In honor of St. Valentine’s Day the following is a tribute to the kiss.  A kiss, the simple act of pressing one’s lips onto the lips (or other body part) of another.  An act which has brought boundless human pleasure and an equal amount of human misery.

 

 

   

                        Which way to turn

 

***   2 /3 of  people turn their head to the right when they kiss.

 

The other 1/3 keep bumping their nose with people who turn their head to the right.

 

 

 

  

                        The French

 

***   French people call the “French Kiss” the “English Kiss.”  The French call french fries, pommes frites. 

 

Apparently the French don’t want to take responsibility for anything.

 

 

 

  

                        The butterfly kiss

 

***   Approx 2.5 million butterflys are killed each year by people trying to kiss them. 

 

Maybe you’re doing it wrong.

 

 

  

                        That Hussy

 

***   The average woman kisses 29 men before she marries.

 

 No, not on the day she marries.  I mean like total.

 

 

  

                        Don’t eat yellow snow

  

***   Eskimos rub their noses together instead of kissing.

 

Which, coupled with something else they do wrong, may explain why there are so few Eskimos.

 

 

 

  

                        “Just One Kiss”

 

***   One little kiss burns 3 calories. 

 

So, if you kiss two people and they each kiss two people and they kiss two people and so on.  Pretty soon you’ve burned up the calories in an entire Royale with cheese.

 

 

  

                        The forgotten Marx brother

  

***   When caught kissing someone he should not have been, Chico Marx explained, “I wasn’t kissing her.  I was whispering into her mouth.” 

 

It didn’t work for him either.

 

 

 

  

                        KISS, the band

  

***The story behind how the band Kiss got their name is incredibly boring.

  

                                    HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY