Snoreville Ledenrocker

Snoreville Ledenrocker
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New Jersey, USA
Birthday
May 09
Title
Minister of Counterpropagana, Mental Health Opponent, Generally Snazzy Guy
Bio
Politically moderate, spiritually agnostic, I try to look at things objectively and find some semblance of the truth, before passing it on in blogs, in an articulate, yet vulgar manner. If you don't like it, don't read it. Or tell me why, in rational, well thought out arguments. I will try to be fair. I will try to be patient. I will try to be the voice of sanity in a sea of hipsters and art fags. Just look at my face. Do I look like I'm joking? Or like a someone with common sense, style, and gravitas? If I've learned only one thing after all these years, I'd probably be suffering from some kind of horrible learning impairment. Death to the New World Order!-----------------------------------------"Just look at us. Everything is backwards, everything is upside down. Doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, psychiatrists destroy minds, scientists destroy truth, major media destroys information, religions destroy spirituality and governments destroy freedom.” ― Michael Ellner ----------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- "We are grateful to the Washington Post, the New York Times, Time Magazine, and other great publications whose directors have attended our meetings and respected their promises of discretion for almost forty years. It would have been impossible for us to develop our plan for the world if we had been subject to the bright lights of publicity during these years. But the world is now more sophisticated and prepared to march towards a world government... The supranational sovereignty of an intellectual elite and world bankers is surely preferable to the national auto-determination practiced in past centuries." - David Rockefeller, Speaking in June, 1991 meeting in Baden, Germany"----------------------------"The real truth of the matter is, as you and I know, that a financial element in the larger centers has owned the Government ever since the days of Andrew Jackson — and I am not wholly excepting the Administration of W. W. The country is going through a repetition of Jackson's fight with the Bank of the United States — only on a far bigger and broader basis." Letter to Col. Edward Mandell House (21 November 1933); as quoted in F.D.R.: His Personal Letters, 1928-1945, edited by Elliott Roosevelt (New York: Duell, Sloan and Pearce, 1950), pg. 373

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AUGUST 21, 2010 8:30PM

Open Call - Commencement Address

Rate: 2 Flag

Since I've been reading up on the famous Wear Sunscreen speech by Mary Schmich

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-schmich-sunscreen-column,0,4054576.column

it got me thinking it would be an interesting invitation to other writers to pen their advice to future graduates, serious or silly. I will try the latter:

It's an honor to speak at the Ponds Institute today, so I would like to thank Dean Mortin for inviting me.

If I could offer one bit of advice for the future, it is stock up on weapons and canned food. Maybe find a place in your parents back yard and start digging.

Oh, I realize that's not what you want to hear, having survived four years of courses in a field of your choice, now wide eyed and waiting to take on the world, but it's pretty much over for America. The water and air is shot, the food slow poison. The amount of debt, crushing.

And it's really only a matter of time before some terrorist sends an EMP missile over our shores to put us back into the stone age. Then it's really just a matter of who has the most amunition and drinkable water.

Christ, you guys are fucked. Life will be hard, but survival will be possible for the strong and fast, but only as long as you trust no one, shoot first and ask questions later, and learn how to skin a racoon. 

Oh, you might stock up on suncreen, but you're not too likely to get skin cancer living in a fallout shelter anyway, making quick night raids for food and water. Setting traps for anyone who gets too close. When the food runs out, you'll probably wind up eating them, and using their skin for belts, but for now, let's just say sunscreen is not all that important.

To the parents in the audience, you might as well spend your children's inheritance now. Maye see Europe. You're going to be the first to die when the shit hits the fan, and lets face it, you're too fat and old to run.

I bet you wish you had spent less time watching Dancing with the stars now, rather than, oh I don't know, actually dancing.  Look at the kids graduating today. Do you honestly think you can outrun them, you miserable old fucks?

Maybe if you stock up on weapons and learn to use them you can survive a few years. But let's face it, you've used up your time as it is, and you're largely responsible for the human shithole you've handed your kids anway, so suck it up. It's not like you actually deserve to live.

Anywho, good luck in your future endevaors. As for sunscreen, I don't care, buy some if you want. Why the fuck did you ask me to speak if you're not going to take my advice anyway?

On a side note, I would be willing to train some of the young women I see here, in self defense and basic survival along with a signed copy of "Surviving the Apocalypse," in exchange for sexual favors, so see me after this speech. Thank you and God speed.

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Here is a link to the submission by Gailrae:

http://open.salon.com/blog/gailrae/2010/08/21/real_and_really_real_graduation_speeches

 

 

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Comments

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Nothing like inspiring young impressionable minds.
Masterful! Wonderful! Rated! And, I answered the call.
I read yours. It was great.