I see stars.
Three eyes burn brightly, hanging upon the ink black canvas making a skewed triangle. I wonder what their names are and why they are the only stars I can see. I observe them, pinned to the spot by the weight of understanding. These three colossal suns that exist millions of light years away shine their light so hard that I can see it on this bitter cold winter’s night, somewhere in their future.
I am transfixed by their luminousity, dazzled by their magnificence and my mind shakes for a second with the power of that realisation. Here are three suns that would swallow our entire solar system, yet to me here in this moment they are nothing more than cat’s eyes on a dark road, unblinking, unending.
The moon is stark and silver, vain as she is, hiding behind her tattered veil of clouds carried by the will of freezing January winds, a heaven sized version of my breath as it escapes my scarf covered lips and disperses into the frosty, biting midnight air. As I return my gaze to my three new and most inspiring friends I feel peace wash over me, replacing the icy hands that had reached beneath my skin, wrapped their death like fingers around my bones and crushed the air from my lungs.
I am in a time machine watching events that occurred thousands of years ago as if they are happening now. I don’t know for sure if my friends even exist anymore, perhaps they are nothing more than shadows now, silent monuments in a void within a void, confined only to memory fleeting.
I do not ask the big questions. I do not care for the answers as only madness lies down that road. It is enough to marvel at the beauty of creation in all it’s wonder without the need to know it’s reasons. I accept that I am here and here for a reason. That reason is not to question the universe, but to serve it.
There is a light at the centre of my universe and it never stops shining. I carry it in my heart, radiating warmth and energy to all those I meet. My three friends in the sky are the lights in the heavens, the stars by which sailors would guide themselves to destinations desired and I choose to be like them. I choose to be a lantern, a bearer of light in these dark times. I invite and embrace the collective wisdom of all those gone before and assume the mantle of muse, listener, shepherd and soldier of light
I see it all so clearly now. We are all interconnected, all part of the same essence which exists at the core of all things. I am you and you are me. I am the stars and the skies and the oceans, the mountains and the rivers and the animals and the trees.
I am God and God is me, God is you, God is creation and creation is everything.
I can feel what you feel because we are the same, we are born from the same place, all part of that great firework from which everything exploded into existence.
I am awake now, my eyes are open and I see that I have been misguided in the past. It is not about me but what I am here to do. I am ready to do the work, ready to face the challenges and go where I am needed. I am no leader or guide but I will walk beside those who need encouragement and a strong arm around them. I am ready now, honestly, I am ready.
The light won’t let me fail or falter. As I let it shine it grows stronger and that strength manifests in my resolve.
I am a light in the darkness.
We are all lights in the darkness.
Watch us shine.
“Lanterns of hope, shine on.” - Jaz Coleman, Killing Joke.