After a long stretch of bad luck I'm seeing my savings dwindle to nothing again and am trying to think of other options to get through the lean times. Some are obvious - Multilevel marketing, starting a religious cult, selling organs.
But a good writer is nothing without insight, imagination and even prescience, so I'm fairly certain I can see what industry will dominate the next century - Faith-based marital aids.
With a growing pool of devout immigrants, Born Again Christians, and Bible Belt Fundamentalists, it is only a matter of time before the profane and profound meet, and I want to be in on the ground floor.
Virgin Mary vibrators. Shroud of Turin Condoms. Star of David anal plugs. The possibilities are endless. I think people are getting a little tired of casual encounters and meaningless sex, so it's only a matter of time before they turn to their faith for guidance and anal stimulation.
Oh, sure, Trojan Condoms do the job, but can they offer the same emotional comfort or spiritual guidance as condoms with verses from the Koran or Dead Sea Scrolls? I think not.
So Ben Hur, Meet Ben Wah.
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