As I've shared here, my father died in the third week of August. As his funeral was in Philadelphia, our original home, and as Jewish law requires burial within three days, only a very few of his Boston-area law colleagues could attend his funeral. He taught there from 1976 on.
On Friday his colleagues held a very upbeat, and, of course, bittersweet, memorial for him in the law library. I was pleased it was so well attended; students and faculty spoke. I was pleased, too, that I was asked to share a few words, words colleagues just could not. Theirs were wonderfully satisfying to me, as were those of my niece and my stepmother who, along with the law school, arranged it. I'm grateful to all of them.
It was wonderful sharing the event with my immediate and extended family and many others, including a boyhood pal of mine who lives in New Hapmshire and found he'd be in the area earlier in the day. That he prolonged his visit, to attend, means a great deal to me.
An avid Philadelphia Athletics and later, Red Sox fanatic, if dad were to have been there, he'd have loved the string trio that welcomed us with classical fare, ending the late afternoon with a delightful "Take Me Out to the Ball Game".
Thanks, in advance, for indulging me here. I share, below, my brief words from Friday afternoon.
--
Thanks for being here to celebrate our father’s life. I speak for several of my dad's children and _____'s; I’m here to share thoughts reflecting our sense him.
My father was the most generous, giving man I have known. He taught generosity of spirit; he continually shared of himself. We, all of us here today, were recipients.
I witnessed when I was not yet ten the single most remarkable teaching he shared with me, an active teaching that has shaped my life. Even at ten I was aware of the implications of his choice to leave his [law firm] partnership for teaching and writing and advocacy. I had some inchoate sense of what he’d be giving up and I also saw his fundamental happiness over the decision grow, year-to-year.
This single decision has over and again reaffirmed for me the truth that what is most important, what brings the most sustained happiness, is to find your gift, pursue it, and give it away, and every day.
Now, as we all are, dad was a broader person than what he was as a professional. We recall his passion for us, his unconditional love for us and for our children. One recalls his love of baseball, his Red Sox, his devotion to the sports one of his children played in high school and at college, attending so many college football games and genuinely enjoying it.
Another remembers, among many other acts of generosity, how dad went out of his way to help him start out in his career by remarking to a business owner how, while yet in college, he created a useful computer program. He stayed with that company many years and is as yet in the same industry. His only ‘disappointment’ with dad came when he learned as a very young man that dad’s being a tax policy expert didn’t mean that his passion for teaching would lend itself to teaching nifty April 15th trickery.
Another recalls, as I know all of you do, dad’s “heart, graciousness, and warmth.” It shaped who he was as a man, a dad, as a professional. Perhaps most of all, she’ll miss his voice, his excitement and engagement at hearing ours. We all hope our own children have that sense of our own voices. Dad also, I should tell you, shared with me how much he himself delighted in your voices and ideas, his colleagues’ and students’.
Now, sometimes you can get a sense of a man’s humility from a small thing that he does that’s so dramatically out of character, so spur-of-the-moment, so contrary to expectation, that in fact it underscores just how thoroughly humble he really was, because you remember it as a striking anomaly, and so vividly forty-two years on.
In my freshmen year I got it in my teenage head that I needed one of those then-faddish enormous bean bag chairs. Mom and dad rightly thought it silly and knew I’d never be able to do anything but crawl out of the thing once I plunked down. But I was his son and he was a pushover for my happiness even, at times, when he knew I was being frivolous.
He called around one Saturday morning and finally found a giant bean bag, or so he’d thought, at a shop in a town up the road. When we arrived, the guy, against his over-the-phone promise to hold the stupid thing, had sold his last bean bag.
Dad looked at me, saw my insane, immature disappointment and, wholly, extraordinarily-against-character-and-temperament, said to the fella, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I AM THE DEAN AT THE UNIVERSITY OF…. The shop owner cut him off saying he didn’t care if my father were—I recall him clear-as-a-bell-- ___ING KING TUT! Dad looked at me as if to say I’M SORRY. His ‘SORRY’, of course, wasn’t about the bean bag. The exchange underscores for me just who he never ever was save in that one wildly uncharacteristic moment, moved by his love for me, even when his better judgment would’ve said, JON--YOU DON’T NEED ONE OF THOSE!
He was among the most loving and humble people we’ll ever hope to know. In sum, we love him, we miss him, we hope, for our children’s sakes,that we live up to the very best in him, for he gave it all away every day.


Salon.com
Comments
No, the men and women of their generation were one of a kind, special in so many ways, each in their own way.. We all have these wonderful memories of our parents, on the reasons they were so unique, loving , concerned and caring... Hopefully we are half as good imparting these values and love to our children...
You were very blessed, as many of us were...
I have not had the chance to meet your father,but I know you,and many times when reading your posts,I felt the force behind them,the emphasis,the love,the compassion,the thruthfulness,your noble character.(your father's spirit)
As I believe in eternity,I KNOW that the spirit lives,lingers on,helps us that we are still living ,earth-bound,on this planet,to solve our questions and problems,aiming at the ETERNAL LOVE.
My hope and belief is that we can join,the living and the dead.
Jon;Jonathan...it's important to focus on the right spirit,stay connected.
To say thank you does not express my gratitude for you, your words which you shared with us in honour of your father.
Someone said to me once"A great spirit can't die;he will live on forever".This is my belief,too.
Rated???
A humble way of saying thank you to you and your father.
HUGGGGGGGGGGG
♥
That's the hallmark of a loving, devoted father. Sounds like you had the best.
At funerals of phony politico-
I'm tempted to yell`Fibber!
My Father lived well and died.
His thoughts stick with me still.
He makes more and more sense.
He taught me to live. He died so-
beautifully - He said: `See Ya gin.
My family still ponder his riddles.
He lived and passed beautifully.
Thanks for sharing your Father.
I wrote down thoughst to share.
I found my heart spoke off-cuff.
My Father was my Best Man too.
My veterans friends were all drunk.
I doubted they could walk the isle.
He was my Best Friend and Teacher.
I think there can be no greater testament to the man than this, a living testament. r
I am happy you had this opportunity for reflection with friends and family and sang, Take me out to the Ball Park, again many times in your heart.
Your gift, which you give away daily, is your ability to make us more aware of our gifts, and I thank you for reminding us to give our gifts away every day.
r
Lezlie
At my mother’s funeral, I spoke. For 20 minutes. But at dad’s , no, no speaking allowed, though he had been a man of words and ideas his whole life. Retired in 1977 from 40 yrs of teaching…..
--
“ My father was the most generous, giving man I have known. He taught generosity of spirit; he continually shared of himself. We, all of us here today, were recipients. “ is something I might have said of my dad.
“ an active teaching that has shaped my life ……..”
My father’s voice and gentleness is still remembered here in this town, where he taught, from 1947 on…
Out of character stuff came when he got dementia…he became a big fat loving teddy bear of a man………
Humility was his strategy. Not a strategy, but ..still a strategy. For peace and the flourishing of “gentlemen and scholars”…
He & your dad may have clicked. Poor old dad, he was a bit anti-Semitic for no damn good reason, but all great men are greatly faulted………….
sorry about the twisted sentence in my comment.You KNOW why it happened.I got caught in between two languages.
It should have said:...it helps us who are still living...