It might be OK.

So I went to my first post-Barry Giants game Friday night . I don't count Opening Day, which had bunting and a reunion of the 1958 Giants -- it's 50 years in SF, baby! --  and which they lost.  It was a little depressing at first on Friday -- not really because of no Barry, but because it was Dusty Baker's first trip back in a Cincinnati Reds uniform, and few fans seemed to notice. After Dusty was fired in 2002 (the shame of San Francisco) hundreds of people used to turn out for his games with the Cubs, waiting for him above the visitors' dugout. As I waited there with my daughter I realized, hell, it's been SIX YEARS since he left. Ouch. And everyone's over it but me! I felt better after he came out and talked to us, but it was still a little sad.

Also sad was walking out to the arcade section in right field and looking out at McCovey Cove mid-game. It used to be crowded with boats and kayaks waiting for Barry's splash hits; now it was black and silent. (Digression: Back in the day, when a home run was hit anywhere towards the cove, pranksters would toss a well timed fake baseball into the water and let the kayakers dive in after it. I loved that) When I look back on how I got through 2000 to 2002, the days of the Bush-Gore election, 9/11, the dot-com meltdown, Salon layoffs,  the run up to the Iraq war, it's now clear to me: I was self-medicating with baseball. Those were some awesome teams.

But that's long past. The Giants have been awful since 2003. We've endured sub-standard baseball, the slow-motion steroid scandal, and now Bonds is finally gone. I might be the only one in San Francisco who finds that sad (though I think the Giants did the right thing) -- those were the best years of my baseball fandom, '93 to 2002, and I'll always be grateful. And let's face it, the Giants aren't good this year, either; it's not as though they took Bonds' salary and replaced him with a superstar. Everyone picked them to finish last in the NL West.

They were good Friday night, though. Maybe I'll get into this team. Great young pitching -- Jonathan Sanchez had a 2-hit shutout going into the 9th, and they won 3-1 -- and guys like Eugenio Velez and Fred Lewis flying around the bases. It is still the most beautiful park in baseball. And they won 3 in a row. I'll take it.

They lost Saturday night, but they fought back to 10-9, getting 3 runs in the 9th, and it was crazy exciting. Because I've developed reasonable expectations, I was OK with the loss. And I didn't mind seeing Dusty Baker come out for the victory high fives, either. I'm going to have to learn how to love this team again, but maybe it's possible. I'll keep you posted.