I am responding to Ann’s open call in the form of a list. I know there are several people on OS that absolutely hate lists and although I’m unsure of their reasoning, I respect their right to hate this one as well.  However, for me to try to convey in narrative form, the massive tome that would result from my fatal flaws list, I would surely overpower all of the Kindles in all of the coffee houses in all of the world.  You see, not only is the list of my flaws long and varied, but I have seldom been accused of being concise.  My sentences tend to run on and on and my paragraphs often seem more like unintentional free verse poetry than breviloquent prose; twisting and turning, writhing and wriggling like a python around an exotic dancer.

So, therefore, a list it shall be my friends; clear, concise, brief, no nonsense, to the point, without need of excessive or extravagant explanation, sans the baggage of superfluous verbiage or inordinate oratory.  Nope, no redundant, boilerplate hyperbole from me this time around, good people.  All you’re going to find here is a skillful surgeon’s scalpel of strict summation.

So, without further ado, or fanfare, or introduction, or ballyhoo, here begins............drum roll, please..........................my list of fatal flaws.

1                      I tend to get “wordy.”

2                      I am, like politicians everywhere, enamored by the sound of my own voice.  I, therefore, often talk to myself. (I know that’s really two flaws in one but rather than thinking of it as a error, consider it something akin to a sale on flaws)

3                      I have something in common with John Boehner; he and I both tear up over sappy stuff.  In fact, my eyes moisten every time I see him cry.

4                      I love, and have watched several times, every Kevin Costner movie ever made. Yes, especially Water World.

5                      I do not know how to play Angry Birds.

6                      I sometimes adhere to the old adage; never do today that which can be put off until tomorrow.  Which is why my barn is a tangible, yet unrequited, manifestation of reeeeally good ideas.

7                      I believe that, sometimes, “good enough” is good enough.

8                      I believe in ghosts, angels, demons, witches and a whole host of things seen and unseen.

9                      I believe that time is money.

10                    Money talks.

11                    Talk is cheap.

12                    I am a snob about Scotch Whiskey.  I’ve never been fond of a blended scotch so Johnnie Walker is not my favorite. 

13                    I am disappointed when people don’t like me, and surprised when they do.

14                    I am a walking Trivial Pursuit cheat sheet.  I have more useless information stored in my brain than there are old bags in the Tea Party.  This is only a flaw, in that the stored information has no monetary value whatsoever.

15                    I can’t stop the music playing in my head. Maybe I’ll try an aluminum foil helmet.

16                    I have no interest in wealth.  If you think this isn’t a flaw you should ask my two ex-wives.

17                    I believe that 17 is a nice, round number and therefore a good place to end my list.