I passionately believed in Barack Obama, campaigned for and eagerly voted for him.  I was jubilant - even giddy - when he was elected.  I breathed a sigh of relief believing the world had just been - if you'll forgive the term - righted again.

Almost a year later, I'm experiencing alternating disbelief and numbness at the course of events that have not followed my hopeful vision for his presidency.

I am as passionately against continued war in Afghanistan as I was appalled and angered by our invasion of Iraq.  I believe we should have healthcare as described in the Obama campaign with choices not only on abortion but on who insures us as well (the mislabeled and totally misunderstood 'public option') .

I believe the banks, credit card companies and most Wall Streeters are greedy crooks who should be 'governed' given it is OUR tax dollars that kept them afloat. 

I believe we need to put the brakes on the real destruction we are wreaking on our planet.

Yes, I could go on and on as all of us could. 

But what I can not do is what many on the left and lots of independents  (silly to mention those on the right) are doing: turn on Obama with teeth bared and blood dripping their fangs.

As tempted as I may be, I, ultimately, have to ask myself what would that accomplish?  I can hardly stand to hear the now-screaming voices on 'our side' fillet Obama without offering one civil word or thoughtful direction or solution.

Oh, yeah, Ed Schultz can get his mouth (and ego) going about how bad Obama is.  Howard Dean can now turn in the destruction direction of 'Kill the Bill' and feel he's being a leader.  Anon.

The real heartbreak is not that this new President is seemingly turning his back on those of us who believed in him so deeply. It's not even that we have reason to feel betrayed, that we have no idea who that guy in the White House really is.

The REAL heartbreak is that no non-political (assume press/media)  leader has emerged to speak thoughtfully or civilly in solution-oriented terms that might help us make our way through these difficult times without eating our young.

The voices on the left are no better than the Limbaughs, Palins, Cheneys on the right.  They have in one short year become equally accusing, strident and vicious.

And it's unacceptable.

I despise a lot of what I am seeing from this administration in its early days.  But  I don't know what their big picture is and I'll be damned if I'm jumping on the hate train that is going to feed the public as much destruction from the left as from the right and ENSURE republican victories in 2010.  No thank you.