^{BLUES LEGEND ROBERT JOHNSON}

 ----- 

This list isn't original to me.

In fact, no one appears to know its provenance.

Nonetheless, I share it here for those of you who think you have, have had, may some very sad day have...The Blues.

You cannot.

Here's why.

THE    RULES    OF    THE    BLUES

---Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning..."

---"I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."

---The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes... sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound."

---The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch--ain't no way out.

---Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broke-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and company motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.

---You have the right to sing the Blues if: a. You older than dirt b. You blind c. You shot a man in Memphis d. You cain't be satisfiiiied  

---If you ask for water and your baby give you gasoline, it's the Blues.

---Other acceptable Blues beverages are: a. Cheap wine b. Whiskey or bourbon  c. Muddy water  d. Nasty black coffee

---Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

---Make your own Blues name Starter Kit:

a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)

b. first name (see above)