CRIME PAYS

Johnny Noir

Johnny Noir
Location
Montclair, New Jersey, USA
Birthday
September 23
Title
pulp writer, Nihilist prophet, Neo-Platonist
Company
Johnny Noir
Bio
You can buy my novels at lulu.com

MY RECENT POSTS

JULY 27, 2010 12:11PM

from THE MAN WHO SHOT PARIS HILTON

 I ordered a steak and ate like a starving man. Nicky was looking at the food on her plate like she was trying to decide whether to eat it or if it should eat her. I got the feeling she had been through this before. When the waitress came by I/Read full post »

JULY 26, 2010 9:59PM

Belle De Tous Les Jour

 The sound of gunfire has a beauty all its own, especially when you’re the one pulling the trigger. A subtle calm washes you into a seductive abyss the polar opposite of death. I squeezed the trigger again and again, the slug perforating the cop with the lingering suspense of a kid… Read full post »

JULY 25, 2010 7:45AM

Loch In Kop (part ten)

 The late model import screeched to a stop in front of Greenberg’s storefront office. The Maserati was parked across the street an’ the guy stopped to look at the flashy Italian ride that was out of place on the dusty American street.

 His face looked like he had seen a/… Read full post »

JULY 19, 2010 11:52PM

Lorelei's Mom Goes To The Bathroom

 Lorelei and I looked up in the dark to the ceiling as the footsteps of her mother crossed the floor. Not a big woman but a larger version of her daughter, the bottoms of her callused feet making dance-like taps as they went into the bathroom. The walls and ceilings wereRead full post »

JULY 18, 2010 3:07AM

The Smoker

There was a ‘for sale’ sign pitched on the lawn of the Starkweather place and the house looked empty. The Tudor across the street was still undergoing renovations to its wall and I parked, went up the path and rang the bell.

The guy wasn’t home and a flatchestedRead full post »

JULY 13, 2010 2:12PM

Loch In Kop (part nine)

 Greenberg’s office was a dump that opened on an alley. I parked and went inside.

 There was a girl in a tight powder blue skirt and stiff yellow blouse I figured for the secretary screaming the beehive right off her head.

 He was sprawled out behind the… Read full post »

JULY 10, 2010 1:12PM

Raising Eve From The Red Earth

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Raising Eve from the red earth beneath the shadow of the mark—
The old earth is good enough for her and perfect
Slow and robot-like encircled by her harlots,
The perfect queen of shadows—
Yesterday was the beginning of time I’m told
Her reign a golden stiff one—… Read full post »
JULY 10, 2010 1:02PM

Beneatha

Man without woman is a useless thing

Like a scarlet night without black stars—

Like a baby’s ass without its father’s penis to abuse it,

Like a victimless crime—

Oil beneath the sand, her throat cut by diamonds—

Electric eyed micro miniskirts in gay colors—Read full post »

JULY 8, 2010 12:54PM

Loch In Kop (part eight)

“Looks like you’re not the only one that’s love struck,” I said, getting off the horn at last.

 “Who’s my competition?”

 “Lorsha Greenberg, his daughter. She’s got the fool notion in her head that I’m in love with her&mdash… Read full post »

JULY 7, 2010 1:01AM

Bettie & Marilyn

 

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 Or, why I'll never have a healthy relationship with a woman for as long as I live. 

tumblr_l45shzMLng1qaqs42o1_500tumblr_l48bv80vMw1qb4zpko1_r1_500The End  Read full post »

JULY 5, 2010 6:42PM

Loch In Kop (part seven)

VI

 

 “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

 “What’s burning?”

 “I made ya French toast. It’s sort’a my specialty—on account’a my mother’s French an’ my father was toast.”

 “I’ll just have co/… Read full post »

JULY 4, 2010 1:36PM

Wonder Woman Classic

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JULY 1, 2010 7:28AM

Loch In Kop (part six)

V

 “I always liked Olga. She was a good kid.”

 “Too good for some.”

 “Yeh, my brother said you told him she was in with a bad crowd from the old country and that my son Lou was tryin’ to help her out. If there’s anything I/… Read full post »

mushroom-cloud-hb

The A-Bomb Generation began with J. Robert Oppenheimer quoting Hindu the god Shiva from the Bhagavad-Gita, saying, “I have become Death, Destroyer of worlds.”

Beginning with the atomic blast of Trinity, and trailing off into infinity, it would be Eternity but there is no transce… Read full post »

JUNE 26, 2010 11:30AM

Twilight Of The Vampyr

“It is inhuman to bless the place where one has been cursed …” -Nietzsche

It was the coldest night of the longest winter on record. It was April in Paris and yet not a tree was in bloom. It was as if the world had indeed rolled over into an icy/… Read full post »
JUNE 24, 2010 8:56PM

Loch In Kop (part five)

IV

 “Olivia, I’m headin’ over to Metro Hospital to see if Olga Loeman can talk with her face half shot off.”

 “What should I do if any more suspicious characters come sniffin’ around?”

 “Tell ‘em to take a number.”

 &/… Read full post »

JUNE 21, 2010 11:12AM

Loch In Kop (part four)

III

 “How was your lunch?”

 “Eh. How ‘bout you? Did’ja manage to get a bite?”

 “I didn’t get a damned thing. Looks like Lou was legit.”

 “That mug was in here?”

 “Yeh. He may have had no manners aRead full post »

JUNE 19, 2010 5:44AM

Loch In Kop (part three)

II

“You like bringing trouble to people’s front door. How do you like it when someone brings it to yours?”

 “I’m used to it, lady. Is there something you wanted in particular?”

 “I want you to meet someone, someone very special.”

 &ld/… Read full post »

JUNE 16, 2010 8:19PM

Loch In Kop (part two)

He stood up and took the piece in both hands, looking it over like it was a busted up jigsaw puzzle.

 “Olivia, I think our client’s brains are still a little rattled. Show him to the door.”

 “This way, bub,” she said curtly, taking him by the shoulder and… Read full post »

JUNE 7, 2010 5:51AM

Loch In Kop (part one)

“Duke Brady Private Investigations.”

 “I’d like to speak to Mister Brady please.”

 “Sure, honey. Who should I say is callin?”

 “My name is Pinsky—Nancy Pinsky.”

 “Oh-ho. Just a sec, honey.” Olivia put the… Read full post »

MAY 31, 2010 8:15AM

Not Much Of A Town

The town was too rinky to afford a dink. Crime was so petty that it usually took place one at a time; the local jail so small it could only hold one guy; usually the same guy. He was the boss of what passed for the local mob; five guys whose… Read full post »

MAY 22, 2010 7:07AM

Sleeping On Pins

My name is John Okinawa. I’m a cop. My father was a Jap, so I guess that makes me a son of a bitch. I smoke too much, drink too much and cheat on my wife. My mistress is a junky, I have no friends and my daughter is a whore.Read full post »

MAY 15, 2010 9:46AM

The Road to Hell

 She said the kid was loco; but I was the one wandering through the desert on foot. She said he was disturbed, out of his mind with desert fever. The place was surrounded by dry woolen grass bleached yellow in the aching sun spawning sidewinders, rattlers and small fur bearing creaturesRead full post »

APRIL 2, 2010 11:09AM

Granma's A Weird One

“This is the place.”

“Old Granma’s? Yeah, she’s a weird one.”

“Weird ain’t the word.”

“Oh, yes it is. My grandfather used to tell us kids stories about her. She was old then—hell she was old when my grandfather was a kid. Makes yRead full post »

MARCH 30, 2010 10:49AM

For The Love Of Ann

Drake gave Coulter what she’d wanted and she rolled over to the other side of the bed. She pulled a handful of Kleenex from a mother of pearl inlaid box and wiped her lips. Sticky drops clung to her lashes and when she came back, he wouldn’t kiss her.… Read full post »