My Most Controversial Post Ever (Foodie Tuesday)
I have often been accused of defending some of the most vile things in the world - Wal-Mart, racist costumes... once, I even appeared to defend men! (What the hell was I thinking?)
It should come as no surprise that I've decided to throw caution to the wind yet again. After all, today's subject may be the most maligned food in America.
The Twinkie.
Tales of the indefinite shelf life of the Twinkie have been highly exaggerated. Twinkies actually only have a shelf life of 25 days, according to the Hostess Company, maker of the sweet treat. The cakes last much longer than the average baked good only because they do not contain dairy ingredients, not because they have been injected with radioactive crystals or preserved with cream of formaldehyde.
Not convinced that you should go ahead and break into that box yet? A Twinkie only contains 150 calories – less than two 100 calorie “diet” snack cakes. Sure, there's 17% of your daily recommended saturated fat, but just 40 or so BAKED Tostitos Scoops chips have 15%. I'm guessing you're not scooping non-caloric air with those, either. We TRY to do the right thing, but the cards are stacked against us.
Personally, I think that's why America has a weight problem. We try to consume healthy foods, but a can of Coke is 150 calories while 12 oz. of apple juice is 165. We think that a handful of "diet" cookies must be better than a Twinkie, then we consume twice the calories.
We live in an upside-down world where a cup of candy corn has fewer calories than a cup of raisins. An Egg McMuffin from McDonalds has 300 calories, while the plain whole grain bagel from Panera has 370. You do eat it plain, right?
No, you shouldn't eat a Twinkie every day, but maybe it's time we started looking at what we think is healthy in comparison to what we think is "evil". We're living in a world where a glass of apple juice and a whole wheat bagel have more calories than a can of coke washing down a McMuffin. Twinkies start to look a little better with that in mind.
Of course, you may still be looking for a way to get rid of the surplus Twinkies you thought you could save until the Apocalypse.
If you REALLY don't want to eat them, remember that Twinkies only take 45 seconds to explode in the microwave.
Images:
Twinkie - wordpress.com
TwinkieHenge Image: food2.com
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tgwalker
Philip Rodgers
Tiger Sonora
Karin Greenberg
Frank K. Sonnenberg
BOKO
Salon.com
Comments
Rated
You have me rethinking my whining children's request for "something that comes in a little package, like something sweet or something" for their school snack. Are you telling me the teacher will be totally off base in thinking I am a neglectful parent if I pack them a twinkie? What am I going to do with my lifetime supply of whole wheat pretzels?
Harvey - Did you know that the filling used to be banana flavored?
mamoore - Just print off a copy of this blog and tape it to the lunch bag. It may not keep you from having CPS after you, but at least they will know who to blame.
When I moved back to New York City last year, I found that restaurant chains must post the calories of all their products. Imagine how shocked I was that a Dunkin' Donuts Coffee Roll had on 350 calories, while a low fat Muffin had over 475 calories. Rated.
I guess the real question, now, is - do you support equal rights for Twinkies? And if so - WHY DO YOU HATE WOMEN ... WHAT ABOUT DOLLY MADISON AND LITTLE DEBBIE!!! You should be burned at the stake for your inhumane attitudes. TWINKIES??? And what about a Twinkie's Right to CHOOSE to be Deep Fried or not? Where do you stand on that? MY GOD
1_Irritating_BFF - That's not funny. Twinkies killed my mother and raped my father.
Don't you think that Twinkies are kind of phallic? That they're part of the patriarchal oppression of girls and women in that they teach us how to suck the cream up through the top without bruising the tender cake?
What would Freud have to say about your defense of the Twinkie?
:)
FLW - I think you're RIGHT! "SnoBall" - well... I won't go into what a SnoBall is in the sexual realm... "HoHOs!" "DING DONGS?!?" Dear GOD what have I DONE?!?
Kathy, I second that. Where is Freaky Troll and where is Surly too? Surly, you love to leave me comments about my need to eat a Twinkie and stop starving already. You are so right. I am going to indulge this very moment.
I love the Twinkie Stonehenge. It looks so much like the real deal.
Hope
Am now feeling guilty while I suck down my coffee with a slice of home made pumpkin bread! No comparision, however, it is not a diet-wise choice to start off my day......but it sure tastes good with my coffee! Fun post, Jodi!
And then I'd have to call Suzanne Somers to save me.
Just Cathy - Homemade stuff has little spirit sponges that suck up things like polymers and carcinogens. Eat hearty!
High Lonesome - Mmm... creamy holes....
ocular - That would be Hostess Cakes - 1-800-483-7253. Aren't I helpful?
bbd - You people have officially made Twinkies into a sex object. Yay society!
Ralph - I do secretly suspect that Twinkies are blessed by Jesus. That's why they stay fresh.
WSFTC - Live a little. Try them on the cat first.
For 2 weeks, I stuffed myself 3 times a day at the ashram. I was eating easily 4 x the calories I normally do, and not doing 4x the work. And I lost 5 pounds. The food was all grains, legumes, veges, tofu etc. With the exception of one amazing Thanksgiving dinner complete with real turkey, stuffing, gravy, pumpkin pie and whipped cream. Yeah!!!
Of course, removing that half bottle of wine (did I say half?) from my daily diet probably had more to do with it than anything.
It is about balance. And you are right, we should not fear the Twinky or even its phallic imagery. The diet industry has so warped the consumer's view of food that we need a massive reeducation program just to learn the basics. Your kids will learn to cook from you, but too many of them really think that MacDonalds is a viable meal plan for life.
Food shouldn't be this much work. Grow it, cook it, eat it. And throw in a Twinky now and then for good measure.
(this seems like a long answer for a Twinky post)
Rated!
I avoid all sweets made with corn syrup which believe me eliminates a lot of pretty tasty stuff. When you check ingredients, note how many items now have not only corn syrup but two or three or more different kinds of corn syrups and other sweeteners. too much corn syrup can turn a healthy metabolism on it's ear. if you have diabetes in the family, you want to avoid CS like the plague.
there are a lot of people who believe corn syrup is the primary cause of the outrageously high levels of diabetes in this country, particularly among kids...I'm among them.
the stonehenge is marvelous...I love the little sacrificial person in the middle... early gumby. they'd probably already sacrificed and eaten pokey.
JK - 99% of my food posts here are about just that - making your own food. The point of this is to start a conversation, which I think the length of your reply bears out. Ha! Of course the dang things are horrible for you, but I think we need to look at what else isn't that great for us either.
Torman - Nope. No shame. None.
NFDM - I think we should outlaw the shit, but that's from a person who pays $18 for a case of non-HFCS Coke. Mmm... Mexicoke!
In a world where serving sizes were normal, though, this would not be the case. A serving size of apple juice is 6-8 ounces at most, and most of those monstrous bagels are actually at least 2 servings of bread.
But, I get what you're saying.
Jeanette - That's the sad thing about the Coke, ounce for ounce it has fewer calories than the juice. I react violently to that fact. Portion size is a big issue, but I think that many people really do try to do the right thing, especially when eating out. People give up because they feel guilty rather than impowered. Culturally, we give out pain and guilt rather than easily available information and accountablity in labeling. It's cheaper.
Good gravy.
Just give me a good smack to reset the hard drive.
(I've got a BS in Nutrition and Dietetics, although I don't work in that field, and it never ceases to amaze me how poorly educated most people are when it comes to food.)
Years later, I tried another Twinkie, hoping to recreate my childhood, but it simply did not taste REAL! Nothing like I remembered. Do you think it's me? or the Twinkie? Anyhow, I could never eat another...but I might try blowing them up in the microwave! That rocks!
MMcK - Everything tasted better before New Coke. It's a proven fact that the introduction of that heinous substance ushered in the deadening of the American tastebud.
They took us to the Krispy Kreme factory. I count that as my first sexual experience.
Having said that, isn't it also about the nutrients you are taking in with your calories? The 165 calories in apple juice is taken in along with vitaimins so they're more "worthwhile" than the 150 "empty" calories in Coke. The whole wheat bagle contains fibre, etc., that work for you along with the calories.
I may be wrong, but my impression is that the Twinkie and Coke offer little else but the sugar, fat and caffeine.
Lastly, I agree with the people who say the general public makes diet too complicated. Eat more vegetable and fruit, less meat and fat, and exercise every day. Let the positive overwhelm the negative and you're bound to be OK having an occasional Twinkie or Ding Dong.
AHP - I lurve TwinkieHenge too!
ruicanuck - Absolutely it is. I think that goes without saying. This particular piece is about calorie comparisions and, for the love of all that is good and holy, I am not saying that Twinkies are good for you.
65 - We all should have our pleasures.
Tom - That might just be worth it!
Gordon - Seriously. It's not about the f'ing Twinkies. It's about paying attention to the actual facts of what we're eating. Sheesh. I don't begrudge anyone their pleasures. If you like Twinkies, eat one, enjoy it and move on. Fill in the blank with doughnuts, truffle oil, cream puffs, filet mignon... it doesn't matter. It's about mindful eating without guilt but with proper information.
Walk Away - I love you, too. Could you at least Walk Away Satisfied? Mildly Amused? The blankness is unsettling.
Rated.
Hey did you know they have Twinkie recipes?!
But pie - that's a different story altogether. Don't get me started about the genius, the culinary ecstasy of the full spectrum of the pie family. I'll weigh 300 pounds before you know it.
It is sad that society has more knowedge about calories than it does about where our food actually comes from. I mean really, this is the basics...air, water, food to sustain life. In that order. When did it become smoke, coffee and twinky? And do not get me started on drive throughs. See, I am not swayed from the topic at hand by the mere mention of a twinky. I am with you on this Jodi.
Ho-hos still taste the same, I find.
Please people, if you are going to drink soda, try to find some without high fructose corn syrup. If only because it tastes a LOT better. Blue Sky cola is good. For all I know it is owned by Coke. I hope not.
Really? Damn....
[puts Twinkie back on shelf]
"REALLY?"
"Really."
"really."
It has to be said that a whole grain bagel has nutrients that a Twinkie doesn't?
Really?
::sigh::
The problem here is that people don't read the box, or if they do, they read it incorrectly. A single Twinkie will not kill you, but don't be mystified when you eat a whole grain bagel with low-fat cream cheese every morning and still gain weight. You may be pooing like a champ and have a shiny coat, but you're ingesting around 500 calories before anything else like coffee (a food group unto itself in my opinion) or the infamous juice.
I do these sneaky little things to make folks think, not to expand the sale numbers of the Hostess company.
Carry on, folks.
Hope
Seriously, twinkies are the world's greatest food product. Sponge cake with a cream filling and no nutritional value whatsoever.
Preservatives made this country great.
Have you seen them deep fried at your local state fair? Looks just like a corn dog!
Seriously...There is a lot of fear around food these days - much of it misplaced (and contradictory...fat is the devil, no wait, carbs are the devil....), but it isn't keeping people from eating. It's just probably giving people a guilt trip on top of whatever else they are burdened with causing them to eat more of anything and everything - good food or evil food.
But, I can tell my wife it's a sort-of-not-really-in-perspective healthier treat, right?
It's worth a shot....
Rated.
Food is not evil, people! It's good and good for us, and everyone gets to choose for themselves what they want to eat.
That said, I will tell you that I have a recipe for homemade Twinkies.
::droooool!::
Wash those down with some RC cola... hell yeah!
Phillyart - I'm totally with you. I love those little butterscotch krumpet thingies. I was born in Woodbury, NJ and we used to bring home suitcases full of Tastykakes before we could get them here in Florida! My Nana packed them into Christmas boxes!
-Nikki-
I just had me a nice 100-calorie pack of Whoppers.
Delicitude!
Malty crunchtacular numminess!
I'm in big trouble tonight. I know this.
As a fellow SAHM, I'm sure you have spent countless hours having coffee/lunch with the PTO moms and experienced the unique female phenomenon of having what you or others are eating discussed: "Oh my I haven't had bread in 20 years" or "Do you know how much fat is in salad dressing" or my fave "I already ate" said at lunch when clearly this is a lie. I am bringing a Twinkie with me to the next gathering, throwing it down on the table and will watch with glee as the fainting begins...
You can't win for losing. :)
Not that you need Twinkies to gain a voluminous torso, as I have spent a lifetime proving. Beer and potato crisps will do.
(rated)
I once read a piece by a food chemist (I think this was her title, I'm sure it's changed). One of her jobs was to reduce the cost of the Twinkie. She couldn't eat another twinkie for years and when she did, she noted that they'd found a far more ruthless chemist than her. She'd left the twinkie as a light sponge cake with a vanilla filling.
I haven't had a Twinkie in probably 30 years. My memories of them don't tempt me.
Jodi, you never shrink (wrap) from the good fight. Rated, for indestructible goodness. And I suspect the Hostess Company might be downplaying that aspect of their product.
SHOCKED!!!
I had a huge learning experience when I did a low carb diet for about 9 months. No simple carbs, period, lots of protein and fat (unlimited), veggies, small servings of some lower-carb fruits (mostly berries), no fruit juice (which is indeed high on the glycemic index and other measures).
Not only did I drop weight easily (while eating bacon, crab legs with butter and the like) but I lost my appetite completely, which was unprecedented for me other than brief bouts of illness or heartbreak. I had to force myself to eat, although I did enjoy food when I ate it. So I became convinced of the claim (that I'd was silly before) that simple carbs drive our appetite, always pushing us to consume more and more. When that "more" is simple carbs, it's an endless cycle. One that most Americans are on.
So it's not just that Twinkie but what that Twinkie pushes you to eat an hour or two later.....
Your post inspired me (pretty much an avowed health nut) to buy and eat an orange flavored hostess cupcake last night.
Not like it used to be.
-Jon
OK. OK. I'll go back to the corner and finish my coffee. :-)
Your first photo made me salivate immediately. Move over dog of Pavlov. It's my turn. And the second one with the clay figure resting in the middle of the ... of the ... brain fart. I can't think of the name -- it's halfway here and then pop! All gone. STONEHENGE! Whew, I got it. Can put off Alzheimer's for another day. (Geeze. I just saw it below on Kathy's comment.) Actually I said HEDGESTONE and am glad I caught Kathy before sending this. Alzheimer's is back on the front burner. Sheesh.
You are my kind of writer! Rated and faved!