Reading through some of the posts on OS, it is clear that the work of the abuser has been experienced by many of the bloggers on here. Looking at the experiences of the past, and maybe for some in the present, there are words and actions that have never been forgotten.
The act may be happening in a private place where the abuser feels safe from detection, then come those telling words, “Remember, this is our little secret, no one else must know, you must not dare reveal what has been done/said in this private place.” That’s not what we will expect to be said by members of OS though ........... Or is it?
A number of times I have opened up my pm box to find words that are nothing more than verbal abuse with no explainable reason for it. Not carried out by trolls, but by legitimate members of OS.
Often it is ignored, maybe they will pass the adolescent stage at some point.
Recently, I opened up a pm which came under the title of a post I had made. The message came with only one word and no sentence to go along with it. It was a word I had not heard before in this part of the world, though may be well used in other parts. My friends could not understand it neither.
So, I decided to place it in the post that came with the same heading, maybe someone else would understand it. The name of the sender of the PM was not given. I have since discovered that the word was not a pleasant one. Certainly not one that one would expect from someone seeking intellectual dialogue with others.
Add to that the post concerned related to D day and respect for the veterans of the Second World War veterans and their wishes. Comments I had made elsewhere would also reveal that my thoughts on D Day are that any post I comment on that subject can only be appropriate if honouring the Veterans.
Subsequently, a further pm arrived. Though the person’s name was not mentioned there is clearly a fear that someone will recognise who it is. No remorse for the offence caused, but anger as I was told bluntly of the ethics of revealing what is put in a pm.
A pm is PRIVATE, it is “our little secret”, it seems. Anyone recognise the similarity with the abuser in the non virtual world? You can do all the nasty things possible and put it in a pm, and get away with it! Most of us would agree that the 1st rules on ethics concern whether we are abusive both in action and in words.
There are some people on here who are younger, and maybe more easily bullied. From my perspective I want to say that in future any inappropriate messages sent to my pm box is placed in MY box to deal with as I privately decide. That leaves the option for me to not only mention the message, but also NAME the sender too if I should so desire.
Let’s put things into perspective before we say pm refers to PRIVATE message box.
Private letters may be private, but when they reveal messages that are inappropriate they can be sent to appropriate authorities, and often must do from a legal perspective.
Message boards with PM facility can be accessed by moderators for legal reasons and dealt with appropriately. Clergymen will be expected to keep confidences, but there are certain areas of the legal aspects, certainly in this country, where the law expects information to be revealed.
The PM is MY PRIVATE box; containing messages that I need to discern how to deal with for a whole number of reasons. Legitimate confidential messages will be confidential. Abuse my pm box, and the ethical code has already been broken
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Comments
Anyone who sends a PM to someone, regardless of the content, should have no expectation of it's contents remaining confidential.
Just because a PM is the chosen method of communication it should not be viewed as a license to unleash abusive language, or as a means of harassment.
If we can collectively emphasise that any, whether it be younger members or those of maturity, should not feel obliged to keep secret any abuse through the pm.
The FISA vote alone should have revealed that, but even without it, none of us are really guaranteed that sort of privacy.
What is the FISA vote?
Congress, in its infinite state of denial and irresponsibility re: the importance of governmental and corporate (in this case) transparency, has passed a number of bills that retroactively make legal what were illegal actions... i.e., spying (on anyone and everyone) by the Bush administration.
Not only that... but they also granted a blanket immunity to the telecomm industry, in exchange for their "cooperation" in breaking the law, thus negating a number of pending law suits by private citizens.
(FISA = Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act... except that it really includes US citizens, as well, through lots of "legal" -- if extra-constitutional -- loopholes.)
This should not have happened! Please ignore it so the rest of us can continue to enjoy your excellent work!
Talk to you later. O/E
Thanks also for the explanation KTM
You are rightly saying about highlighting the issue, but it is an issue that we all need to highlight in some way to ensure the continued success of such places as OS. If this has been my experience, how many more are hiding beneath the surface. Sadly, the abusers may often give an outer appearance to the world of respectability, but beneath may be something very different.
I did find this particular line disturbing:
Not carried out by trolls, but by legitimate members of OS.
I assume you meant it wasn't what is commonly referred to as a "greyhead" account, meaning the person in question actually had an avatar and a profile as well as a body of posts themselves.
If that is the case, I'd submit that even some of THOSE could be trolls. Look around here enough, and I'm sure you will find some very questionable accounts that look perfectly legitimate.
Uh, just looked at your profile before hitting "Post this comment" and noticed you didn't have an avatar. No offense. :-D
Bill, no offence taken ref avatar. Being computer illiterate I would not know where to start to create one.
As you have pointed out, if its something we would be ashamed of saying/doing it should not happen whether it is one person that knows or a milion and one people.
This kind of message needs to be expressed wider on OS. from what I am reading others are having difficulties with the way people are posting in the PM.
You may not be able to see the face of a person you've just offended, but your words still have a hurtful effect to the person on the receiving end.
I keep PMs sent to me confidential. I've been lucky that all those who have PMd me thus far have been friendly. I wouldn't shelter a person who insulted me, though.
Beware, just as in real life the abuser is not always some one who we would assume to be beyond reproach. The example on here was in face some one who has been given considerable respect by OS members.