Before we find ourselves in any big theological debate on some of the following, this is intended to be humourous. (Why does such a note need to be appended to posts in OS?)
7 reasons not to mess with a child
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to
swallow a human, because even though it was a very
large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not
swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her
classroom of Children while they were drawing. She would
occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently,
she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one
knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing,
the Girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments
With her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father
and Thy Mother,she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our Brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of
a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and
watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She
suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white
hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are
Some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and
Then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been
photographed, and the teacher was
trying to persuade them each to
buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be
to look at it when you are
All grown up And say, 'There's
Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's
Michael, he's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And
there's the teacher, she's dead!"
A teacher was giving a lesson on the
circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she
said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know,
would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.."
"Yes," the class nodded in unison.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the
ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
Elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end
of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is
watching The apples.
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LaineyDee
J.P. Hart
TotallyAnonymous
FusunA
julie Kiernan
Terrintokyo
Salon.com
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