What are your goals for the near future?
To sober up and get out of anger management. Unfortunately the judge says I’m a belligerent drunk.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Homeless or dead.
What would you consider your dream job?
Coaching girl’s soccer. The younger the better.
Have you ever been in trouble with the law?
You mean this week? No, I’ve been pretty lucky.
How do you feel about drug testing?
It depends. What kind of drugs are we talking about here? Not all of them agree with me, but I’m willing to try anything once.
What would you say are your greatest assets as an employee?
Staying awake. And beating sexual harassment suits. But those bitches really had it coming, if you know what I’m saying.
What would you consider your greatest weakness?
Kryptonite. And personal hygiene.
Why do you think we should hire you as a school bus driver?
I’m always willing to share my stash with coworkers, and only have two hit and runs on my record.
Okay the, thanks for coming in. We’ll let you know.
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Comments
We actually had a guy come to interview for a management job at my company a while back, knowing he had to talk to my female boss, wearing a tee shirt that said "I like Boobies" with a pictures of tits on it...
Great post!
-r-
A perfect match to a perfect job if I ever heard one....