DISCLAIMER:  This is opposite of what Kerry (can't use Zerry 'cause I'm not in on the joke) said to do simply because I'm a maverick.  And I also didn't read the directions. 

So, I thought I’d do a live blog from the comfort of my living room that is not located in a swing-state.  I’m not allowed to go out in public today because I don’t want to scare any Obama voters away.  The cigs and Coke Zeroes have their hold on me and I had about4 hours of sleep last night – not a good look.  Is that a dreadlock?  Oh, so that’s how they’re made.  Good to know.  Anyway…….

8:00 – Rise and shine.  Two cups of coffee with Chai Spice creamer.  Yum.  CNN, MSNBC…I’ll stick with CNN.

8:10 – Oh yeah, I have dogs.  I better take them out. 

8:15 – Cover all mirrors.

9:00 – Long lines everywhere.

10:00 – I’ll make some calls for Obama.

10:02 – Bitch!

10:03 – Double bitch!

10:20 – What a nice guy!  He’s already voted for our guy!  Yes!  That’s one.

10:25 – Another nice one.

10:27 – Voted McCain, but was cool about it.

10:30 – Did I just turn this lady???  I did veer a little off the script, but I think I made a difference.  Just the facts ma’am.

11:00 – Man, I really gotta shower.  What about superstitions though?  What if I take a shower and single-handedly throw the whole thing?  Rationalization is fun! 

12:00 – Okay, I’m clean.

12:45 – Paul calls, we can close on the ranch as early as next Wednesday!!  Oh my gosh!  Yea!!!!  Except now I actually have to move to Oklahoma.  I mean, it's just barely across the Red River.  Hey, the contrast in price was unbelievable!

1:00 – Pull out some boxes.

1:01 – Leave the boxes in a pile on the floor.

1:20 – FauxNews has a gross, hate Obama, terrorist ad on – they’re on air.  It is not a commercial break.  WTF?

1:21 – Hahahaha – I love Dallas.  We have commercials that have to bleep out curse words.  Love this guy!  And his hair.  (This one’s for you, Pea)

 1:45 - Sam's here.  He's building an addition to my dad's house and my dad wonders why it's taking so long.  He's just the one guy, I remind him.  He voted for Obama - we're both very excited!

2:15 - CNN has an interesting thing on where they've switched the skin colors on Obama and McCain.  Hmm.  I wonder how this would have gone if that were the case.  And just goes to prove that race should not be an issue in this election!  I'll try to find the picture. 

2:30 - Found it!            

2:45 - Tut's vote she cast for Obama absentee will count!!!!  Yea!

2:45:02 - Realize the run-on sentence but can find no other way to say it.

2:47 - Joe the Plumber is on CNN talking about taxes.  Hahahaha.  He's getting defensive.  The anchor - don't know his name, shockingly - is taking him to school!  Asks him how he thinks roads and schools are built and paid for.  Joe's a dipshit tool.  Pay your taxes and then talk to me about taxes.  The anchor just asked him point blank, "So, you think that people who make less than $250K should pay more in taxes and people who pay over should pay less?"  Joe:  "Listen, brother, um....blah, blah, blah, that's not what I said."  Hahahaha

2:48 - Check TV to make sure I'm not actually watching Comedy Central.

3:05 - What am I supposed to do if I get an answering machine?  "This is not a Robocall.  Thank you for voting today."??  Paid for and sponsored by Julie.

3:16 - Tore the October page off my calendar.

3:30 - Ate Fruity Pebbles.  Am not sure why we have these in the house or where they came from.

4:00 - Thank goodness MSNBC!  My love, my Keith is finally on!  I hope he doesn't yell at me tonight.

4:07 - Polls close for Texas in less than three hours!  Vote, vote, vote!

4:17 - CNN has some crazy exit poll thing.  Looks pretty good.  60% of the people are most concerned about the economy.  10% with the Iraq war.  63% of those that worried about Iraq voted Obama and only 36% for McCain.  No, I have no idea where the poll was taken. 

4:18 - I wonder about polls.  I have never taken one.  No one has ever asked me.  I feel slighted.

4:44 - Some polls close in 15 minutes!

4:45 - I'm going to keep blogging, even though no one's reading, because then I'm not the crazy lady talking to herself.

4:46 - Is sushi or Campisi's pizza better for a victory?

5:00 - Breaking news on CNN:  Economy #1 concern.  Why is that Breaking News?  They had a whole graphic and everything.

5:01 - Uh-oh.  70% think that Obama will raise their taxes.  What have these people been doing for the past month?  I've got to figure out who they are polling.

5:02 - The Pea is going to a huge election party here in the streets of Dallas and will text me updates throughout the night!

5:26 - To Al Gore, Michelle Obama, Joe Biden and Judith:  I'm calling, I'm calling!

5:37 - Indiana - It's a knuckle-biter.  Obama was way up in what was reported, now it's 51 to 48.  Oh my God!  Is this what's going to happen to me all night?  This is only 1% in!  Start drinking now.  Oh, and screw you Kentucky.  I knew I never liked you much.

5:45 - Am feeling sad because no one cares about Texas yet.

6:00 - Chuch Todd:  Too early to call in Georgia and South Carolina with 0% in.  Ya think?

6:15 - Husband forcing me to eat.

6:30 - Both Pea and I are very freaked out by CNN.  They've gone George Lucas with a hologram person!!!  WTF??  Bringing out the big guns CNN?  Been keeping that one under wraps?

6:45 - You can do it Indiana!  You can do it!

7:00 - Our roving beat reporter, Pea, counted 46 Obama supporters and only 12 McCain supporters!  A soldier there, in fatigues, supports Obama because "he cares more for the greater good."  I second that and salute you, sir.

7:05 - Obama at 103 electoral votes; McCain at 34.  Come on Florida!!!!!

7:06 - Liz is on.  I need to check her out.

7:22 - TEXAS EARLY REPORTING:  54% Obama and 45% McCain!!!  I wish there weren't so many counties in Texas, because those blue numbers include Austin, Dallas and Houston.  And only a few of the red ones are even up there.  

7:35 - Ding, dong, the witch is dead - Liddy Dole defeated!

7:45 - Obama holding steady at 103 total and McCain gaining ground at 58.  Obama's back down in Texas.

7:51 - My husband asks me if I want to watch a movie.  He now lives outside.

8:06 - Obama - 175; McCain - 70

8:15 - Roving reporter Pea was accosted by a drunk McCain supporter.  I wonder if he knows he's in Fair Park?  She also just got flashed "Boobs for Obama!" is her new catchphrase.

8:20 - Obama takes Ohio!!!!!  Next up Florida!

8:30 - Obama 200; McCain 85 - Whohoo!!!  We're on our way folks.  It's like a ride that I don't want to get off of.  Well, not until it stops at 300 or so.

9:08 - Peanut and Pea just got to Oak Cliff and there are 8,000 people in the streets according to her sorces deep inside DPD.  It's absolutely nuts!  People celebrating everywhere!  I am so jealous and mad about this blog.

9:09 - McCain - 135; Obama - 207.  Does Utah even really count as a state?  It's like a mythical place.  I've never met anyone from there or who has actually been there.  I think it's fake.

9:40 - BREAKING NEWS:  The Pea has been seperated from the Peanut and we've sent a search party!  She said it's a tsunami of people!  How amazing!  Well, not about them being seperated.  I'm actually a little worried.

9:41 - McCain - 143; Obama - 207

9:42 - Paul can't take it - he's going to bed.

9:43 - The Peanut has been safely returned to the Pea.

9:50 - I love it when Rachel Maddow schools Pat Buchanan!

9:51 - The sea of people at Grant Park is making me cry! And Atlanta, NY, New Jersey, San Francisco, Dallas.........

10:02 - CNN calls it - BARACK OBAMA IS THE PRESIDENT ELECT!!!!

10:02 - The Pea calls.  She sneaked into a store to share with me this story that I believe sums up what we all feel.  As she stood next to her black ex-pro-footballer friend, tears streaming down their faces upon hearing the news of Obama's victory, he quietly pulled out his phone.  He called his father and grandfather and simply said, "We did it."

Dogs, kids, babies, Asians, blacks, whites, Hispanics, old folks - all celebrating this with each and every one of us at this very moment.  I have never been so proud.