You don’t realize how pervasive it is until you decide to open up.

This evening I was talking to a lady, passing the time while I waited for my daughter. We chatted about weather, then careers, then kids. I love telling people I have 5 kids, it’s unheard of today. When I was younger that was nothing – there was a family on every block with 10 or 11 kids. But today, 5 is an eye-opener. Not that we set out to have 5, sometimes the best laid plans fail, not to mention the most careful birth control. But in the grand scheme of things, we feel it was supposed to be. But I digress.

We got to talking about dream jobs, and I mentioned that given half a chance, I’d be in law school. Even though I’m a week shy of 50, if I could afford to go without my income through law school and establishing a new career I’d do it in a second. But the sole purpose would be to more effectively advocate for mental health patients. Someone suffering from a mental illness is lost in a wilderness of vague rules in a system designed to deny, rather than grant, benefits. Social Security disability can take literally years to get. A person who can no longer work due to their illness has to typically wait 1 to 2 years to get an income coming in. What do they do in the meantime? A lot of shoulder shrugs answer this question. Once again, I digress.

When I reveal that one of my boys had bipolar disorder, it’s almost always met with a story of a friend or family member struggling to get by. The pervasiveness of mental illness in our society is really unknown until you open up and invite people to tell their stories. In this case the lady had 2 siblings die from suicide. Her eyes filled with tears as she mentions this. She asks about my son, I tell her he passed away last summer, not suicide, but an accident in our home brought about by a manic state. There are various studies that show 15% to possibly 25% of people with bipolar disorder commit suicide. But that’s the tip of the iceberg. I have found no studies addressing this, but it’s my opinion that the majority of those with bipolar disorder will not live a life that goes to “statistical term”. Psych meds are life-changing, sometimes in positive ways, too often in negative ways. Dangerous weight gains, kidney failure, diabetes, thyroid failure – all are very common side effects of commonly prescribed psych meds. Depression risks are understood by most, but few can grasp the dangers of mania, which in my opinion is a bigger danger. In an attempt to quell the storm inside substance abuse is a given. And the situations a person finds themselves in as a result of mania is the stuff of a million stories, too often with tragic outcomes. We chatted a while longer, both saddened yet somehow heartened that others understand.

In a few days, perhaps a week or a month, I’ll find myself in a similar situation. I’ll open up, and get a story in return. It’s a never-ending story.