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Jonathan Wolfman

Jonathan Wolfman
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Maryland, Northwest of The District,
Birthday
January 26
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Visit, too, please: www.talkingwriting.com www.doesthismakesense.com www.reortergary.com (pal talk news network)

FEBRUARY 7, 2012 7:05AM

Valentine Candy: What is Heterosexuality?

Rate: 15 Flag

 

     Very few wonder about the nature of heterosexuality.
    
     We're fortunate that at least one contemporary writer has so wondered and that she has written a smashing, revealing book.
    
     Among the questions Hanne Blank asks is this:  Think heterosexuality is a standard concept that's been around forever?  Think again.
    
     Rarely is heterosexuality discussed in such an interesting way as it is in "Straight: The Surprisingly Short History of Heterosexuality". The 264-page Beacon Press book is reviewed here by Dr. Abigail Zuger in the New York Times.
    
     Here's her review.
    
    __________
In Search of the Elusive Definition of Heterosexuality
By ABIGAIL ZUGER, M.D.

Science generally succeeds in bringing some order to human existence — except when it does just the reverse, imposing a structure that never quite fits properly no matter how much it is tweaked. Then it just accentuates the underlying chaos.

The much-disputed, oft-revised manual of psychiatric diagnosis might serve as one illustration of this phenomenon; given that it runs to almost 1,000 pages, Hanne Blank gets a pat on the back for dispatching the equally murky entity of heterosexuality in fewer than 200, plus back matter.

One can almost hear a chorus of experts in the many sciences of sex and gender muttering that her amusing, readable synthesis is a featherweight effort, simplistic and derivative. But for those not in the field but still in the game, as it were — readers never previously moved to reason from first principles exactly what it means to be a heterosexual or act like one — Ms. Blank darts from one intriguing, thought-provoking point to another.

She is a self-described “independent scholar” in Baltimore with several volumes of erotica and a well-received history of the virgin to her credit. Is Ms. Blank herself a heterosexual? That question prompts the first of her looping mind games.

She has had romantic relationships with women in the past — so, no, right? Now, though, she is in a stable, long-term romantic partnership with a man (so, yes, right?). But her partner has a complicated genome, with some ordinary male XY cells and some that have an XXY pattern, giving him a softer, more stereotypically feminine aspect than usual, despite standard-issue male genitalia. And suddenly that word, “heterosexual,” becomes less than the helpful, scientifically precise term one might wish for.

In fact, it was coined in Germany only in the second half of the 19th century and was first used in English several decades later with the classical sense of “hetero” (“other, different”), making it initially a term of opprobrium. Only in the first decades of the 20th century did it settle into its present niche, cushioned with overtones of romance, pleasure, health and normalcy.

Just because there wasn’t a word, obviously, doesn’t mean the concept didn’t exist. And yet, Ms. Blank points out, for much of history it never really needed a definition.

Back in the day, heterosexuality was simply the primal process that perpetuated the species with sex and sorted its possessions with marriage. It did not necessarily require much else, certainly not romance or love. “Specific sexual behaviors, to be sure, were named, categorized and judged,” Ms. Blank notes. But individuals were not: “Sexual misbehavior was not a marker of some sort of constitutional difference but merely evidence of temptation unsuccessfully resisted.”

Then came Linnaeus, with his compulsion to name and categorize living things. Then the growth of the metropolis crowded millions of sometimes very badly behaved individuals in close quarters, mandating systems to address issues like prostitution and an acceptable legal age of consent. Birth control and women’s rights slowly dissociated the relationship between the sexes from its biologic and economic imperatives, leaving individuals with unprecedented behavioral freedoms.

Thus, in Ms. Blank’s construct, emerged a comprehensive desire to define both a heterosexual being and a range of acceptable heterosexual behaviors. But even now, we are still working on both.

Scientifically, as Ms. Blank summarizes, tongue in cheek: “We don’t know much about heterosexuality. No one knows whether heterosexuality is the result of nature or nurture, caused by inaccessible subconscious developments, or just what happens when impressionable young people come under the influence of older heterosexuals.” Far more scientific firepower, in other words, has been directed at the brains, genes, hormones and general physiologic processes behind homosexual attraction, leaving heterosexuality like a silhouette, outlined only by what it is not.

Yet the great behavioral descriptionists, Alfred Kinsey and others, have made it clear that sometimes it is exactly what it is not — or, rather, it is what many feel it should not be. From same-sex adults sharing a bed (for warmth? from friendship?) in the 19th century to married men “on the down low” in the 21st, self-defined heterosexuals have routinely behaved in ways that seem to contradict the basic principles.

But who wrote those principles? Who validated them? Ms. Blank points out that the standards of heterosexuality to which so many desperately aspire have largely been the work of our culture’s biggest dreamers, including the authors of 19th-century penny novels and 21st-century chick lit. Who, after all, has given us more clear-cut, universally appealing examples of suitably behaved male and female heterosexuals than Walt Disney?

Meanwhile, the annals of law are now filling with all the subtleties that Disney ignores, for people who fail to fit into a binary sex/gender system still have both children and property. Empires may rise and fall, but those eternals remain.

Ms. Blank offers the provocative solution that soon we will move on from our present fixation on the binary to a more fluid understanding. “If male and female are two of a variety of sexes, and masculine and feminine two of a variety of genders, then heterosexual and homosexual are two of a variety of ways to combine them,” she notes.

That sentiment will upset some readers. It will strike others as merely logical, a controversial but evidence-based scholarly footnote to the chocolates and pink hearts of the season.

 

 

cover art for "Straight"

 

Hanne Blank

photo

 

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I love these provocative pieces; this one makes me think.
Jonathan, amazing that she was able to pack so much into some 200 pages. Sounds like in the earlier days when fewer things had labels people simply went about their business and perhaps because it was so omnipresent they didn't feel the need to come up with so many verbal distinctions. Fascinating how Walt Disney ended up in the middle of this, too! Paging Mickey and Minnie!
Des I never could get the Same-Mouse attraction....or could I get Opposite-Mouse Attraction, even among Disney Attractions... :)
Thanks for this informative post. I had never really considered the meaning of heterosexuality and will be thinking about it all day, no doubt.
Miguela it's intriguing how much we don't think abt!
Some of the best sex I have had is from impotent men. Go figure. There are so many combos in sexual relations that we really to do what we feel we need to deep inside. Being turned on is a wonderful, healthy thing.
Zanelle I think you make lots of sense here. Thanks!
You mentioned Kinsey who had his 6 point scale. At one end, 0, are the 100% heteros. At 6 are the 100% gays (is "homo" derogatory in every context?). 1-5 describe the various gradations so 3 is fully bisexual. Doesn't this supersede the old binary classification?
Abra it well may. Thanks!
Holly trust me, I do not fail to see the irony in this. :)
I sometimes think these "eureka" discoveries of "new ways" of redefining words that have been so well understood as to not need definition for most people, are like the attempt of the "extremes" of a "Bell Curve" to deny the existence of the "mean" and thereby somehow validate their own existence. And sell books.

It's the opposite of the Garrison Keillor town where everyone is "Above Average" It is the pushing of the notion that “We are all Freaks”.

Personally, that is not a revelation to me, though I prefer to say “We are all Individuals” I guess what I object to is the “breaking out” from one label, so that those broken loose can be herded and lumped into another.

The implication I get here is that if there is no such thing as “Heterosexual', then we all must be “Bi or Pan Sexual”.

Nope.

I think you will find that most of us are just plain old boring biologically heterosexual, because that's how “The Selfish Gene'” gets itself reproduced (according to that great revelator and iconoclast of Spiritual orthodoxy Richard Dawkins).

Sex and Gender are two different topics- I'm not talking about LOVE, agape or erotic- that is something different. I'm talking Biology, and I would say that the point must be made in Biology that male penetration of the female is definitionally how reproduction gets done in most cases where penetration is involved, and not just some slathering exchage of fluids. , hence heterosexual

The “Emotional” realm is something different. In animals, including man, dominance is often expressed in sexual dominance or penetration, not for reproduction, but for demonstration of power. This is why I have a gay friend who is disgusted by the idea that gays want to claim such sexual predators as Caesar and Alexander the Great, who were not so much Homo or Hetero sexual as sexually predatory of anything that they could screw.

All that to say, yes, we are all freaks of nature, because we are all individuals with each our own preferences, sexual and otherwise. It isn't necessary or clever to attempt to muddy the clear meaning of a perfectly good biological/sociological descriptive term, in order to convince the great herd of “Normals” that they don't exist.
Interesting article. To me there should be no labels. We are not condiments.
HUGGGGGGGGG
Linda labels can be useful, but they don't define us.
I read, I learn, I give thanks. Thanks~
The only labels I pay attention to are the ones found on foods, meds and consumables. ;) Gotta watch for ingredients which may be harmful or cause permanent injuries or death...




Belinda Tupper We all categorize things during our lives. I don't find myself doing that to others and I despise others who try to do that to me...insofar as sexuality goes, I believe we all have male and female [masculine, feminine] traits.
12 minutes ago · LikeUnlike · 1.Belinda Tupper IOW, we are humans first. Then, we're animals, then we're mammals, then we're male/female, etc. ad nauseum...
12 minutes ago · LikeUnlike · 1.Jonathan Wolfman I really like how her book seems to push at boundaries.
9 minutes ago · LikeUnlike.Belinda Tupper Self-inflicted boundaries or those from societal povs? You know my philosophy on boundaries is one which many find antagonistic to their own presets. ;)
2 minutes ago · LikeUnlike.Jonathan Wolfman I'd love, B. for these comments to appear at the blog post no matter how many boundaries your comments push. :)
about a minute ago · LikeUnlike.Belinda Tupper In non-scientific terms, I can only divulge that I've always pushed beyond the limits most only think about privately. ;)
a few seconds ago · LikeUnlike.
Write a comment.....
B. Your point is not only well-taken; I think it's courageous. hank you.
Archetypes explains much, Jon. Sensuality, I think, is more important in building long-lasting relationships than sexuality.
B. I wholly agree w that.
I read an interview with the writer and found it fascinating. Have you read Evolution's Rainbow by Joan Roughgarden? It's a biologists take on gender, sex, and sexuality. Great read.
Leslie thanks for the recommendation!
Even a quick examination of worldwide cultural differences regarding sexuality reveals our dualistic and limited perspective in the US. Some traditional Native American cultures had many catergories of sexual orientation. I am away from my books at the moment, but I recall one tribe noting at least seven sexes. As I think of the people I know well enough to know their expressed sexual orientation, I'd say seven is moving in the right direction. But that's just my perspective.
We could travel a long and complicated road discussing the variables and the labels but to put it succinctly, I like girls. You like whomever you see fit and as long as it is consensual who am I to label another human being.
I never knew i was sexually confused - but - i sure do now! lol! And, I don't know about those 'anals being filled'. Oh - You said annals! My mistake! I like/unlike/like it!