The day after Halloween I went to Walmart.
The Man and I do this every year because, as you’ve seen from photos of my house, Halloween is not a holiday, it’s a decorating style. Everything is 75% off. It’s usually a veritable utopia of Halloweenity. We moved to the aisle which held the decorations just a few days before. Halloween had been banished. It was officially Christmas.
Not post-Halloween.
Not Thanksgiving.
Christmas.
Now, I completely admit, I love Christmas. It is my goth-shame, much like my disturbing affection for DisneyWorld. The only thing better than Disney and Christmas is Disney AT Christmastime.
So, be warned.
This is the best Christmas song. Ever.
In the pleasant post-coital haze of Obama’s huge win, you may not have left the house yet to witness this phenomenon. But let me assure you, folks. It is now officially Christmas.
Of course, I absolutely detest the cheapening of one of my favorite holidays by extending it longer than some seasons of Heroes. But, I am an accepting individual. So, I’m going to take this opportunity to give The Man a head start. He tends to be a procrastinator, so I’m going to make my Christmas list right here and now:
Now that we have all the goodwill and decency out of the way, we’ll begin.
*A copy of Mademoiselle – August 1953.
*A giant white cotton nightgown like this:
(and the Giselle body would be great, too.)
*A three day weekend at the Ponte Vedra Inn and Resort with full spa services and room service.
Alone.
*A dinner together which does not include screaming my order into the clown’s mouth
*Gale Harold (the Queer as Folk version, not the Desperate Housewives version)
*Tickets (plane and venue) to the Glastonbury Festival next June
It would be nice if I could take a few friends.
*An anatomically correct blow up doll of Rob St. Amant. I think I need to point my brain lust at an inanimate object before he gets a restraining order.
* I WANNA SEE MIKA!!!
Of course, I already got one of the best gifts of all early…
So, that’s it. Pretty reasonable, if you ask me. Of course, others are welcome to contribute to Jodi’s LONGEST CHRISTMAS EVER© celebration.
If this list overwhelms you, just remember… it’s not about gifts or presents, cards or decorations. It’s about a baby. A baby that grew up and tried to save the world. His birthday is an opportunity to tell the people we love how much they mean to us. Everything else is just an exchange of goods. (And a few services… if you know what I mean.)
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Ryan Soberg
Colony of Losers
astrid.in.lala.land
franishnonspeaker
Linnnn
vanessa seijo
Salon.com
Comments
Oh, and our bumpity bump bump bump quotacular for the day:
"Life is like a box of chocolates...a cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. You're stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while, there's a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee. But they're gone too fast, and the taste is fleeting. So you end up with broken bits, filled with hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts, and if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is a...is an empty box...filled with useless, brown paper wrappers."
--CSM, "The X-Files"
I was in Wal-Mart today and the Christmas music was even playing! And I was singing along! ACK...
Anyway, your list is fabulous. I should make my own, although nothing but the books would actually be remembered :(.
I am not sure what the Saint is going to think about the blow up doll idea and the entire blow up doll topic brings to mind a horrible blow up doll incident on a Navy ship, but that is a story for another time and probably another place than OS. Wasn't the Saint also a DILF not so long ago? It is hard to be a lust object.
(rated)
I would like to state that I have the highest respect for Mr. St. Amant. (And his lovely wife) But, I knew this would make my husband laugh because he says Rob is my "work husband" on OS. Honestly, I was seriously considering Marco because he blushes en Espanol.
And the Coke commericals.
I should have put the "I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke" song in there...
Funny, Jodi.