Here is what I tolerate: Hamburgers done medium well instead of well done. Root canals and teeth cleanings. High heel shoes, occasionally.
What I do not tolerate is using the word "tolerance" when talking about groups of people. It rubs me the wrong way. It implies a shrug of the shoulders. A "Can't do anything about it, may as well accept it," attitude.
We teach tolerance in our school and I want it to stop.
I want us to stop teaching our children to just tolerate our differences. Real change will never come about with that kind of thinking.
One of my favorite former students is experiencing racial bullying in the fourth grade. She is of Asian descent, and her bullies are making fun of the shape of her beautiful almond eyes and the food in her lunch box. The teacher tries. She tells them it is "inappropriate." She cares. But she has not felt the sting of being different.
Next week we will learn about Martin Luther King Jr. We will learn about Rosa Parks and the bus boycott. The children in our elementary school will know the names of Frederick Douglas and Sojourner Truth. And for that I am grateful. But I want more.
We need to talk about the here and now. We have children in our school who need to be part of discussions that deal with our differences. We have parents and teachers who need the same thing. We are a diverse school representing many different nationalities, religions and ethnicities.
But somewhere, we got lost. We forgot to compare our similarities and celebrate our differences. We forgot to talk. Real talk about skin color and eyes that come in many shapes, and head scarves. We are a school full of opportunities to make a difference in the way we view each other.
Tolerance is a word that just doesn't fit here. We are so busy being tolerant we are missing the thousands of opportunities we have for real change. To learn about others, to find the similarities, to see the beauty. And to take it out into the bigger world.
As my tiny fourth grade friend says, "It's 2011. I thought things had changed. I guess I am wrong."
Self-portrait~ kindergarten student, age 6
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The word tolerance has definitely lost its usefulness. It was all the rage during the Civil Rights Movement. In fact, I think it was often used by Dr. King himself. But it was always the wrong word. I toloerate mosquitoes (barely), not nationalities. In a school like yours, it seems to me the teacher would have the opportunity to tailor the curriculum to include the benefits of embracing cultural differences. Is that no longer allowed?
Lezlie
rated with love
I hope we, or maybe our children, live to see the day when this is a non-issue.
If these government types are not showing it or parents how do we expect kids to learn.
rated with hugs
Oh and I love high heels too:-)
♥
As to your burger, I don't tolerate well done, that's a waste of a perfectly good dead cow. I want to hear it moo, just slightly, as I eat.
:)
::love::
Why not cheer for our differences, our nuances that make each and every one of us beautiful?
"You know what I tolerate? My daughter’s messy room. Patriots and Dolphins fans. The guy on the subway with bad breath. The word “tolerance” applies putting up with something flawed. So when someone says that they are “tolerant” of Muslims and gays, I hear someone trying to put a shiny gloss on prejudice."
Amen to that. There's this belief - or maybe it's just wishful thinking - on the part of some of our more naive fellow citizens that racism and meanness have been relegated to the dustbin of history. Even a casual glance around us says otherwise.
WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE!
VIVA FIDEL!
(One of the best things I experienced when my kids were small, was an "international" buffet fundraiser at the school. Students from each class from K - 5 were assigned a country to research. They created posters, made flags, gave presentations during the lunch periods, invited speakers, performed music and dances from their country. At the end of the month-long project, flyers were sent home requesting foods of all ethnicity. There were tables set up for each country -- which the students decorated with their posters and flags -- and all the moms and dads got to show off their culinary skills by bringing in such AMAZING food!! The tables groaned with egg rolls and spring rolls, German kraut and apples, chili and tamales....it was just overwhelming. The school made money by selling tickets (one ticket per menu item) and there was also a raffle at the same event. The kids had a blast and the best thing was seeing the parents who are typically marginalized (those who cannot be a room mom/dad, or become an active PTA member or go on field trips) be present and acknowledged by bringing in a tray of tamales.
O'Really, many thanks...
Lezlie, it's true. The word no longer fits. I like your mosquitoes example. xo
clay, we seem afraid to talk or else our talking is not real or deep enough. I think we gloss over things with kids because racism is messy and complicated.
Romantic, I really appreciate you reading and commenting.
femme, it should make sensible people crazy. It reminds me of the Sly and the Family Stone song~ Everyday People: "There is the yellow one that won't accept the black one that won't accept the red one that won't accept the white one..."
Linda, of course it has to begin at home. But since kids are in school for 8+ hours a day, we have a huge responsibility.
Sarah, thanks so much.
I've done a couple things in classes that worked with teens and adults. Both began with people just telling their stories of being treated poorly for various reasons, age, race, class issues. It ended up with an attempt to connect your pain with my pain and emphasizing "do unto others. " Any great kids books out there about appreciating every person?
I tolerate temperature changes, tolerate noise when kids are around, tolerate my mom's forgetfulness. I also enjoy diversity, embrace differences, thrill to learn a new language or culture or tradition. I can't say i am happy about noise, or freezing temps, or approaching dementia.
But, I love to hear the heart in your words, and I hope your passion will sway the outcome.
Its on the internet if anybody wants to see it
R
Let's just go with respect. When you respect others you will find no need for "tolerance" or any of its relatives; and arrogance will die a natural death. It's about time anyway. Long past time.....