Texas Top 10 Ten Reasons this Texan Doesn't Want Texas to Secede from the United States
Ruminations on San Jacinto Day

Happy San Jacinto Day, y'all. This is the 173rd anniversary of the defeat of Mexican General Santa Anna by Texas Forces at San Jacinto, an outpost just east of what is now downtown Houston. An obelisk marking the site  of the battle  can be  seen from Interstate 10. Oh yeah, in true capitalist fashion, there  is a mall nearby named for the battleground. Great place  to buy trinkets. The victory firmly established the Republic of Texas  (it had officially declared its independence from Mexico the previous March 2 at Washington on the  Brazos), a nation that lasted a whopping 9 years  before throwing in its lot with the United States in 1845 by way of the Treaty of 1844 and a Joint  Resolution pushed through Congress by the expansionist President James  K. Polk.

The notion of returning to that 1836-1845 heyday and re-establishing the Republic of Texas is a wonderful fantasy that  stirs the imagination and out sized  sense of pride harbored by most Texans. Texas, equally to outsiders as to Texans themselves, is as much a myth as it is a geographical locale. It is  a twisted promise land for the eccentric, the  outlaw, the gamblers, the insanely macho, the fiercely independent, and of course, people with no other place to go. What other  state could produce a beautiful freak like  Howard Hughes or the unbridled, take no prisoners greed of  Enron?

There has been much talk of Texas secession lately, mainly from a rather desperate Governor who appears to be politically on his last legs. Let's get  one thing straight: Texans do not need nor want to secede from the union and form "The Republic." In their hearts, "The Republic" already exists, and always will. It certainly exists in mine, and in my family's. I always leave the office  early on March 2nd, and shoot  emails to everyone I know, wishing them a "Happy Texas Independence Day."

So why try to manifest "The Republic" again and screw up a good thing? We had our nine years, not to mention the few mistaken years in the Confederacy. That was enough, thank you. 

The Republic of Texas- let it be Oz, Atlantis, Narnia, or any other storybook place. It exists in the aggregate imagination of the world, not on maps- and it should remain that way.

Then there is the practical side of remaining in the  union. In honor of that,  I present:

TEN REASONS THIS TEXAN DOES NOT WANT TO SECEDE

1. Traveling from Austin to my other favorite cities like Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, and Tucson would  become a pain. Having to go through customs is  never fun.

2. Having a national border, rather than a mere state border  between the Republic and the  rest of the United States may  actually block some of the bad vibes  that Texans and  yankees love blasting at each other. Texas would be  in danger of either being forgotten or  actually respected. Either way, being Texan wouldn't be  that  fun anymore.

3. Getting in and out of Austin would be much more  difficult for yankees (pesky customs again) coming down for Austin City Limits Festival, South by Southwest, to swim in Barton Springs, ride horses in the Hill Country, eat some Tex-Mex, or do whatever they do down here. We really need  to keep those dollars flowing unimpeded into Austin.

4.  All the smart yankees  who move  to  Austin to start   businesses, bands, or whatever freakish creative project, would  have to get visas or apply for citizenship. It would make  starting and  doing  their thing here in the heart of Texas a bit harder for those folks. Native Texan Michael Dell, seeing  his  company's market share decrease because of price increases, would probably pick up and move from Austin along with Motorola, IBM, TI, and  all the other tech firms in Central Texas. Throw in all the corporate headquarters in Dallas,  Houston, El Paso, and other Texas cities and it's - Hello brain-drain!

5. Austin needs the yankees to  help preserve the fragile ecology here  that the rest of  Texas, especially legislators from outside Central Texas, just doesn't get. Getting their  ideas, money, and support across an international border would become much more difficult.

6.  Looking at Texas' regressive Tax structure, we would be majorly f'd without U.S. Federal dollars. A lot of pockets of Texas are close enough to Third-World as it is.

7. I don't want to be to the U.S. what Georgia or Ukraine or Chechnya are  to Russia. If you think  customs  really stinks, try hails of bullets, having your supply pipelines shutdown,  and tanks rolling into town.

8. Resources. We ain't got  enough. Sure.  We've got oil, but you can't drink it. There's a lot of stuff we need now or will need in the future from the yankees, like say, oh, water. Plus- Texas  Oranges?  You might get a good one every 5  years. I could not live without oranges or grapes  from CA. They'd  get really expensive crossing national borders. Can you grow a Ranier Cherry in Texas? Didn't think so.

9. Texans have made a lot of  inroads in regards  to  government  openness since the internet boom. However, I'm afraid that would all change as a nation. Texas would become so corrupt politically that Zimbabwe would look like a poster child for  stability. The Texas Judiciary is a scary joke as it is. I don't  want to  imagine what is would become in a Texas Republic. Texans need  U.S. Federal Laws to prevent a tyrranical government from taking root. Case in point- Judge Sharon Keller.

10. This whole American experiment ain't too bad. Hey, this latest President Obama thing is pretty cool. I would  like to stick around and see how that goes.