Jim Siergey

Jim Siergey
Chicago, Illinois, US of A
October 04
I draw. I write. I eke.


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JANUARY 30, 2012 10:11AM


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Now, I’m no stickler for proper manners and pinkies-up etiquette but is it too much to expect a wee bit of common sense and basic courtesy from the inhabitants of this modern world?

I fear that it is. I can’t even add “you know who you are” because I’m sure that these people don’t.

I recently went to the movies. I don’t usually go to the theatre to see new releases. I mostly go to see old movies---classics, noir, silent films—so the audiences I’m used to are made up of “film buffs”. They know how to act in a public theatre.

This time I went and saw a new release…with the unwashed masses.

The theatre was already very dark when the wife and I entered so I grabbed the first two seats that I could discern were empty. There were two people in the row in front of us but I could see over the head of the woman in front of me and her companion was sitting two seats over so there was no blockage for either one of us.

Before I get to them, can I touch upon the horrible habit that has been inflicted upon the modern movie-going audience?

Commercials. An onslaught of commercials is presented on the big screen, one after another, on and on. The same stuff one can see on their own TV.

It's no wonder people act as if they're at home.

I hate commercials. I never watch them. I automatically change the channel when they come on my TV at home. Can’t do it at the movies. It’s a nightmare.

No wonder the nation has turned its lonely eyes to Netflix.

Anyway, after about fifteen minutes, the commercial attacks and the coming attractions finally ended and the main feature began.

After sitting serenely through all the pre-show garbage, the woman in front of me suddenly began to constantly move. She’d lean forward and lean backwards, move to one side and the other—like someone exhibiting slow motion Tourettes Syndrome.

Boy, I thought I was a fidgeter. Next to this dame, I’m comatose.

She didn’t block my view but she was a bit annoying.

All it took was a couple of harrumphs and she sat still.

Now, for the guy two seats away from her. I guess he was two seats away because he was a very large fellow. He sat, as if in his La-Z-Boy at home, with his hands clasped behind his head with elbows prominently splayed.

A lady with a large hat from the Victorian era couldn’t have taken up as much space as he.

When he wasn’t seated in this relaxing manner, he leaned forward, resting his arms on the seat in front of him.

Now, anyone who has ever attended a performance, in live theatre or a movie theatre, knows, or should know, that you never, ever lean forward in your seat to view the action upon the stage or screen.

I’m nitpicking, I know, but just like seeing litter in a forest, it affects my inner enjoyment, which is rather tiny to begin with.

I was able to view and enjoy the movie but my peripheral vision was peeved.

As the movie was coming to its conclusion, people began coming into the theatre for the next showing. Did they take care in not disrupting the audience already seated?

Not a chance. They loudly discussed where they should sit and how hard it was to see as if they were the only ones in the universe.

I guess that’s the problem with the world today. Everyone is so wrapped up in their cocoons of cell phones, texting, iPods and iPads, laptops and Blackberries that everyone thinks that they are the only ones in the universe.

People, all I’m asking for is a little acknowledgement of your fellow man. We may be all alone in this world but we’re all alone with one another.

As we exited the theatre, I stopped in the men’s room. Another man entered in front of me.

As we walked in, there were three empty urinals. This chowderhead took the middle one!

Come on! You don’t take the middle urinal when there are three empty ones. What guy doesn’t know that?

Etiquette, folks! Let’s show some fucking etiquette!

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