Johnny Noir

Johnny Noir
Location
Montclair, New Jersey, USA
Birthday
September 23
Title
pulp writer, poet, Nihilist prophet, Neo-Platonist
Company
Johnny Noir
Bio
You can buy my novels and poetry at lulu.com

MY RECENT POSTS

JULY 1, 2010 7:28AM

Loch In Kop (part six)

V

 “I always liked Olga. She was a good kid.”

 “Too good for some.”

 “Yeh, my brother said you told him she was in with a bad crowd from the old country and that my son Lou was tryin’ to help her out. If there’s anything I/… Read full post »

mushroom-cloud-hb

The A-Bomb Generation began with J. Robert Oppenheimer quoting Hindu the god Shiva from the Bhagavad-Gita, saying, “I have become Death, Destroyer of worlds.”

Beginning with the atomic blast of Trinity, and trailing off into infinity, it would be Eternity but there is no transce… Read full post »

JUNE 26, 2010 11:30AM

Twilight Of The Vampyr

“It is inhuman to bless the place where one has been cursed …” -Nietzsche

It was the coldest night of the longest winter on record. It was April in Paris and yet not a tree was in bloom. It was as if the world had indeed rolled over into an icy/… Read full post »
JUNE 24, 2010 8:56PM

Loch In Kop (part five)

IV

 “Olivia, I’m headin’ over to Metro Hospital to see if Olga Loeman can talk with her face half shot off.”

 “What should I do if any more suspicious characters come sniffin’ around?”

 “Tell ‘em to take a number.”

 &/… Read full post »

JUNE 21, 2010 11:12AM

Loch In Kop (part four)

III

 “How was your lunch?”

 “Eh. How ‘bout you? Did’ja manage to get a bite?”

 “I didn’t get a damned thing. Looks like Lou was legit.”

 “That mug was in here?”

 “Yeh. He may have had no manners aRead full post »

JUNE 19, 2010 5:44AM

Loch In Kop (part three)

II

“You like bringing trouble to people’s front door. How do you like it when someone brings it to yours?”

 “I’m used to it, lady. Is there something you wanted in particular?”

 “I want you to meet someone, someone very special.”

 &ld/… Read full post »

JUNE 16, 2010 8:19PM

Loch In Kop (part two)

He stood up and took the piece in both hands, looking it over like it was a busted up jigsaw puzzle.

 “Olivia, I think our client’s brains are still a little rattled. Show him to the door.”

 “This way, bub,” she said curtly, taking him by the shoulder and… Read full post »

JUNE 7, 2010 5:51AM

Loch In Kop (part one)

“Duke Brady Private Investigations.”

 “I’d like to speak to Mister Brady please.”

 “Sure, honey. Who should I say is callin?”

 “My name is Pinsky—Nancy Pinsky.”

 “Oh-ho. Just a sec, honey.” Olivia put the… Read full post »

MAY 31, 2010 8:15AM

Not Much Of A Town

The town was too rinky to afford a dink. Crime was so petty that it usually took place one at a time; the local jail so small it could only hold one guy; usually the same guy. He was the boss of what passed for the local mob; five guys whose… Read full post »

MAY 22, 2010 7:07AM

Sleeping On Pins

My name is John Okinawa. I’m a cop. My father was a Jap, so I guess that makes me a son of a bitch. I smoke too much, drink too much and cheat on my wife. My mistress is a junky, I have no friends and my daughter is a whore.Read full post »

MAY 15, 2010 9:46AM

The Road to Hell

 She said the kid was loco; but I was the one wandering through the desert on foot. She said he was disturbed, out of his mind with desert fever. The place was surrounded by dry woolen grass bleached yellow in the aching sun spawning sidewinders, rattlers and small fur bearing creaturesRead full post »

APRIL 2, 2010 11:09AM

Granma's A Weird One

“This is the place.”

“Old Granma’s? Yeah, she’s a weird one.”

“Weird ain’t the word.”

“Oh, yes it is. My grandfather used to tell us kids stories about her. She was old then—hell she was old when my grandfather was a kid. Makes yRead full post »

MARCH 30, 2010 10:49AM

For The Love Of Ann

Drake gave Coulter what she’d wanted and she rolled over to the other side of the bed. She pulled a handful of Kleenex from a mother of pearl inlaid box and wiped her lips. Sticky drops clung to her lashes and when she came back, he wouldn’t kiss her.… Read full post »

MARCH 15, 2010 11:26PM

Shit (The Poem)

Shit—

The first word spoken by the mouth about the ass—

 A fart, the first sound heard by the ear from the ass—

A sneeze, the first sound felt by the brain—

A thought, the first sign of the mind in the body—

She’s making me sweat… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 7, 2010 12:51PM

Pits Like Roses & Hairy As A Siberian

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When I walk through the Black Forest with you

A Wonderland of smells surrounds me like your dog in the mud

And if I could track mud all over your carpet I would—

 

But that would be in a different place,

Nearer to paradise,Read full post »

DECEMBER 9, 2009 10:55PM

UNDER THE JAIL

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We ran up the stairs to the roof where we reloaded our smoking pistols. I even gave her some .357 dum-dums to blast out of her .38. From there we moved across rooftops, at last coming down a rusty fire escape into a stinking alleyway. Police sirens clogged the dampRead full post »

NOVEMBER 13, 2009 12:37PM

Katie Couric Can Blow Me

Lindsay and I made our way through the casino with no one recognizing her. She was as nondescript as any teenager on a casino floor. No one gave her a second look, caught up in smoking bad hands. She had dyed her hair bright red and wore aRead full post »

OCTOBER 29, 2009 9:30AM

Masters Of Hate

Masters of hate, you don’t know where you stand, You oppose evil but not the evil of man— You wait until darkness and then you strike, Lighting the bomb that destroys the light— And to whom will you answer on that final day When we all must stand judgment and lastly… Read full post »
SEPTEMBER 20, 2009 1:19AM

You Make Music With Your Anus

You make music with your anus, pissing like a waterfall—

Shitting with the urgency of making an airtight case—

Your ass sends me out to the stars

To look back on a world that seems so small—

When I say the goddess shits the universe into existence,Read full post »

AUGUST 10, 2009 3:50AM

El Diablo!

The Chief of Detectives walked into his office. The fat dick was sitting in the leather chair left over from the half-assed interrogation session with Kitty. The chief lit a cigarette, saying nothing and walking to his desk. The fat bull’s eyes followed him. The chief sat down, looking meanly i… Read full post »
JULY 20, 2009 12:28AM

THE HOT AS HELL HOTEL

"Electric is obviously insane!"

 "Obviously."

 "I don't see why my family should go on living in fear of a known dangerous felon! How could you let him get away?"

 Victor Von Schwartz blustered but the man behind the desk stayed cool. He even lit a cigar and propped/… Read full post »

JULY 10, 2009 4:57PM

LADY LUNA SEES ALL!


 By dawn the dogs had been called off. I came out of the brush covered in mud. It had rained all night and all I had done was run and crawl through godforsaken sewage until the only scent the dogs could get was that of the surrounding mud and… Read full post »

JULY 7, 2009 12:50AM

The Lucky & The Damned

The storefront ’s main room was the gypsy’s fortune telling parlor, where painted pink winged nymphs cavorted naked in the middle of an untamed forest, with grinning hairy half-men, half-horse creatures leering crazily through the dark brush.

There were statues of what I supposed were p… Read full post »

JULY 4, 2009 9:45AM

The Man Who Shot Paris Hilton

PARIS HILTON SHOT DEAD ON RED CARPET

 

The flashbulbs didn’t fade as she lay bloodied from her stiff blonde head to her stiletto heels; lifeless limbs flung out at her sides, as pink in death as she had been in life, the spark extinguished by a single shot… Read full post »

JULY 3, 2009 5:38PM

Dawn Of The Hunted

I walked out of prison still a prisoner. I moved back to the town where I had been kicked off the force and tried to start my life over again, but there was no way that was going to happen. Not with the onus of 'child rapist' hanging over my head.… Read full post »