Mean people and sharks: both are excited by the smell, sight, and taste of blood. Your blood!

When a shark nips you gently - or a human says the first mean thing - the safest thing to do is pretend to laugh it off and then ignore the attacker. (If they actually drew blood, just lift that body part out of the water for a few hours until the open wound scabs over.) The first step: don't let them realize they actually got to you.

If you feel like it, you can reply lightly, "Fortunately I wasn't trying to please you, otherwise I'd be soooo hurt and devastated."

For bonus points, use compassionate communication to figure out what's really bugging them and go there. Empathizing with enemies (if you can dig up the genuine energy for that - requires lots of sleep, multivitamins, etc.) is the bravest thing a person can do, and it totally works. Usually freaks them right out. And it'll meet your need for adventure, no lie.

Either way, you're addressing the situation and moving on.

All the things that I do NOT recommend are things that let them know they really got to you - in the moment or later on. Definitely don't bleed on Facebook afterwards so that everyone who wasn't there can get all excited by the blood and call for other sharks to join the attack and then everyone starts biting and you can't kill all 0f them with just your teeth. (Even if you could, then you'd be lonely. So...)

In the shark tank, deal with the bumps and bites one by one. Ignoring them if you can, pushing back if you feel like it, but keeping your blood out of the water. The sharks will move on, looking for easier prey.

(I'm happy to try to teach compassionate communication skills, any time. As long as you don't expect me to be perfect, because I'm still learning myself. The web site reads like it's all sweetness and light, but in fact, the basic skill of self-empathy - figuring out what you are feeling and needing so you can be fully present in interactions - is super helpful in dealing with both sharks and people when they circle you and start to bite.)