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JRDOG

JRDOG
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May 24
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Artist
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Truth matters. You matter too. Life is art! www.jrobinwhitley.com

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Salon.com
JULY 15, 2009 8:48PM

The birth day of a stalker - July 15, 1961

Rate: 9 Flag
I never remember
birthdays.
Have to work to remember
my family's
my partner's
and at times my own.
 
So, why,
on this fuckin' day, 
do I remember you
were born
to stalk me?
 
 

 STALKING IS ILLEGAL AND

CRIMINAL IN MOST STATES

Another important post on OS comes from ApacheSavage about the new prevalance of cyberstalking. Check out her post CyberBullies...

 
For more info on Stalking please click on "stalking" :
Types of Stalkers:
Zona and colleagues (1993) have delineated three types of stalkers which are as follows:

Simple Obsessional:

A prior relationship exists between the victim and the stalker which includes the following:
Acquaintance, neighbor, customer, professional relationship, dating, and lover
The stalking behavior begins after either:
The relationship has gone “sour”, or
The offending individual perceives some mistreatment
The stalker begins a campaign either to rectify the schism, or to seek some type of retribution


Erotomania:
Based on

the Diagnostic Statistical Manual, 4th ed. (DSM-IV, 4th ed.)
The central theme of the delusion is that another person is in love with the individual
The delusion often concerns idealized romantic love and spiritual union rather than sexual attraction — “a perfect match”
The object of affection is usually of a higher status and can be a complete stranger
Efforts to contact the victim are common, but the stalker may keep the delusion a secret
Males, seen most often in forensic samples, come into contact with the law during misguided pursuits to “rescue” the individual from some imagined danger. Females are seen most often in clinical samples


Love Obsessional:
Similar to the erotomanic individuals:
The victim is almost always known through the media.
The delusion that the victim loves them may also be held
The erotomanic delusion is but one of several delusions and psychiatric symptoms — this individual has a primary psychiatric diagnosis
These individuals may be obsessed in their love, without having the belief that the target is in love with them
A campaign is begun to make his/her existence known to the victim

 Current Definitions:  A more recent categorization has been developed by Mullen and colleagues (Mullen, Pathe, Purcell, and Stuart, 1999).

Mullen et al. (1999) delineated five categories of stalkers based on motivations and context:  rejected, intimacy seekers, incompetent, resentful, and predatory.

 

The Rejected:   

* As a result of a relationship dissolution (i.e. estrangement, disruptions, break-ups) from an ex-partner (but inclusive of a parent, friend, or work associate) this type of stalker can be observed desiring a mixture of reconciliation and revenge.

* This individual often experiences feelings of loss, frustration, anger, jealousy, malevolence, and depression.

* The Simple Obsessional subtype given above closely approximates this type of stalker.

 

The Intimacy Seeker: 

* These stalkers pursue an intimate relationship with an individual perceived as their true love, but their attentions are not wanted by the object of their affection.

* The type of stalkers who fall into this category often have a delusional disorder (i.e. erotomania). Those who represent "intimacy seekers" may suffer from other disorders (i.e. schizophrenia, mania) or hold morbid infatuations.

* Erotomania and Love Obsessional best represent this category.

 

The Incompetent:  

* These intellectually limited and socially incompetent individuals desire intimacy, but the object of their affection does not reciprocate these feelings.

* They often lack sufficient skills in courting rituals.

* They may also display a sense of entitlement: believing they deserve a partner, but lack the ability or desire to engage in subdued, preliminary interpersonal relations.

* Another aspect of these stalkers is that they may have had previous stalking victims.

* Unlike the intimacy seekers, those in the incompetent category do not view the victim as having unique qualities; they are not infatuated with the victim -- only attracted, and do not assert that the affection is mutual.

 The Resentful:   

* The goal of this stalker is to frighten and distress the victim.

* These stalkers may also experience feelings of injustice and desire revenge. 

The Predatory:

* The power and control that comes from stalking a victim gives these stalkers a great deal of enjoyment.

* The stalker often strives to learn more about the victim.

* The stalker may even mentally rehearse a plan to attack the victim.

* Most of these stalkers are diagnosed paraphilias and, compared to the previous four categories, they were more likely to have histories of sexual offense convictions....


If you feel you are being stalked, most states have laws stating the illegality of stalking.

 

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Comments

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In my career as a psych-counselor I dealt with 2 stalkers. They both were the most difficult of patients to understand. I wasn't objective.
rAted!
I never felt so crazy as when dealing with my stalker. Peace to you Mr. Mustard.
This is a great public service post, JR. I just learned more in five minutes about stalkers than I have in the rest of my life. I just thought they were all nuts, but I see there is more to it than that. Well done!
I had no idea there were so many varieties, and none of them describe the sort of individual I'd want to know.
How terrifying to be "stalked"! -- all the true horror stories of women who simply tried to break off a relationship only to enter a kind of Hell -- women shot walking out of a store or leaving work. My sister had a "stalker" who sat howling beneath her window & followed her to school waiting outside her classes. Fortunately he wasn't violent, but it was still disturbing. I have four daughters, so this has always been a concern. Thanks for the info.
Your courage and concern for others in posting this is admirable, Robin.
This gave me chills. You gave me information. Rated.
Wow - Robin thanks for sharing - this information is so important. Realizing July 15th was a Wednesday, know how hard Wednesdays are for you - hope you were OK! Rated
Very informative. Thank you for this. My boyfriend and I are currently dealing with one of these. We make every precaution, including my anonymity on the internet, to prevent her from learning anything about us. It's a horrible nuisance and occasionally frightening.
Great and informative post. It seems to me that the internet has brought about more of the predatory types or at least a greater opportunity for them to strike with anonymity. I feel like the pack of stalkers that were/are harassing me on ebay and beyond might have been mean spirited people in the first place but they came off the chain when they thought their identity was hidden and that they could never be caught or punished for what they were/are doing.
Contrary to popular belief, ignoring them **will not** make them go away. For me it has been 9 months and they are still at it. I had a live stalker who had stalked me for 7 years.
If anyone is being stalked this post should prove helpful and they should call the police when they finish reading it and the links.