Johnny Noir

Johnny Noir
Location
Montclair, New Jersey, USA
Birthday
September 23
Title
pulp writer, poet, Nihilist prophet, Neo-Platonist
Company
Johnny Noir
Bio
You can buy my novels and poetry at lulu.com

MY RECENT POSTS

OCTOBER 25, 2011 1:23PM

The Sounds Of The Streets

 I felt like I was in a box, and the box felt like solid steel. I tore open another bag, cooked it up methodically and shot it into the collapsing vein. I waited for the inevitable feeling, the sunlight behind my eyes. My body walked slowly out of its living grave,Read full post »

OCTOBER 19, 2011 8:22PM

Epistle To Megan

Megan, a prophet walks the hot red sand searching for wild peyote,

The world turning inside out and upside down he doesn’t pretend to know what it’s all about as he waits for the Wall Street demonstrators to do battle with the Tea Party with pitchforks and pepper spray,… Read full post »

AUGUST 27, 2011 11:51PM

Everything Sweet & Good

2f04rro 

Some day we will all travel back in time and seduce our mothers who were odd even Before the Sons of God fell from the golden sky

Looking for something sweet and now we know

Thanks to CGI and CAD, MRI, Forensic history, forensic evolution,

Prenatal… Read full post »

JULY 13, 2011 9:35AM

Doctor Drake, Meet Rupert Murdoch

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 Murdoch greeted Drake, Sophie and Coulter outside his office and shook the doc’s hand vigorously, inviting them inside. Murdoch was a spry old coot in a turtleneck and thick glasses. He looked over Sophie and licked his lips, offering her a seat. Drake/Read full post »

Special Agents Reed and Callas had left the city and were on the New Jersey Turnpike when Callas flipped on the radio. It was an all talk station and there was a show in progress. The photographer ‘Flash’ Hobson was being interviewed by the female host, whom seemed engrossed and inquisitiRead full post »

JUNE 12, 2011 5:52PM

Kristina

When the sun came out Kristina was set afire

In her white spider filled dreams of religion,

She set off on a quest and never returned—

Too humbled, white spiders crawling up her arms,

Biting her legs until they bleed fire,

Her crystal… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MAY 23, 2011 1:24AM

Pulp Fiction In The Age Of Facebook

pulp5 

 Pulp fiction has given us some of the best writing of the 20th century: Hammett, Chandler, Spillane, and Lovecraft. Even Tennessee Williams and Faulkner admired the form. Bradbury, Hubbard, Asimov, Dick, etc. are all honored alum of classic newsstand pulp fiction. This is not writRead full post »

MAY 8, 2011 11:29PM

Cemeteryville


She was already hot and cool. She had shades on and I was looking her over to see what I could find. I was looking really hard.

 "See something you like?" she said.

 I said, "Sure," and walked over to her. I've got balls like any other/Read full post »

MAY 6, 2011 3:44PM

Sleeping On Pins

My name is John Okinawa. I’m a cop. My father was a Jap, so I guess that makes me a son of a bitch. I smoke too much, drink too much and cheat on my wife. My mistress is a junky, I have no friends and my daughter is a whore.Read full post »

APRIL 25, 2011 1:01PM

Epinoia

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Moondogs and white trash monsters,
A wife is a wife is a wife—
I want to smell the funk rising from your crusty asshole
And slap your ugly, familiar face, ugly daughter of mine—
Your twenty legs marching apace so I can’t keep up,
Gag in your mouth soRead full post »
APRIL 17, 2011 6:45AM

All Knowledge Comes With Time

All knowledge comes with time,

For one cannot know in an instant

What has taken great minds years to accrue—

Like a fat girl in fishnets with a cigarette

And a miniskirt blowing in the breeze,

Love doesn’t mean anything—

There’s enough love and ugly people

To go… Read full post »

220px-Hathor_svg  

“For he hath broken the gates of brass, and cut the bars of iron in sunder.”

Hathor, Mistress of the West rose up through the mud,
Clothed in the sun and wearing a cobra skin dress,
She worked on her father’s farm tilling the soil
And had to go the… Read full post »

MARCH 19, 2011 12:36AM

Megan Smedley

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Megan Smedley met Saint Peter barefoot in the desert,

Her toes aflame, rhymes tumbling from her mouth—

Saying Natalie Wood could pass for a Brit under a big sky,

Faceless and shy like Emma, like you, like Donatella Versace,

All the boys want you—Read full post »

MARCH 15, 2011 8:37PM

Ugly Girls

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If I could list the names of every ugly woman in the world,
It would be longer than the list of the dead and wounded
From every war since the beginning of time—
It would include some of the most desirable women in the world,
Though maybe “desirable” is the wrong word&mda… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 28, 2011 5:15PM

Russian Girl

A Russian girl’s farts smell just like her mother’s,
Old Hannah that gave birth
To seven kids back in the dessert where her ancestors wandered
Bewildered by the hot sun—
Pharaoh’s men on their backs, riding camels into the hot wind—
Old Abe coming home to the tentRead full post »
FEBRUARY 23, 2011 9:27AM

ANONYMA

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Anonyma
A mother’s feet dusty and dirty from walking barefoot in the street;
A teenage girl naked in the mirror
Stops being hot suddenly, in an instant, in the twinkling of an eye;
When chocolate stripes run down her leg like a river—
It’s painful diarrhea broRead full post »
FEBRUARY 10, 2011 12:50PM

In The Beginning Was The Word

 Altair

 

In the Beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God,
And formless and void Jesus moved over the waters
Like Barbie, male and female, like Michelangelo in a silk kimono—
Looking up her dress at her bush, her blue eyes
Read full post »
FEBRUARY 9, 2011 10:05PM

Jesus Christ's Last Words

Cristo_crucificado   
Eloi! Eloi! 

I found your earring on the ground, golden, the street paved with diamonds—
I forgot to tell you how lovely you looked
With your hair down and forgiven, but what will
Read full post »
FEBRUARY 9, 2011 7:16PM

Eloi! Eloi!

 

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Eloi! Eloi! 

I found your earring on the ground, golden, the street paved with diamonds—
I forgot to tell you how lovely you looked
With your hair down, forgiven, but what will the walkRead full post »
FEBRUARY 5, 2011 11:45AM

Pugnasty

“Of or pertaining to being nasty or disgusting.
A simple mix of pugnacious (meaning aggressive or rough) and nasty.
Only used when something is viciously gross.”
-Urban Dictionary

Time is a gamble—
It gets nasty when the bride is butt ugly and pregnant,
Time is an accident,
Don&r
Read full post »
FEBRUARY 3, 2011 5:44PM

Whom The Gods Destroy

HannibalTheCarthaginian   
Seen and destroyed like old Carthage,
Returned to dust like Roman ruins—
Greek temples have risen and long fallen,
Iraq is a wasteland, Mesopotamia a memory—
These are the “cradles” of civilization, home of the original tribe—
There is no homRead full post »
JANUARY 30, 2011 6:07PM

When A Pretty Girl Farts

blake-lively   
When a pretty girl farts it smells like perfume,
Take a big whiff before running from the room—
Tijuana Lolita ate all the chips,
She’s an ugly little flirt but I’m okay with that—

She took a beefy dump in my cupped hands—
Love made me dream oRead full post »
JANUARY 27, 2011 11:40PM

Michelle Bachman Is An Enormous Whore

michele_bachmann_1   
She’s old as dirt, killing cockroaches ‘til it hurts, cockeyed like Michelle Bachmann but not as kinky in the sack—
She’s a pagan goddess Playboy bunny and Republican to boot,
I don’t know why there’s no sun up in the sky—
Anybody IRead full post »
JANUARY 20, 2011 3:37AM

The National Chinese Puppet Theater

 323px-Falun_Gong_Logo
Tianamen_Square-Monument 
Don’t let yourselves be fooled by The National Chinese Puppet Theater,
They don’t want you to look behind the curtain to see their stingers—
The largest country on earth to evolve up from insects—
Where they eat cats and dogs and
Read full post »
JANUARY 17, 2011 6:17PM

Infinite Materialism

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Erica’s ass fills my cup as if it were the Holy Grail
And her blood flowing wine, her pheromones' meat in the dark
Like Jesus and her golden feet come walking towards me,
She’s a wonderful woman and I’m the indestructible man,
Her flaxen hair in pig-tails,Read full post »