On October 3, 2008, the worst happened.
My husband, known here on OS as "The Man" forgot our anniversary.
I know.
He's hot.
He's the washer of dishes, the bringer of bacon, the payer of bills, the love of my life, even the father of a couple of my children.
But he's also The Anniversary Forgetter.
I did not scream. I did not yell.
God made him beautiful, so I did not chop him into little pieces and feed him to the dog.
Vicious Dog.
Yet, the world was sad and dark.
Stellaa asked to see my kitchen table.
This was my chance. I would publicly shame The Man.
I showed The World (OS) this photo:
The Man was greatly ashamed.
Not only had he failed to recognize the joyous celebration of our union, but I had shown the world the sad conditions a genius writer such as myself had to work under.
Kind, charitable people were offering garage dwelling chairs.
A collection was proposed.
Wheels inside the ManBrain turned.
There was a faint smell of smoke.
Then, yesterday, The Man came home from work with a very large, very pink, WRAPPED gift.
(Gifts are not usually wrapped in the Kasten home. This was a momentous occasion, indeed.)
I tore off the very pink paper and lookit!
Here's what it looks like in the Magic Place where the air and quiet live:
Now these children don't have to live in a broken home:
And you helped!
So, air your grievances here on OS.
The marriage you save may be your own!
P.S. I know you read this, mister! My birthday is coming!!!
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Ryan Soberg
Colony of Losers
astrid.in.lala.land
franishnonspeaker
Linnnn
vanessa seijo
Salon.com
Comments
YAY KERRY!
Everyone loves mouseover snark.
BTW, the love of my life forgot our anniversary this year also. Which is really weird because it's 2 days before his birthday.
So disappointed. But congratulations on your saved marriage. He does look like a keeper, that one.
Fun post, Jodi. Enjoy your anniversary present!
Why can't we all just get along?
I see that good looks are the norm in your universe. Beautiful lady, handsome man, gorgeous children. Yeah, I know, "lookism" sucks. But when they're hot, they're hot, and I feel we should acknowledge it.
Good work, Jodi. The Man came through in a big way. You give new meaning to the phrase, "sitting pretty," now, dontcha?
Congratulations on the chair, the man, and the anniversary. Mine was Oct. 2 and went by with a mutually-agreed low-key candles and pizza celebration. Your children are adorable beyond words. But they don't do mouseovers for me. That's okay by me.
My own dh appreciated the public forgiveness on OS for the yellow suit of years back.
Peanut & Pea - Hold onto your ass, I'm here all week.
Leigh - See the end of this comment. I can't go leaving you mouseover impaired people out.
Gary - Bratty! And don't you forget it, buster! Bwah!
Lisa - A disclaimer: This method of marital relations may not work on all people who possess ManBits. But it never hurts to try.
Da Suze - You're only saying that to get into my pants. I'll post a picture of me with no makeup on sometime and you'll all run under your refrigerators. However, I agree that the dog is stunning.
Marple - Favorite EVER?!? Just for that, I'm BlogPimping© you. Your post yesterday made me laugh harder than any video posted here. EVER. Everyone go watch the second video, Hey There, Sarah Palin it is, proverbially, The Shit. Then comment, rate & appreciate because I told you to. Don't make me post about you.
Photo Translation for the MouseOver Impaired:
Phoenix - "The Culprit"
Schnitzel the Wonder Doxie - "Patiently waiting to eat the big guy."
Old Crappy Chair - "World, sad & dark. See?"
Pink Prizzle - "Hurray!"
Awesome Uber-Chair - "Daylight!"
Girl Child - "Happy Pooker"
Boy Child - "Happy Pudge"
Be excellent to each other.
Party On.
Mwahahahahahaaa!
(I can't throw anything away. Help me.)
I have the greatest faith that my beautiful saga of a comment, along with those of my adoring friends will return soon.
Very, very soon.
Until then, let's adore the restored 24 hour ranking row again.
Oooo! Ahhhh! Ohhhh! Bitchin'!
(The comment I speak of contains a translation of the mouseover nonsense. I want it back. I love it. It's snazzy.)
Steph - When I think of the things that must cause the majority of marriages in this country to fail, my first thought is... office chairs.
Lps - Yellow suit? I don't remember this. Oh, DO go on... (Linkification would be greatly appreciated)
Liz - Well, I'm no Karl Rove.
::`~~~`::`~~~`::`~~~`::`~~~`::`~~~`::`~~~`::`~~~`::`~~~`::
small parade for the hard workin' folks upstairs, gettin' the comments kosherfied
I'm the one who forgets dates (for the first few years (7rs in now) I kept remember our anniversary as the day before it actually was. Since that was the date I wanted but didn't get, I don't know why he didn't understand that. :-)
What I couldn't handle was having two jars of honey, one from Salisbury Plain and one from Scotland, wrapped and sitting on the table with a card, then seeing the deer-caught-in-the-headlights look followed by, "Why are you giving me presents?"
It's not like I didn't give him a chance. I called my mother the night before, right in front of him, to thank her for the card she sent us.
THEN that morning, that very morning, I asked what he wanted for dinner. He said, "Bertoli". I said, "That's not really special enough, is it?"
It's not like there were no clues. Not to mention the GIANT RED LETTERS screaming, "Our 4th Anniversary!" on the CALENDAR hanging on the side of the refrigerator over the trash can.
If he wasn't so splendiferous the other 364 days out of the year...
He redeemed himself with the chair though.
I applaud your admirable restraint. The dog is obviously worthy. But your strategy certainly paid off: in the pink!
Also: "Until then, let's adore the restored 24 hour ranking row again.
Oooo! Ahhhh! Ohhhh! Bitchin'!"
Have you been lobbying for this, too? Yesterday, I did a not very subtle second, third, fourth and fifth request on my last post -- showing how to do color in OS posts.
Kids are adorable, new chair is great -- love the red. Just an odd question -- do you keep your laptop in your screened room? Or, is that glassed in?
Kids are darling, love the red --never let the husband get into bad habits, as they only get worse. You have it all now!
Now, as to the beloved 24 hour rated -- I have been lobbying for that since the weekend. Just in time for MY posts to be too old...;)
Anyway, I hope they keep it -- we can see what is new much easier that way -- Thanks, Kerry, Thomas and Joan -- my long begging is over!
It does not suck to be you, however. That chair is the bomb! I want one!
In orange.
L - Comments have reappeared. I think we may be to blame for the hosification of OS, if that's what they were doing when the bomb hit.
Yes, mouseover snark is achieved by putting text in the title line.
The porch is only screened in, but the laptop comes inside to dry out and be cleaned, occasionally, since I live in the f'ing rainforest.
Sorry I can't respond to everyone tonight. The Man demands I actually talk to him. He deserves it. ;)
So please let me talk to your husband, man-to-man.
Forgetting your anniversary is not a little thing; it is a VERY BIG thing.
It is selfish and ungrateful.
It requires serious self-examination.
It means you need to grow up.
It cannot be explained or excused, so don’t try.
If your wife does forgive you, be grateful for your undeserved grace.
Forgetting your anniversary is not a little thing; it is a VERY BIG thing.
It is selfish and ungrateful.
It requires a serious self-examination.
It means you need to grow up.
It cannot be explained or excused, so don’t try.
If your wife does forgive you, it isn't because of something you gave her -- it is something that she gives to you. Be grateful for your undeserved grace.
Our anniversary is the Saturday after Thanksgiving. No, I'm not kidding. Just ask my husband.
We got married 11/25/00, which was--you guess it--the Saturday after Thanksgiving. He wanted to get married in '00 so he would be easily able to remember how many years we've been married. He does not remember how many years we've been married. He does not remember the date we got married. He got it engraved on our wedding rings and still does not remember our anniversary.
I am resigned. Our anniversary is officially the Saturday after Thanksgiving. :)
He died at age 51. Kinda puts some of those little complaints into perspective, yes?