read full post »

A few months ago I had a pain in my side.  Not just one of those pains that you can feel rumble past and then exit through the back, but a pain that flared, made me double over, and sometimes get down on one knee.  If I were around anyone when… Read full post »

Think back, if you will, to the moment in time you first met your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, significant other, or current zookeeper.  Remember, back before you guys were officially together, how you wanted that person to notice you.  Try to remember how you would have probably done any… Read full post »

Author’s Note:  Due to the fact that the following happened to the author’s father, the relationship and name of the person involved will not be disclosed in the following story.  From now on, the author’s father shall have his name altered and will be known from here on o… Read full post »

My husband, a former Army sniper, has wanted to get our three kids guns for the past several years.  Each time he would bring it up, my lip would form a straight line, my shoulders would hunch up around my ears, and my eyebrows would furrow down to someplace close to… Read full post »

I used to love the anticipation of a hurricane.  Originally, I am from Wisconsin and other than the occasional blizzard, the weather there, as far as storms go, are mild.  A gushing thunderstorm up north is seriously a gentle summer sprinkle here in Louisiana.  I loved getting ready fo… Read full post »

There are some things in this world that people should never claim as a talent.  The one that I should try to cross off my list is Knife Walking.  I seem to be quite good at it, but please, don't be jealous of this.  If you're going to be jealous of… Read full post »