We are presently under attack. Your service is required.
Please grab a bottle, an appetizer (no nuts please) and some tunes and join us here.
As is our way, this venue could move swiftly back to Cat's blog because she has the best basement, and the poor sod seems to really like us. Go figure.
thanks CK
UPDATE:
From JL's blog...
It's all good. I just checked out devonia's hateful other blog and the comments. She got our message and they've moved on to looking at Wordpress. Good job everyone!
PS It appears that the reason they must move quickly is because Yahoo is getting too many complaints about theirblog there and may shut them down at any moment LOL
PS It appears that the reason they must move quickly is because Yahoo is getting too many complaints about theirblog there and may shut them down at any moment LOL
The invaders have run off with their cannons foddered.
Well done Wimmen. Now Grog for everyone!!!!!!!!!!!
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My god, my breasts are fabulous.
(Off to kick the boys the Poor Sod out for the night...)
Get everyone!
Well, I have to go buy pirate groceries, but I'll be back...
Mary, send the Sgt over, and we'll use as best we can. There's plenty o room for glory amongst we pirate wimmen. We don't have the massive egos of the men pirates. And we make lovely appetizers suitable for any uprising.
(thumbified - AVAST YE PENIS-WIELDING SURRENDER MONKEYS!)
I really need to revisit my other hobbies, don't I?
Jodi. you rock
You all rock
http://www.hotpiratebabes.com/party.html
If we're gonna be tying things, can we use silk cords? If something is going to leave a mark, I'd prefer it was from natural fibre.
Do pirates spank?
(wandering off to find JLee again...)
ok. red boots on, check. fabulous gimlet makings, check. ammo belt on fabulous chest, check. new blue pirate avatar, check.
are the penis-wielding surrender monkeys manning the oars yet, general?
(Sorry. Mamoore...)
Well sailors, I've been called to take my ship through rough seas for the next hour or so. This unexpected attack delayed my departure, and I am afraid I'll be fighting the tide.
You will have to carry on without me. I trust that Cat can manage unti I return or until Zuma shows up.
The Canadian women have done it again! Whipping it up into a fine pirate frenzy!
So excited to meet Melissa's mom. We must bestow some honor upon her! What with all my exclamation points! I'm the only one not drinking!
Off to collect the wee pirate lady-in-training to go to the Naturopath. Back later!
This is a great song for us - Adam and the Ants. Jolly Roger.
It's hard to type with a bleeding hook.
arrgh musta been dirty captain morgan
hang em then give em a fair trail!
A better pirate movie could not be written. **GRABS THE POPCORN AND SETTLES IN TO WATCH**
The pirate speaks,"T' ideology o' civil society opens a space for t' poetics o' t' specular econome. Therefore, t' epistemology o' post-capitalist hegemony be strictly congruent with t' discourse o' t' nation-state."
Am I 86'd?
Silk stockings make the best tourniquets...
@nana: tread carefully, person with different genitals than us. we can be tricksy. ;-)
Looks like whatzername & her Palin-lovin' friends are the pirates raiding the good ship O.S.
Why join the navy if you can be a pirate?
Steve Jobs
Life's pretty good, and why wouldn't it be? I'm a pirate, after all.
Johnny Depp
you must be a pirate for the Pirate's Code to apply and you're not, and thirdly the code is more of what you call guidelines than actual rules
The bad pirate from Pirates of the Caribean
Can't find any quotes from the great female pirates...Johnny Depp quite hogs the pirate-quote market actually...
Oops. Off hold (wanders off )
To: All In Group
Re: Effective Response to Ungentlemanly Attentions
1. It is occassionally brought to my attention that certain alleged gentlemen in public life have been behaving in an abusive and ungentlemanly manner, most particularly in their attentions to assorted female co-workers, subordinates, and passing strangers. Sgt. Mom spent 20 years in the military, a milieu almost overwhelmingly male, and has considerable experience in coping with those males of our species who fancy themselves as wolves, or give the impression they were raised by same. The thought has often occurred that the instinctive response of women who have been subjected to such disgraceful behavior may not always have been the most effective in preventing reoccurrence.
2. Standards of gentlemanly gallantry have shifted somewhat in recent decades, admittedly. A male acquaintance who was a mad fan of the early James Bond films watched them on video some thirty years later and confessed himself appalled at the misogyny, and demeaning behavior demonstrated toward women by his hero. What was saucy and flirtatious in 1960 appeared terribly boorish by 1990. Standards of polite behavior were not assisted during this same period by any number of people, male and female, which had such standards all confused with political and economic justice, and were experimenting with new ways of getting along in a mature and professional manner.
3. Most of the gentlemen of Sgt. Mom’s acquaintance made accommodation WRT male-female relationships by internalizing the standard that if they wouldn’t say it to their mother, sister, daughter, girlfriend or wife in public, then they certainly won’t say it to any other woman in a professional or social setting. This is a satisfactory and generally workable standard. There are however, those men who persist in ungallant, unwelcome and offensive behavior, and without “blaming the victims” in any way, I am afraid we have been remiss in our customary response to abuse in the workplace.
4. Ladies, those of us who have spent any time in a traditionally male-dominated field are aware of certain home truths. Among these truths is that some guys are just clueless jerks who will never come to an understating of how offensive they have been, when the response is the usual girly-girl passive-aggression. Smiling weakly, and then running to the ladies room for a good cry will not do any good. Moaning to your girlfriends, or simmering over it for three or four years before complaining to the Social Actions Office, or Human Relations, the crusading columnist for the LA Times, or your touchy-feely Womyn’s Support Network will not do any good. Even getting a lawyer, and bringing charges years after the fact will really not do much good, although it may make you feel better and make your lawyer a little richer. Is some guy saying something crude, offensive and demeaning to you? Nine out of ten, the offensive jerk has no clue - or if he does, he is your plain old garden-variety bully. The most effective way of responding to either version is to stand up straight, step up toe to toe, take off the genteel white gloves, squash down all your instinctive ladylike inhibitions…. And be just as crude, offensive and nasty in response. Don’t cry, don’t whine, just go straight for the jugular, or other vulnerable area; think of it as raising his consciousness, or establishing a good working understanding. If these actions are well and effectively performed, he will not grievously offend again, and if he does, you guarantee to serve up his balls on a silver plate, tastefully ornamented with a spring of parsley and perhaps a small tomato carved into the shape of a rose. The offender will be enlightened as to the error of his ways, and apologize abjectly; you will shake hands and never mention it again.
In conclusion, I will remind you again; strong women do not take crap or look to others to fight for them; instead they dish it back with interest.
Sgt. Mom
Oh, I should like to ride the seas,
A roaring buccaneer;
A cutlass banging at my knees,
A dirk behind my ear.
And when my captives' chains would clank
I'd howl with glee and drink,
And then fling out the quivering plank
And watch the beggars sink.
I'd like to straddle gory decks,
And dig in laden sands,
And know the feel of throbbing necks
Between my knotted hands.
Oh, I should like to strut and curse
Among my blackguard crew....
But I am writing little verse,
As little ladies do.
Oh, I should like to dance and laugh
And pose and preen and sway,
And rip the hearts of men in half,
And toss the bits away.
I'd like to view the reeling years
Through unastonished eyes,
And dip my finger-tips in tears,
And give my smiles for sighs.
I'd stroll beyond the ancient bounds,
And tap at fastened gates,
And hear the prettiest of sound-
The clink of shattered fates.
My slaves I'd like to bind with thongs
That cut and burn and chill....
But I am writing little songs,
As little ladies will.
-- Dorothy Parker
OH MY GAWD I HAD NO IDEA SHE WROTE THIS!!! THANK YOU PIRATE WIMMIN FOR LEADING ME TO THIS!!!
and nana...we will take the men over. xox
i know i've got a dirk here somewhere [scrabbling in drawer]. aaaaah. [tucking it behind ear].
didn't think i could like dorothy more. was so so wrong.
I hereby request we name our ship the S.S. Dorothy Parker.
Hands?
**
thank god for all those robert's rules of order years i spent.
onward, cat.
back in a bit. carry on.
Harlee - you're cracking me up. Over their heads, indeed;)
Where is Michael Rodgers? He looked so fetching last time. Have we brought appropriate attire for the other men? Zuma had a gorgeous flouncy dress on her post recently.
Rose, you tramp, you.
Frank is back at my post swabbing rum from the decks. It appears we're making enough mess for two blogs...
But the men here should be cleaning. And filling barrels with grog or something.
Thanks Robin!
Now, do those shoes come in size ten mens?
Splice the mainbrace!
gurgle.
zounds, as they said in pirate waters.
robin? are you there, sweetie?
I'll be back with libations to read all these comments.
My dear wimmen...in real life, my own favorite pirate womin is keelhaulin' my ass off to an ACLU dinner. You know that room is going to be crawling with pirate wimmen. Ahoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPIcwFKrTus
Melissa, hand me a pair of those shoes.
Frank, you and Andy need to step up the pace. C.K., you and Spotted need to stop gossiping in the corner and help me get this mast in.
Those wily conservatives just handed Ann Coulter a megaphone.
Now, that's overkill.
i'll bring goodies. [tucking up skirt, leaping into zodiac, speeding off]
Champagne makes me sneeze.
(God, I am fucked. I am so fucked.)
{switch to "scary/I-mean-business " av}
http://lindalenzentreiber.blogspot.com/2009/09/anne-bonny-pirate-misbehavior.html
http://www.thepirateking.com/bios/omalley_grace.htm
ck: nana was here a while ago but i might have scared him when i used the word "genitals" in a sentence addressed to him. PM him and see if he'll come back. he's a gooood slave, i hear.
and, frank, you are, oh, yes, you are. will be dealt with later.
must dash. [clickety clack of cute red boots on deck]
So, yekdeli!
I actually know who Anne Bonney is, Linnnn! A pirate that swings both ways! Yay! There aren't enough boys here, the swinging may get a little tangled in the ropes!
designanator, be a luv and send Larry to find some more slaves. I mean men.
Frank, now is not the time to get weak. We're hungry.
harleegirl, you're livin' up to your name. I'm impressed;)
Where the hell is trilogy with all that wine? (stamping foot....)
If anyone is looking for Harry, I have him here. In a barrel. He surrendered. And he's kinda cute, I may keep him for myself.
femme - we need to see a little more commitment from you to the cause. What cause, you ask? Cause we're bloodthirsty!!
Sounds like designator's calling for a mutiny...
~reporting from the S.S. Dorothy Parker
Waaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiittttttt for me!!!
Waft the gin this way. I wanna see those men in thigh highs. Ferget the panty hose. Six inch stillettos. They aren't gonna be running anywhere tonight.
Good to see Larry in that rather fetching cloak.
Nana, pass me the barrel to put Harry over. Harlee has designs on him that could prove amusing...
I'll be below deck napping in my hammock in case anyone "needs" me...
I must say, I look 'Fabulous'!
I also got me a case o' rum and a keg o' black powder to blow..........to use how ev'r ye see fit!
Could any of ye see fit ta invite a lowly cabin boy ta journ ye all on the Estrogen Ocean Cruise? I know me way a round a galley an' can cook ye up a mean breakfast come first light, or ye can use me like a whippin' boy, cuz I likes me soma that spankin' thing, too!
kerry, you better be careful what happens to joan. we wimmen deal harshly, you know.
nana, this time no jalapeno inserts. had an unintended effect. i'm looking for something more like a splint [shuffling in cupboard]. i'll let you know what i find.
what's the course, captain? are we headed for the islands of every fantasy?????
erm...who ARE you people? And what are you doing on my blog????
;)
Pass the champagne please. Larry, so good to see you and your cloaking device. Can we try the cone of silence later???
but first you have to twirl around and let me see you from the back. tiptoe on those shiny shoes, slave boy!
aaah. love the pink neckerchief. tres tres chic. can i borrow it later?
Hi Thomasina. We haven't met. shakeshakeshake.
Brady: we've renamed the ship, if it's okay with you. Someone fill her in. I have to go save my relationship before OS claims yet another one...
maybe one of the slave boys could craft such a device out of material in the storeroom???
but if you have one or two of those other things, we could go out back for a while. (i've got a lighter.)
Great! Now you've gone and gotten Rose to run up the pirate flag too!
As far as me having my own pantyhose, I'll save that for another day. "You can't just open up the book of my life and start reading in the middle" - Mal Renolds (firefly).
until you show pics, we aren't believing any of those ridiculous claims. pffffftt. and again, ppffffftt, i say.
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/04_02/georgebushAP2604_468x306.jpg
Ah, Michael Rodgers, you saucy ole sea dog...fetch me some rum, willya?
but if, by the obvious english words in the string, you're sending me a picture of george [the smarmy frat boy] bush, i'm laughing hysterically on my galleon.
try again. [foot tapping] i'm waiting.
Larry. I love it when you poast. (yes, that is a new word by meeeeee)
Femme, do not fear. Larry is easily swayed and sashayed.
I don't see Robin around here snerving anymore. Damn, we've lost the best bartender we've ever had.
Larry, as for your longitude...well...erm ,... let's just work on keeping your apron from drooping.
nuff said.
General Cat, may I call you General? You've done a fine job.
I feel like I should do the Romper Room thing with the tennis rackent now....
I see Kathy and nanatehay, and I see Dennis over there in italics, and femme in the tights. And I see Thomasina, and Harllee, and Frank looking so cute sans tiara, and Hells Bells and Designator, and I see....shit...and empty glass...back in a minute.
http://images2.layoutsparks.com/1/212786/beach-love-couple-silhouette.jpg
(that's what happens when no one splices the mainbrace with me)
HellsBells - that was one of my Mom's sayings;)
Oh, and Hildy? Step away from Dennis. I'm only gonna ask nicely once....
robin is awol.
hope your marriage is still intact. i know how that works. or doesn't.
And speaking of traffic. I gave you a mention in my tiara winning 3 act play, and you didn't even stop by to check it out. I know it stars your big brother Kerry with the Right Eye, but don't let that stop you from being the bigger eye. ~kisses~
So,I am so far behind, I need the world's biggest tennis racket to do Romper Room for all of you. I've manage to soften up the Scotsman. I think he'll be snoozing soon and then I can head over to Rochester, grab fingerlakes and head to boston for some of Coyote's fine Friday night dishes.
as tink my new cabin boy would mumble from beneath the sheets...
~smoochies~
yo ho ho! bottle of rum?
go back a comment or two and read the slanderous gossip larry is spreading about the general. whoa. and whoa again.
dudettes, i gotta go. dinner companions who expect me to feed them arriving imminently. [whipping off ammo belts and dirk]
will check back in later after having drunk much wine. have faith in all of you to hold the coastlines. [fluffing] {exits}
Now, where was I? My god, this bar is a mess! Let's start with martinis! Who's having what? xox
I love seeing Michael in his yellow short shorts!
And Larry's wrong about Boston Harbor.
Robin, what's the specialty of the house at your bar tonight?
I love a good wimmins pirate party! Pass me another Marguarita!
I'll take mine dirty...like my men...
;-)
Robin...it's vodka, you silly wench. Do I need to repeat myself? (burp)
Hildy, perhaps. I believe he is tall. If not, he has an impressive mane of hair we can drag him around by...
Larry/Kerry whateverthefuckyernameis....give me my damned EP for the best FAQ in a pirate's age....
Marcelle/Spotted...stop arguing and let the divine Ms. Robin make you both a cocktail.
Coyote...still laughing.
MOVIE LINE!! Anyone know the movie?
xoxoxo,
"It's a Wonderful Life"
This martini is HOWLIN'!
Thanks for the punch, Robin! It's aaaaaarrrrrrfully good.
http://open.salon.com/blog/melissa_moore/2009/11/13/shoes_for_the_cabin_boys_-_stake_your_claim
Sorry... AAAAAAARRRRRGH! Got distracted from my pirate duties.
It's the HMS Rogers, newly christened at Newport News and kept under wraps until now:
http://www.alohastatenews.com/900/12122008/900/081208-N-1060K-067.jpg
Robin - tell Ronnie to get nekkid and we'll get to him in a minute.
C.K. - piss off playing favourites. There'll be a plank for you...
Larry - we've not time for your links. Force TPTB to let us load crap directly into the comments, woncha?
Oh Robin, could I have just a teensie bit more?
I downed my second Wizer's on the rocks, unbuckles leather belt.
Throw down the ladder, I'm climbing aboard. In heels and a lovely corset from the Moll Flanders Collection at Target.
Obama stopped in Alaska today on his way to Asia. When interviewed, he said: "Hey! I can see Russia from here!" .
gah
Gimme another, Robin...
http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Uploads/Graphics/171-0301185733-mutiny-shirt.jpg
...we are trying on shoes at mamoores place. ...
Will someone get him a pair of heels?
Not that I want to take any attention away from mememememememe (and Freaky if she is about) but ... sigh.
Oh forget...nevermind.
Cat, I cannot believe you drink vodka martinis. It is both disappointing and encouraging. More gin for me, but so sorry you are missing out on a true martini. Olives taste soooo good in gin.
Larry. My towels need fluffing and my slippers are askew. snap snap sweetie
and of course as you know, if is not about me, or cat, or surly or blum, or frank, or freaky or duane, or nana, or jodi, or sandra, or zerry, or larry, or ..... than it is definitely about YOU.
I prefer gin. And vodka. And a nice pinot. And a big fat Cab.
We should invite all these pirates out to Niagara for a booze cruise.
Or just have all our manservants paddle us up the river...
O'Really - wondered where you'd got to, girl. And you know if O'Really starts hollering for batteries, it's not for her fuckin' mouse...
I'm having some difficulty hoisting this flag. Larry? Frank? A boost? s'il vous plait?
(Robin or whoever is pouring, could you throw a Sapphire and tonic this way? Yes, yes, I can catch it..,just for the love of god don't lose the lime!)
I tried the Pirate translator someone linked. It reacted to me like those fembots in Austin Powers when he talks nonsense and makes their heads explode.
okay. i'm easily excitable. what can I say.
back to swashing buckles.
http://www.maritimequest.com/warship_directory/us_navy_pages/aircraft_carriers/photos/abraham_lincoln_cvn72/01_uss_abraham_lincoln_cvn_72.jpg
It took me so long to scroll up here, that I forgot what I was going to say...crap.
Oh, but i love the Sapphire gin. ... erm ... its the the bestest... erp.
~~~~~~sob~~~~~~~~
Matey.
Go Sapphire!!!
And the kids are fed.
And I have a bag of Smart Food on my lap...
Sorry. Chips Ahoy!
Nice try, Larry, but we are not falling for those "links". Rick roll us back to the disco era and distract us from the task at hand, would you? I think not! (Um, Gen Brady, what exactly is that task and whose hand is..never mind!)
We can tip this place around like a Tilt-a-Whirl when we feel like it.
BTW, the first pirate in this post had cameltoe. Just saying.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT
Larry. Obviously you have not read my 3 act play, which is a take on Dicken's A Christmas something... but if you did, you'd realize that the feed is { thinking about her future on OS here} well it is {::tap, tap tap:: still thinking} challenged. And we pay no nevermind to it.
{gah, can we have a big applause for spelling, parenthesis, and for goodness sakis the dam italic} Where the heck is
Sorry to yell. These damned guys manning the oars are sweating so loud I can't hear anything.
Harry is still in a barrel. Frank is whothefuckknowswhere, Tink wandered off ages ago, Larry keeps spouting links that nobody is sober enough to follow, and Trudge just showed up disparaging remarks about my glamour photo.
Men.
Meh.
consonantsandvowels taught me this last week when O'Really screwed up my blog.
anyone seen consonantsandvowels? she'd make a good pirate.
I think I need to lie down now...
I was thinking our best way to show you-know-who that she is out of her element here is for us all to write posts highlighting our prodigious critical thinking skills. But if you're all drunk, we might have to go to Plan B.
What can I say? Only in cyberspace...
Where are some men to boss around? And, I have seen entirely too little spanking. Devonia, who is Devonia?
S.S. Dorothy Parker is the bad mama of all ships. As Donna said, the Puget Sound is secure. Pirate Wimmen Rule!
BTW Surly, we also have velveeta and we are about ready to crack open the French's Onion Rings. The ladies are heading for the hot tub as I speak...
Spotted. thanks.
...thinking... do not want to scroll back down to try to remember. *damn, it was so clever*
*clever...clever...still thinking...it is just on the tip of my brain...I really need to get a life...arrrr wo man up... be a pirate. ....*
Surly made it...no avocado green things in sight
meh...
erm... nope totally forgot what I wanted to say
As tink says...have a bitter tomorrow. or something like that.
More drinks, please!
Unless I"m the only one who is seeing them..
No offence aim. I love you.
Pffffffffffftt.
what else are you seeing???
We should keep him.
Has Robin stepped out? May I fill in? Who needs a drink? Larry out? I can drive too...
At your service my fine pirate friends...
This has been more fun than looting the Love Boat in high season.
I'll step over the survivors in the morning, and raise a toast to the stratospheric numbers we've achieved to end this week on a high note.
Captain Brady, I salute you;)
But I'm drunk, and THINK I can see the letters. This hook is great for two digit typing.
One more for the road, whoever's pouring! I mean, for the dinghy! Or the plank!
General Brady, Robin, Cat and the of ye crew, Godspeed!
{still at work here--gonna be a long night of typesetting}
xoxoxo,
Either way, we are cool with it here. AND we love noodles.
Anyway, here's a shot from Nassau with a ship similar to the HMS Lauerman moored in the distance.
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3181/3071457492_ca5a3cbd18.jpg
And Dennis, we thought we'd lost you to italics forever. "Where is the Rum Gone" is something I asked repeatedly in Havana this spring. But someone always showed up with more.
Gnite all. I am sure Zumalicious will show up to keep things in order soon. Those Westcoasters always show up late.
Sally forth............
Where did the rum go?
the editors, burp, Oops.
'eh, sip 7-up, burp rum.
O heehaws. Oops. tease.
If I can just see Michael and Larry in peek a boo toes and fuck me shoes, my life's dream will be realized.
Sigh. I'll start the waffle batter.
String? Following the string? I counted all night long.
I kept thinking I was dangled? I dreamed of a woman.
I can't imagine how it happen? I have rice in my hairs.
I was married to thee woman? I No reveal my dreams.
Good Morning. Life is wild. We are on a ball of yarns.
I did read Michel `de Montague said Life can be that.
A Yarn ball unfurls with perfect syncretic harmonies.
It's interesting.
Cats love string.
You two were playing a cellist tune and beating Ya feet.
You threw some rice that in my hair that I'll boil for rum.
Where in the devil's name is my bloody Bloody Mary?!
I hear them too, sometimes, in the deep depths
Cello and violin and toes tapping and the wind in the sails.
How do you want your eggs? I mean, besides fertilized?
Mornin' wimmen. Where's that man-wench? I needs me some hair of the dog and a bit o grub.
(double entendre not intentional but appreciated)
You think this is complaining? You are obviously unfamiliar with my blog.
Jeesuz, what a damned mess (steps over puddles of rum, Sirenita in a bustier that's somehow come untied, Kathy still looking unruffled, and peering a barrel to see if Harry is still in there...)
you didn't keep my chair warm. i heard you said "oh, i'm fucked, i'm so fucked." i'm still contemplating the punishment.
poached, darling. [yawn] and the bloodiest of marys. quickly, there's a love.
good morning, all you lovely wimmen.
Mornin' Wimmens!
When we've all been fed, I say we toss him overboard.
But then, who would make lunch?
C.K., Spotted, Femme....morning, beauties. Nice black eye, Spotted.
Just a bit of powder from the cannon.
Last nite CK told me I could fit in there and she'd blast me circus-like onto the enemy ship...
(too early for italics?)
Because this ship sails under a Canadian flag, I'll have a Bloody Ceasar please. Cat? How about you.
Frank, watch out for the gimble stove. It'll pinch your pinkies if you aren't careful. And I'd like poached eggs on toast with runny yolks. Not those hard things they serve in restaurants. Thx doll. You look smashing in those ruby slippers, but stop grabbing at my tiara. It's MINE this week. Oh, and that other guy...hmmm...oh yeah Floyd. I can't believe I have to share. Pffft. ;)
Hells Bells, I hope your mother doesn't blab this all over church tomorrow. If my mom finds out, I am toast.
I've got a bridge to build today...seriously. I just hope I don't smash my thumb. Oh, and I have to read the Wheels section. I need to see what a certain someone has been up to all week.
Frank, I'll be up on the aft deck. A side of aspirins would be nice too.
~kisses~
Going to have to change that flag's name from the Jolly Roger to the Jolly Janie. Or some such.
Caesars and chainsaws.
If you were Canadian this morning, you'd get that. The General will get that after she reads her paper.
The rest of you? Not so much.
Oh, and aim is righteously right about that wench Emma.
There is no way you should be let loose with a chainsaw, no matter how innocent your initial intent. I know. I have a sword in my trunk. There will come a day when you are sitting behind some dippoop and you will seriously consider whipping it out for effect. And then the little play will run in your head ... the one that ends with you in cuffs on the front page. And you will shudder and clean out the trunk.
Now, if you have a hockey mask to go with it...then maybe.
Frank!!!! How ARE those eggs coming???
Wha? G-G-General. I wasn't reaching for the tiara. I was trying to tuck a strand of your beautiful hair behind what's left of your ear. You wimmen should be more careful with your dirks.
(Tiara...my Precious...)
mornin', cat. have that poem half memorized. great find.
frank, is there any crisp bacon? i really need some more protein. [hitching tight jeans]
But I'll be passing on pork this morning. Just some eggs and toast.
canadian bacon, kentucky bacon. i'm just gonna have indiana's bacon if he doesn't speed this up. fraaaaaank! [peering down hatch]
Breaking all rules of Pirate Etiquette and putting a link in Brady's Captain's Log...sorry.
http://www.wheels.ca/Columnists/article/782915
I'm no Dorothy Parker;(
frank? thanks for the kleenex. [blowing nose but daintily]
Okay. Now, 'scene'.
frank, you wouldn't. would you???
You will excuse me. My--er, General Brady's--tiara fell in the soup again. I have no idea how it got there, but I'm blaming Floyd.
The galley is closed. Please claim your children. Pffft.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqMu6e5Dgtg
Cheers!
mypsyche keeps stumbling into things. And she's sloshing stuff all over the place.
Should I start the chainsaw? (WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRR)
I ain't gots no stinkin' kids.
(God. The tips in this place are lousy.)
It appears the S.S. Dorothy Parker, with a full complement of well-fed, drunken Vagina Pirates, ably supported by their terrified-but-hard-working menfolk, and captained by the indomitable General Brady have conquered the high seas and the Waves of Stupid (yes, Emma, I do believe you have won that battle) that have threatened to crash over her decks.
Take that;)
in my title...and we were frustrated at the time, so it is a bit of a play on words.
And the yanks have been slaughtering the English language for so long, I doubted they'd notice.
Else there's a date with the briny for you.
I need a Bloody Mary and god, keep the eggs away from me if you don't want to see me hurl
I can't believe my blog has become exactly like the apartment I shared with a friend in university. Every Friday, I'd drag 10 or 15 friends home who'd pit in the for a night or often a weekend of partying. Sigh. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
I love youse alls and OS and sob sob ((collapses into a puddle but still typing)).
Ok, this calls for a drink. Cheers, mateys!
(Oh, and Cat and JK? I mapquested Toronto. It's a mere 485 miles away. And C.K. LOVES to drive. So...a meet up must be planned. )
I love you all - we won!
winning is great. spending the night here was even better. {someone tell dennis what happened to the rum and the italics}
Actually, we were fighting a scourge of Conservative hatred last night. There is a link between the sexy pirate wimmen pictures above. It seems we had them shaking in their booties and skulked back under dark of night. YEAH!!!
Now, have you finished cleaning my cabin yet? I'm feeling a nap coming on. You never know if or when this pirate party will roar back to life. And I could have used your cabin building skills today while I was building a bridge over our stream...erm... I mean a new gang plank for the HMS Dorothy Parker. ;)
More grog? I have to say that no one paid attention to me last night. You know, in the corner, with the rum? Passed out? Needing her hair held back? Hey, at least I'm building my alcohol tolerance back up to the level it was in college. Thanks Devonia!
I'd also like to submit a new word. You know, like Susanne's asshat. Devonia = troll, nutball, instigator, runs away with her tail between her legs....
It looks like her blog is gone from here too. A resounding victory!
All under the major leadership of General JK Brady, who can battle, booze, and beat up the best of 'em!
Even though I missed it all, I send a big Yarrr and a hearty congratulations on another big win over the forces of testosterone laden misogyny!
Pirate Wimmin Rock and Rule!
:D