i (Adult Judy)
Blank space inhabits gardens
where spiritual tiger lilies once
basked in divine light sharing
truth without words
trust without promises
trembling only before
Never after. Never after.
I was that open heart
once without effort I prayed
once without fail I promised
surrender. I promised to
remember my core, my soul,
my life before this life
formless but formed
lifeless but alive
Eternal. My essence eternal.
I knew God. Face-to-face I
knew God as father, friend,
mother, lover, sustenance,
nurturance, elegance. And
I reflected all within Him,
Her, Buddha, Jesus, Yahweh,
Shiva. I was all that and
more, definitely more, than my
puny, whiney, human-formed
self writing these words.
ii (Li'l Jude)
Don't be mad at yourself
honor the rhythm
sing out the rhyme
lines are only lines
written or stood in
and fear comes with the turf
it is the turf
step on it
feel the green
no calendar
no time table
all agendas are the same
Begin! Observe! Write!
Say thank you God for another
day to be puzzled, to be
disappointed, to serve in
frailty and failure
judging not the effect
and knowing the cause
is bigger than you.
iii (Teen Jude)
Counting my fortune
penny by penny
births perspective.
Without evidence I feel
poor. With evidence I am
rich beyond belief, safe
beyond expectation, and
blessed beyond proportion
to my life.
So why focus on fiction
of biography and not
fact of spirit?
Why focus on fact
of 2009 when I breathe
eternity within every cell?
Why honor artificial template
when my core is organic?
And why ask rhetorical
questions when all answers
begin and end with surrender
of perceptions, with surrender
of clutter, with surrender of
comfort and certainty and
identity and control?
I hear the birds
insistent that I focus on
their chatter and listen to
their tone and timbre and
yield to their rhythm and
laugh in delight as another
world flows into mine and
I feel how real each is
as long as I focus
I feel the pulse of the breeze
cooling my arms to the point
of discomfort then caressing
each goose bump with the
sun's warmth
I sense time approaching still
I sense my time approaching still
I sense the merge that one day
will swallow me and return me
to whole
Just for today
I am ready to move beyond
I am ready to observe
I am ready to write what is
and share what is
and be what is.
Judy Shepps Battle is a New Jersey resident, addictions specialist, consultant, poet and freelance writer. She can be reached by e-mail at writeaction@aol.com. Additional information on this and other topics can be found at her website at http://www.writeaction.com/.
Copyright 2009 Judy Shepps Battle
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Comments
I think now about how many times i have "announced" to myself I am ready...ready to start, ready to move, ready to try...and i only now notice my magical mind makes that "ready-ness" an event unto itself. Usually expanding it to an event of such proportion that the doing becomes less than the "ready-ing".
The resulting action can only be a paler version, i build it up to such an extent i seem to leave no option.
And then i wonder why i always seem to not live up to my own expectations.
How many new starts will it take til this body/mind/self owns that all i really have to do is be here now. Why do i insist on making a production of what and how i do-- instead of doing it?
"Just for today" i say...
"Starting here and now" i think...
While my history shows me that i am most effective when i simply open myself to experiencing the moment i am in , as opposed to planning what i will do next.
Isn't there an adage or something about God laughing while I make plans?
So i am taught to look at this one day ahead and to decide where i will need help and where i'll need guidance. And then i am told to ask for help, and to pause when agitated, and especially to listen for that still small voice that tells me what the next right thing to do is.
And then it is suggested that i breathe deep and be at peace TRUSTING there is one who has all power who will be with me and take me where i need to go when i allow it...
And this magical mind makes plans to do that...
In the land of Someday Isle...
My hope is that the consciousness of each new launching pad of intention reflects a higher level of awareness (and a commitment to this next level of difficulty).
My hope is that the flow of humility that accompanies the profound realization of powerlessness has a healing power of its own. A power that I do not need to know how it actually works but only that it works.
But, in the end, I suspect that one can only follow life's path one footstep at a time and have faith that our actions are enough.
Namaste.