> (constant '* (lambda () (join (map char '(76 111 118 101 63)))))
(lambda () (join (map char '(76 111 118 101 63))))
> (*)
"Love?"
> _

( m&m )

Sweet.

I'm tearing up.

I was gonna write "what metaness said."

This was so nice. You are a really good guy.

Very sweet!

Thanks you all :)

I had a weird night last night - I think OS is helping me deal with some of my issues with my second wife(ex), Sonya. I meant to delete this in the morning, but that's what I've been doing to the issue for three years. So - here it stays.

She really did teach me to love and wrested the cold and the broken hallelujah in all facets my soul could understand.

I've sat alone in this room with a stranger, these past three years. I've watched him lose sight of love and life and have sat by as his eyes slowly dulled with regret. The marionette moved day in and day out, work, sit, watch, drink, sleep - wash rinse and reapeat. such is the weight of a broken heart.

I found out last night that it could still feel pain. Real unadultered, raw, honest spiritual pain. Each undulating beat of pain was an electric jolt of lightning to a failing heart. With each flash - I saw images of us, images of then, images of love, and a last hallelujah image of now. It's still fresh and my psyche is in ICU, at the moment. The heart? It is beating on its own for now. Thank you all.

In the words of blumondayz:

"I was not prepared to not be alone. Strangers cared. Strangers related. My friends and family who love me and whom I love could not share those words with me. "

The post is excellent and you should give it a read if you haven't already.

Hallelujah -

I heard there was a secret chord
that David played and it pleased the lord
but you don't really care for music do ya
Well it goes like this the fourth the fifth
the minor fall and the major lift
the baffled king composing hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
you saw her bathing on the roof
her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
she tied you to a kitchen chair
she broke your throne and she cut your hair
and from your lips she drew the hallelujah.

Hallelujah,hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

Baby I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
You know, I used to live alone before I knew you
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
and love is not a victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah,hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

Well there was a time when you let me know
what's really going on below
but now you never show that to me do you
but remember when I moved in you
and the holy dove was moving too
and every breath we drew was hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

Well maybe there's a god above
but all I've ever learned from love
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah

"Love IS."

Exactly!

Your comment made me tear up. All my best to you.

Man - I feel it, and your comment - I hear that, too. It's easy to ice over and not even realize it until . . . something pops. Blessings and peace to you - we all need that sometimes.

you deserve the best!

What a poignant comment, David. Michael and I feel honored to be witnesses to this journey you’re on. You’re wise to understand that being capable of feeling, however painful, is a significant step toward healing, acceptance, and ultimately, growth. Hallelujah, indeed.

—Melissa

Sweet David...oh my....xox

I love you guys coming in after my first comment. Nana, Ariana, Owl, Kathy, and beloved Robin - I don't want to generate sympathy - I'm the same broken person everyone has known since I came on OS. With the same glimpses of love and light.

It's just that when a little truth leaks - all bets are off :) I so want to tear this post down and leave OS - That lets me know it is working.


Peece amd love,
dj

Melissa - thank you. I don't know what to say, you and Michael are beloved always. Ok, so maybe it's because I think you guys are real, so very real - love you

David: SO GLAD you did not/have not taken down this post at least before I was able to see it! You have touched me deeply! I understand when you say you wanted to tear it down like you've been doing. I do the same thing. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for not this time!

Not around here it aint...

zashin, thank you *hugz* :)

James, It wasn't here either until I realized it Was. It IS regardless of my current state of mind or confusion or belief. It was there to catch my spiritual and mental brokeness like nothing before has been. It was the sharp contrasted realization that I can Love - still - regardless of whether or not I realize it. It Is. Sometimes a truth has no meaning unless it explodes at a personal level, literally, in your midst. Make Love Bombs

peece and love all!
dj

I'm glad I didn't come by here early or I would have missed your comments. I feel you. I hope you hang around for awhile.

Awwwwww.

Harp! thanks for stopping in :) I'm hanging around and it ges easier every day. Thanks man.

Gwendolyn! :)

peece!
dj

This is TOO WEIRD, DJ - I had been wanting, yet waiting, to read this most recent post of yours. Today went out to get some sun on the deck; put on Pandora, my Leonard Cohen selections. And on came "Alleluja" (his own cover of his own song). Mind you, I had NO IDEA what your post was about - just saw "LOVE" under your avatar for the past few days.


15 minutes later, I decide to read your post - and here is yet another version of the song.

Newton is right: There is MUCH synchronicity going on here lately - (I will alert him to this latest one!) - Angie

My heart swells with synchronicities on this site of spirit and friendship. Love - to you and yours.

Thank you for stopping by, Angelique Simonetta.

*hugz!*

peece and Love Bombs :)
dj

I love this song and this version is powerful. I didn't realize you were struggling with the feelings of loss and love. I'll stay tuned.

@ Angelique. Synchronicity is a very real phenomenon that I too am very aware of and intrigued with. I notice it all the time in my life, and I love connecting with others who do.

grif82600! Thank you for dropping by. I agree with you - it is good to meet and connect with others where synchronicity is concerned :)

peece and Love Bombs,
dj

Bop Gun!


and love bombs :)
dj

DJ, I don't know how a missed this post, and it's a real tough one you're going through, and I wish you well on that journey of recovery.

About synchronicity, thought I'd share part of my PM with Angie.
___________________________________________________
This Wikipedia definition does it for me:
Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events which are causally unrelated occurring together in a meaningful manner. In order to count as synchronicity, the events should be unlikely to occur together by chance.

The concept does not question, or compete with, the notion of causality. Instead, it maintains that just as events may be grouped by cause, they may also be grouped by their meaning. Since meaning is a complex mental construction, subject to conscious and subconscious influence, not every correlation in the grouping of events by meaning needs to have an explanation in terms of cause and effect.

Can you Imagine the implications, that there is an underlying causality that is related to meaning, and not just mechanical time. How do you prove this except through our personal experiences of it, certainly not something that is absolutely scientifically verifying as meaning indeed is a purely subjective thing?

The way I prefer to look at it is that we a co creating a multidimensional landscape beyond our limited senses, one in the infinite dimension of meaning. The key is to pay it head, and revel in those moments of divine grace, but moreover, to dance in tune with it.

So dance on brother.

Newton! Thank you for your thoughts and for dropping by. Each day is different then the rest, yet the same, but perhaps only for now.


"Can you Imagine the implications, that there is an underlying causality that is related to meaning, and not just mechanical time."

Reading that I imagined how the first natives of South America felt when one finally pointed out to them that there were huge 'things' in the water. Finally seeing them for the first time. How long were they there in the water - invisible - because that reality would not mesh with theirs? Causality related to meaning - yes!

Co-creation starts with the immersion of our only way to connect the here and now to each other. That is - through our words and posts, stories and poems. It comes full circle as synchronicity it seems.

Grace and peece!
dj
I dance
:)

Speaking of which -this is a comment I left on robin's site yesterday:

Neruda speaks power :)

"Bring them all
to where I am waiting for you;
we shall always be alone,
we shall always be you and I
alone on earth
to start our life! "

I see myself holding a Tommy gun - defending you and me, defending us. We wait and defend and defend, and Love and love...

and Love, Us.

Yes we love ourselves and we wait and defend Us.

Lock and load and Fire -

though it cost us our life,
we start and we bleed our strife,
we start our life
finally.
Alone
and together,
to love and be
the tiny
dancer.

Dancing in synchronicity :)

What can I say, but let's keep dem toes tapping to da toon of life, but I suppose there's no use dancing if we can't hear the music.

DJ - True Love is Truly Constant. This is what I sense from your post here.

As Lao Tzu said in the Tao Te Ching: "Mold clay into a vessel" (Chapter 11). The clay is Being, while the empty space is Non-being. But the essence of the Way is neither in the matter nor the empty space, nor is it beyond matter and empty space. Instead, the essence of the Way, CONSTANCY, is the principle and the reason for Being and Non-being giving birth to each other (Yi Wu).

So keep giving birth, my poetic friend and brother!

Newton! Will do - as for the music there's usually a piece playing in my head :)

Angelique! I agree with you - and True Love is Truly Constant :) Being and non-being and the essence of the Way is a beautiful way in which to see your 'unfolding' principle. So this must be my reincarnation - every day, with every thought, in every way. You too Angelique, your poetry, photos, and writing has sparked more than one inferno in my headz.

That is something this small group has in common: we are all mid-wives to the birth of each other's thoughts and inspirations.

Peece and love!
dj

I agree - There is some real "alchemical" process going on around here lately - TRANS/MUTING us all!

Angelique! Trans/Muting indeed :)

Metaness! I finally learned enough lisp to load :) ascii chars and all. It seems so 'alive' for some reason. maybe I'm just really hungry to get into the programming game as 'fun' again. Thank you for this -

peece friends,
dj

David: Metaness! I finally learned enough lisp to load :) ascii chars and all. It seems so 'alive' for some reason. maybe I'm just really hungry to get into the programming game as 'fun' again. Thank you for this -

Michael: Are you using newLISP? Or another lisp? It’s interesting that you use the word “fun,” as that’s one of newLISP’s taglines: “puts the fun back in LISP”.

Melissa: Yes, Lutz is all about fun.

Michael: That so misportrays him, it’s not even funny.

Melissa: Hahaha. But he is about making the language as fun and simple to use as possible!

Michael: I know, but you said that he’s all about fun, and when you said that, I pictured him with a party hat on, with two drinks in hand, smiling and dancing, when in fact, he spends all his time thinking about and developing newLISP. Anyway, David, if you have any questions or want any help programming, just let me know. I’m not a real programmer, so I might actually be of help to you ;-)

Melissa: Yes, David. Michael is very modest about his contributions to newLISP, but Lutz would have a different story :-)