Johnny Noir
- Location
- Montclair, New Jersey, USA
- Birthday
- September 23
- Title
- pulp writer, poet, Nihilist prophet, Neo-Platonist
- Company
- Johnny Noir
- Bio
- You can buy my novels and poetry at lulu.com
MY RECENT POSTS
- Who Is The Most Beautiful
Jewish Woman In The World?
May 26, 2012 11:37AM - I Want To Be The Man Who Comes
In Cindy Sherman’s Mouth
May 09, 2012 11:43PM - I Dreamt Her Body Was The
Crimean War
April 10, 2012 10:29PM - Apotheosis
April 02, 2012 10:40PM - Cynthia
March 19, 2012 09:47AM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Rick Lucke: being gay is
obviously a rational and
logical
choice.
Kidding.”
May 11, 2012 01:20PM - “Legalizing gay marriage
has the same consequence
as
legalizing rape, which
produc…”
May 11, 2012 12:33AM - “Who's imposing their
views on whom? What I see are
bigoted
mobs of radical gays
f…”
May 09, 2012 11:40PM - “I hate Michelle Bachmann
with all my blood, but I am
an
atheist homophobe
because…”
July 15, 2011 01:45AM - “Nice one!”
June 30, 2011 11:30PM
Johnny Noir's Links
Loch In Kop (part six)
V
“I always liked Olga. She was a good kid.”
“Too good for some.”
“Yeh, my brother said you told him she was in with a bad crowd from the old country and that my son Lou was tryin’ to help her out. If there’s anything I/… Read full post »
The Poet, The Pin-up & The A-Bomb

The A-Bomb Generation began with J. Robert Oppenheimer quoting Hindu the god Shiva from the Bhagavad-Gita, saying, “I have become Death, Destroyer of worlds.”
Beginning with the atomic blast of Trinity, and trailing off into infinity, it would be Eternity but there is no transce… Read full post »
Twilight Of The Vampyr
It was the coldest night of the longest winter on record. It was April in Paris and yet not a tree was in bloom. It was as if the world had indeed rolled over into an icy/… Read full post »
Loch In Kop (part five)
IV
“Olivia, I’m headin’ over to Metro Hospital to see if Olga Loeman can talk with her face half shot off.”
“What should I do if any more suspicious characters come sniffin’ around?”
“Tell ‘em to take a number.”
&/… Read full post »
Loch In Kop (part four)
III
“How was your lunch?”
“Eh. How ‘bout you? Did’ja manage to get a bite?”
“I didn’t get a damned thing. Looks like Lou was legit.”
“That mug was in here?”
“Yeh. He may have had no manners a… Read full post »
Loch In Kop (part three)
II
“You like bringing trouble to people’s front door. How do you like it when someone brings it to yours?”
“I’m used to it, lady. Is there something you wanted in particular?”
“I want you to meet someone, someone very special.”
&ld/… Read full post »
Loch In Kop (part two)
He stood up and took the piece in both hands, looking it over like it was a busted up jigsaw puzzle.
“Olivia, I think our client’s brains are still a little rattled. Show him to the door.”
“This way, bub,” she said curtly, taking him by the shoulder and… Read full post »
Loch In Kop (part one)
“Duke Brady Private Investigations.”
“I’d like to speak to Mister Brady please.”
“Sure, honey. Who should I say is callin?”
“My name is Pinsky—Nancy Pinsky.”
“Oh-ho. Just a sec, honey.” Olivia put the… Read full post »
Not Much Of A Town
The town was too rinky to afford a dink. Crime was so petty that it usually took place one at a time; the local jail so small it could only hold one guy; usually the same guy. He was the boss of what passed for the local mob; five guys whose… Read full post »
Sleeping On Pins
My name is John Okinawa. I’m a cop. My father was a Jap, so I guess that makes me a son of a bitch. I smoke too much, drink too much and cheat on my wife. My mistress is a junky, I have no friends and my daughter is a whore.… Read full post »
The Road to Hell
She said the kid was loco; but I was the one wandering through the desert on foot. She said he was disturbed, out of his mind with desert fever. The place was surrounded by dry woolen grass bleached yellow in the aching sun spawning sidewinders, rattlers and small fur bearing creatures… Read full post »
Granma's A Weird One
“This is the place.”
“Old Granma’s? Yeah, she’s a weird one.”
“Weird ain’t the word.”
“Oh, yes it is. My grandfather used to tell us kids stories about her. She was old then—hell she was old when my grandfather was a kid. Makes y… Read full post »
For The Love Of Ann
Drake gave Coulter what she’d wanted and she rolled over to the other side of the bed. She pulled a handful of Kleenex from a mother of pearl inlaid box and wiped her lips. Sticky drops clung to her lashes and when she came back, he wouldn’t kiss her.… Read full post »
Shit (The Poem)
The first word spoken by the mouth about the ass—
A fart, the first sound heard by the ear from the ass—
A sneeze, the first sound felt by the brain—
A thought, the first sign of the mind in the body—
She’s making me sweat… Read full post »
Pits Like Roses & Hairy As A Siberian

When I walk through the Black Forest with you
A Wonderland of smells surrounds me like your dog in the mud
And if I could track mud all over your carpet I would—
But that would be in a different place,
Nearer to paradise,… Read full post »
UNDER THE JAIL

We ran up the stairs to the roof where we reloaded our smoking pistols. I even gave her some .357 dum-dums to blast out of her .38. From there we moved across rooftops, at last coming down a rusty fire escape into a stinking alleyway. Police sirens clogged the damp… Read full post »
Katie Couric Can Blow Me
Lindsay and I made our way through the casino with no one recognizing her. She was as nondescript as any teenager on a casino floor. No one gave her a second look, caught up in smoking bad hands. She had dyed her hair bright red and wore a… Read full post »
Masters Of Hate
You Make Music With Your Anus
You make music with your anus, pissing like a waterfall—
Shitting with the urgency of making an airtight case—
Your ass sends me out to the stars
To look back on a world that seems so small—
When I say the goddess shits the universe into existence,… Read full post »
El Diablo!
THE HOT AS HELL HOTEL
"Electric is obviously insane!"
"Obviously."
"I don't see why my family should go on living in fear of a known dangerous felon! How could you let him get away?"
Victor Von Schwartz blustered but the man behind the desk stayed cool. He even lit a cigar and propped/… Read full post »
LADY LUNA SEES ALL!
By dawn the dogs had been called off. I came out of the brush covered in mud. It had rained all night and all I had done was run and crawl through godforsaken sewage until the only scent the dogs could get was that of the surrounding mud and… Read full post »
The Lucky & The Damned
The storefront ’s main room was the gypsy’s fortune telling parlor, where painted pink winged nymphs cavorted naked in the middle of an untamed forest, with grinning hairy half-men, half-horse creatures leering crazily through the dark brush.
There were statues of what I supposed were p… Read full post »
The Man Who Shot Paris Hilton
PARIS HILTON SHOT DEAD ON RED CARPET
The flashbulbs didn’t fade as she lay bloodied from her stiff blonde head to her stiletto heels; lifeless limbs flung out at her sides, as pink in death as she had been in life, the spark extinguished by a single shot… Read full post »
Dawn Of The Hunted
I walked out of prison still a prisoner. I moved back to the town where I had been kicked off the force and tried to start my life over again, but there was no way that was going to happen. Not with the onus of 'child rapist' hanging over my head.… Read full post »
Johnny Noir's Favorites
Updates
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VOTING: A right - Not an obligation
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RESCUED FROM STORAGE: MY 1965 FENDER ELECTRIC XII GUITAR!
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Uniquely Unqualified
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Reading About the History of the Yankees
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Making peace with the Point
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Nazi Muff-Diving: It Could've Happened Here
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For Memorial Day: "Let There Be Light"
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Vertigo of the Golden Gate Bridge - 75 Years
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