CRIME PAYS
Johnny Noir
- Location
- Montclair, New Jersey, USA
- Birthday
- September 23
- Title
- pulp writer, Nihilist prophet, Neo-Platonist
- Company
- Johnny Noir
- Bio
- You can buy my novels at lulu.com
MY RECENT POSTS
- from THE MAN WHO SHOT PARIS
HILTON
July 27, 2010 12:11PM - Belle De Tous Les Jour
July 26, 2010 09:59PM - Loch In Kop (part ten)
July 25, 2010 07:45AM - Lorelei's Mom Goes To The
Bathroom
July 19, 2010 11:52PM - The Smoker
July 18, 2010 03:07AM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Is it possible to be
depressed in a good way?
That's how your
story makes me
feel…”
July 29, 2010 05:35PM - “The joke at the end is
actually funny, in a sad,
depressing
sort of way. Gotta
lo…”
July 29, 2010 04:20PM - “"when comparing Israel
to Iran, you're comparing a
democratic
country
trying…”
July 25, 2010 07:53AM - “Their being dead is the
least of my problems. I can
whip up a
pretty good
seance.…”
July 07, 2010 02:05PM - “That's pretty funny
& pretty smart too!
Kudos!”
July 07, 2010 08:22AM
Johnny Noir's Links
from THE MAN WHO SHOT PARIS HILTON
I ordered a steak and ate like a starving man. Nicky was looking at the food on her plate like she was trying to decide whether to eat it or if it should eat her. I got the feeling she had been through this before. When the waitress came by I/… Read full post »
Belle De Tous Les Jour
The sound of gunfire has a beauty all its own, especially when you’re the one pulling the trigger. A subtle calm washes you into a seductive abyss the polar opposite of death. I squeezed the trigger again and again, the slug perforating the cop with the lingering suspense of a kid… Read full post »
Loch In Kop (part ten)
The late model import screeched to a stop in front of Greenberg’s storefront office. The Maserati was parked across the street an’ the guy stopped to look at the flashy Italian ride that was out of place on the dusty American street.
His face looked like he had seen a/… Read full post »
Lorelei's Mom Goes To The Bathroom
Lorelei and I looked up in the dark to the ceiling as the footsteps of her mother crossed the floor. Not a big woman but a larger version of her daughter, the bottoms of her callused feet making dance-like taps as they went into the bathroom. The walls and ceilings were… Read full post »
The Smoker
There was a ‘for sale’ sign pitched on the lawn of the Starkweather place and the house looked empty. The Tudor across the street was still undergoing renovations to its wall and I parked, went up the path and rang the bell.
The guy wasn’t home and a flatchested… Read full post »
Loch In Kop (part nine)
Greenberg’s office was a dump that opened on an alley. I parked and went inside.
There was a girl in a tight powder blue skirt and stiff yellow blouse I figured for the secretary screaming the beehive right off her head.
He was sprawled out behind the… Read full post »
Raising Eve From The Red Earth
Beneatha
Man without woman is a useless thing
Like a scarlet night without black stars—
Like a baby’s ass without its father’s penis to abuse it,
Like a victimless crime—
Oil beneath the sand, her throat cut by diamonds—
Electric eyed micro miniskirts in gay colors—… Read full post »
Loch In Kop (part eight)
“Looks like you’re not the only one that’s love struck,” I said, getting off the horn at last.
“Who’s my competition?”
“Lorsha Greenberg, his daughter. She’s got the fool notion in her head that I’m in love with her&mdash… Read full post »
Bettie & Marilyn


Or, why I'll never have a healthy relationship with a woman for as long as I live.

The End Read full post »
Loch In Kop (part seven)
VI
“Good morning, sleepyhead.”
“What’s burning?”
“I made ya French toast. It’s sort’a my specialty—on account’a my mother’s French an’ my father was toast.”
“I’ll just have co/… Read full post »
Loch In Kop (part six)
V
“I always liked Olga. She was a good kid.”
“Too good for some.”
“Yeh, my brother said you told him she was in with a bad crowd from the old country and that my son Lou was tryin’ to help her out. If there’s anything I/… Read full post »
The Poet, The Pin-up & The A-Bomb

The A-Bomb Generation began with J. Robert Oppenheimer quoting Hindu the god Shiva from the Bhagavad-Gita, saying, “I have become Death, Destroyer of worlds.”
Beginning with the atomic blast of Trinity, and trailing off into infinity, it would be Eternity but there is no transce… Read full post »
Twilight Of The Vampyr
It was the coldest night of the longest winter on record. It was April in Paris and yet not a tree was in bloom. It was as if the world had indeed rolled over into an icy/… Read full post »
Loch In Kop (part five)
IV
“Olivia, I’m headin’ over to Metro Hospital to see if Olga Loeman can talk with her face half shot off.”
“What should I do if any more suspicious characters come sniffin’ around?”
“Tell ‘em to take a number.”
&/… Read full post »
Loch In Kop (part four)
III
“How was your lunch?”
“Eh. How ‘bout you? Did’ja manage to get a bite?”
“I didn’t get a damned thing. Looks like Lou was legit.”
“That mug was in here?”
“Yeh. He may have had no manners a… Read full post »
Loch In Kop (part three)
II
“You like bringing trouble to people’s front door. How do you like it when someone brings it to yours?”
“I’m used to it, lady. Is there something you wanted in particular?”
“I want you to meet someone, someone very special.”
&ld/… Read full post »
Loch In Kop (part two)
He stood up and took the piece in both hands, looking it over like it was a busted up jigsaw puzzle.
“Olivia, I think our client’s brains are still a little rattled. Show him to the door.”
“This way, bub,” she said curtly, taking him by the shoulder and… Read full post »
Loch In Kop (part one)
“Duke Brady Private Investigations.”
“I’d like to speak to Mister Brady please.”
“Sure, honey. Who should I say is callin?”
“My name is Pinsky—Nancy Pinsky.”
“Oh-ho. Just a sec, honey.” Olivia put the… Read full post »
Not Much Of A Town
The town was too rinky to afford a dink. Crime was so petty that it usually took place one at a time; the local jail so small it could only hold one guy; usually the same guy. He was the boss of what passed for the local mob; five guys whose… Read full post »
Sleeping On Pins
My name is John Okinawa. I’m a cop. My father was a Jap, so I guess that makes me a son of a bitch. I smoke too much, drink too much and cheat on my wife. My mistress is a junky, I have no friends and my daughter is a whore.… Read full post »
The Road to Hell
She said the kid was loco; but I was the one wandering through the desert on foot. She said he was disturbed, out of his mind with desert fever. The place was surrounded by dry woolen grass bleached yellow in the aching sun spawning sidewinders, rattlers and small fur bearing creatures… Read full post »
Granma's A Weird One
“This is the place.”
“Old Granma’s? Yeah, she’s a weird one.”
“Weird ain’t the word.”
“Oh, yes it is. My grandfather used to tell us kids stories about her. She was old then—hell she was old when my grandfather was a kid. Makes y… Read full post »
For The Love Of Ann
Drake gave Coulter what she’d wanted and she rolled over to the other side of the bed. She pulled a handful of Kleenex from a mother of pearl inlaid box and wiped her lips. Sticky drops clung to her lashes and when she came back, he wouldn’t kiss her.… Read full post »
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