My mother died last June after a long and bitter illness.  It was not a surprise nor was it unwelcomed by most of the family as she suffered greatly and was without much of a mind during the last few months of her life.  My father, however, took her death very hard.

She was, without question, the love of his life.  From my earliest recollection of him, he always treated her as a princess.  She wanted for nothing.  He waited on her unswervingly.  He never raised his voice to her and no argument between the two every reached my ears because he always granted her every wish.

I learned a great deal from my father about love and how to treat people, both those you know and those you don’t.  I learned the rewards of service to another; the enormous power in giving of oneself.  But, nothing I ever learned from him was more powerful than his example of devotion.

As my mother lay in her hospital bed, unaware of anything that might have happened only minutes before or anything that could conceivably happen in the future, my father was there.  For months on end, he would come to the hospital twice a day to feed her because she resisted the nurse’s efforts to do so. By the look in her eyes one could tell that, most of the time, she was unsure of exactly who he was. But, one could also tell, that in some way, she was comforted by his presence. Her feedings were lengthy and excruciating.  To feed her a small glass of nutritional drink-mix took over half an hour.  Not only did she have issues with swallowing but also often simple stubbornness kicked in and she would refuse to try.  My father, however, ever patient, coaxed and cajoled, joked and smiled until the entire mixture had been consumed.

Never did I hear him complain or in any way show that, what now had become a daily routine of twice daily trips to the hospital with lengthy stays and the trials of caring for, what essentially was, an eighty-eight year-old infant, was in any way a burden on him.  Still, he was eight-four years old with a pacemaker and diabetes, pained by the loss of his lifelong partner, and aware of the inevitable outcome of her battle with Alzheimer's. He grieved for her long before she closed her eyes for the final time.

This last February, eight months after my mother’s death, my father suffered a stroke.  He fell in his bedroom and lay there for somewhere between two to three days before he was discovered and taken to the hospital.

I flew out to California the day after I was notified and feel very fortunate that I had a chance to see him before his death the following morning. 

When I arrived, he was unable to speak and paralyzed on the left side of his body but the look in his eyes as I walked in the door let me know that he recognized me and was pleased that I was there. I held his hand and told him I loved him and that was the last time I saw him.

But, later that evening my ex-wife and one of my daughters went to the hospital to visit.  It was then that my mother’s ghost became manifest. 

My ex found my father much more responsive than I had.  He was able to communicate with her by squeezing her hand. As result, he was able to tell her that he was in pain and the nurses gave him something to make him more comfortable.

During their visit, my father kept looking past them.  At first, the two women thought that he just wasn’t able to focus his eyes.  But, then with his left hand he kept trying to point at something above and behind them.  They would look and there was only a blank wall.

Still, he was insistent.  There are convinced that he was seeing something behind them.

My ex-wife and my cousin, both equally religious as they are diverse in personality, believe he was seeing an angel or angels. As for me, I can’t say; I wasn’t there and no one who was saw anything.  But, knowing my father, my daughter and my ex-wife as I do, I’m convinced he was seeing something.  For my part, I like to think that it was my mother come to comfort him as he had so long done for her.

That my parents are somehow together, freed from the bonds of failing bodies, and able to express their love for one another without the restraint of earthly concerns is a huge comfort to me.

Believe what you will.