We all do it. We sit at the keyboard, pounding away, letting the thoughts flow through us. For some, it’s poetry – the likes of which I’ll never be able to write, much less comprehend or, you know, get. For others it’s a new fiction piece about an old barn that tells its own story. Still others are able to capture the wrongs in the world and help me to understand things I clearly do not. Those of us who call ourselves writers (meaning I don’t have a job and I write stuff, so I’m a writer) must write. Of course, if we wanted to simply spin a yarn merely for ourselves, we could. I’m told they sell journals just about everywhere these days. But, we don’t. We want to share our thoughts, our stories, and our prose. And, of course, we like to hear what people have to say about what we choose to put out there. Do they like it? Did I capture an issue properly? Did I teach someone something they didn’t already understand? Do they like me?
As a writer, I try to be thoughtful in what I put out there for the world to see. Not everyone does, and that’s okay. This is my chosen vocation and certainly don’t want to remembered as a hack. But, where do we draw the line? Where do ratings and comments feed us so much that “Yo! Where My Honkies At?” seems like an appropriately titled piece. Where do we draw the line at, “I’m brilliant and you all suck because you don’t tell me how brilliant I am and you’re the ones missing out because I’m hilarious. And brilliant.”
When do we, contributors of a site, say enough? Enough of bad-mouthing and complaining about the very site where you are bad-mouthing and complaining. You know, the one allowing you to have a voice? Yeah, that one. I’ve heard that this interweb thing is, like, ginormous. If you hate it so much here and think everything about it sucks, and everyone on here sucks because they just don’t recognize how spectacular you are – why don’t you find another place that will welcome your talents? I certainly would.
Some people on here probably think I’m a bitch, and that’s okay. Do I question things when others seem to think that we should just play along? You bet. The thing is that I’m not doing it only for myself. If my bullshit detector goes off, I tend to comply with it. If I don’t it’s a whole mess of stuff backing up like a really ripe septic tank. No one should have to stifle themselves to please others. Just for a moment, let’s look at why sometimes we should question what people put out there. The reason for me? Because I care. If I think something is kind of hinky, I don’t want you to be taken for a ride. While it may seem inappropriate to some, simply asking a question instead of piling on the applause shouldn’t be that big of a deal. If someone takes offense, it’s probably because they don’t have an answer. They aren’t looking for any challenges, merely accolades.
“I’m flouncing!”
“No, don’t! Please, please stay.”
“But, no one appreciates the copyrighted logos I plaster on my page or the You Tube videos of a drunken cat.” (DO NOT stop posting videos of drunken cats.)
“But, we need you here – your voice.”
“No, I must go, I never get an EP or the cover – this place is rigged. Rigged I tell ya!”
“Hey everyone I’m back! I know I haven’t been on here lately.” (Even though I’ve posted 10 pieces in a matter of seven days.)
Why is it not okay to question this? Are we not adults? The countless posts become nauseating. Perhaps if more people said, “Hey, what about that post you did today and yesterday and the day before that?” it wouldn’t happen so frequently. But, no, if someone does – they are the ones who are somehow out of line. The reason that these same people don’t receive the coveted (in their eyes) EPs and covers is because the only recognition they receive is when they are saying they are leaving. If you don’t have readers, that’s okay. If you want readers, change what you’re putting out there. I mean, I, personally, can only read so much on “Why OS Sucks” before I’m probably not going to come back and check out the latest reason. Even though your next post could be about an entirely different topic.
Running around this place leaving entire blog posts in others’ comments because you think it is terribly important is inappropriate to say the least. Berating others because they don’t feel the same as you about said post is inappropriate. Turning someone’s words to direct them at you is inappropriate. And all of it disruptive.
There are many posters on here with mental illnesses. They’ve told us as much and it’s clear when those illnesses come to the surface. Why do I need to feed it? Do I feel sorry for them? Yes. Will I ever understand what they go through? No. But, you know what? Maybe a site like this isn’t really the best place for them. When people crack, it’s loud and clear and I don’t think we should placate it. They need help and this isn’t where they will find it. We are not doctors or psychologists – well, okay, maybe there’s a couple. But, sometimes I sit back and wonder what the hell is going on here. It’s okay to behave so abrasively to others if you have a mental illness but not if you don’t? It’s not an excuse to me. I don’t get it.
There have been times on here where I have thought things were directed at me – or at least the general direction. You know what I did? I PM’d them and asked. Simply asked. Privately. This business of overreacting and the subsequent witch-hunts are getting old. And embarrassing.
I love this place. It gave me a voice – a way to write differently than screenwriting allows. It allows me to learn every single day. Open Salon gives all of us information, prose, artwork, essays, my mom’s ass. We interact, we comment, we rate, we build friendships – even with Canadians! Why don’t we show it a little more respect?
Yesterday a new member wrote a hurried post about how she needed the comments section to work for her to bring her blog and users over here from some other site. With not much thought, it was clear what would happen to this site if that were to take place. Initially, it had nothing to do with whatever end of the political spectrum she fell under. She wanted to import a blog and linked her previous posts here as an example. I remember the night this “example” post was on. There was nothing – nothing – in the feed except for her and her friend in what amounted to a chat. There was no discussion on the post what so ever. Although it was really gross and propaganda-ey so there wasn't much to actually discuss. Nope, just a chat between the two about avatars and what not. The point I tried to make is that a) we are not set-up for that type of commenting, b) She wanted to use OS’ standings to further herself - not be a contributing member with thoughtful pieces, only her group and their followers. What her group stands for is nothing that even conservatives here, save for a few, would associate with. She bragged on how many comments she had, etc. Is that what we want this place to be? “Thanks for developing this site for us liberals, don’t mind us if we just hand it over to the exact opposite.” Which brings me to c) Not in my house!
And what did we do? We cleaned house. We stood up for Open Salon, albeit with drunken pirate wimmen and spanking, but we did it all the same. So, why not stand up for it when the same thing occurs from within our own members? And if someone does, why are they suddenly a heartless bitch?
If you hate Open Salon so much – then leave. If you think the tech sucks – then find a place that does a better job in your eyes. If you can’t get a picture to load – fucking resize it or name it something else. But, what tech do we really need that is so out of reach? I seem to post things just fine. If you think you should be paid for your writing and are sick of giving away all your valuable words for free – then find some place that will pay you. Hmm, why aren’t you doing that already? I think I’ve got a pretty good idea.
If you want EPs and to be placed on the cover, write something worthy of it. If you think you are so worthy and just never get a fair shake, perhaps somewhere else you might. In my opinion, it’s the same thing that gal and her group wanted to do. You still want to utilize OS’ stature and have your name attached to it. Moreover, (yes, I said moreover) Kerry explained what was taking place at Salon, hence their need for a new editor. Give them a break. This is a free site for us to use. It’s no expense to us. It is, however, an expense to them. Be thankful for the platform we have here. A platform rich with information, breaking news, drunken cats and pirate wimmen, cartoonists, poets and humorists. A platform we make. Let’s make it the caliber it should be as opposed to constantly bashing it.
I’m grateful to Open Salon for many reasons. I have made new friends – like, real life ones. I’ve been introduced to new artists, magnificent prose and important discussions on challenges we face as a nation.
And then you come across something like this:
I LOVE Sarah Palin! It’s about time we got some real conservatives at OS. Sarah has been the victim of a relentless defamation campaign by liberals. They’ve portrayed her as unintelligent and reckless, when in fact she has great ideas for moving the country forward. There’s so much to like about her: She’s pro-life, she surrounds herself with people who are knowledgeable about foreign policy, and she knows what it takes to improve the economy and create jobs. The fact that she’s clever and personable is a bonus. I’m with you one hundred percent. Please, bring your friends to OS. We're an open and gracious community. My only request is that you not post on Tuesdays, which is when my ophthalmologist removes the camera implanted by the CIA for especially grandma hi gRrandma!!! thanksgiving i comes soooooo fast or camera CIA lots great grerart grrrrrareat AWE dresssssssin insecting seditious delICIous! aco. mellaril!! YIK!&%yuM!!! *&^ strange sleepy ((((((((smells Tha+nksgiv nurse p=lease stOp! yahWEY io Thanksgiv no shot please no+ shot NONE weeeeeee oh CIa camera Thank$$$sgivi
- Steve Blevins
See how great this place is? One comment from someone and I have to clean myself up because I peed my pants, crying with laughter. Really, there were tears and everything. Virtual strangers who can make each other laugh and cry. A community indeed. If you can’t understand that, I’d like to kindly ask you to move.


Salon.com
Comments
Excellent, excellent piece.
Carry on. And also? Good piece.
Frank - Right? I was howling!
Rated.
Floyd - No, tell me more!
Cat - What I took out of last night was that we are really a community, albeit a sincerely jacked in the head one. But, it's okay, because we were all on the same page. I just don't like the fact that people continue to put down the very place that grants them a platform for said put-down.
My spanking still stings. Maybe next time I'll rethink the chaps.
Nelly - Thanks!
While thank you Bill, that's mighty neighborly of you. Eh? (heehee)
Sandra - Thanks for taking the time. And, just so everyone, including him knows, I want Steve to come and just live in my house.
Torman - I have to do that as well, but there comes a point where it's disruptive to the rest of us. Not to mention, that I ain't buying what they're selling.
Oh... and Steve Blevins is the man, dawg!
Kathy - I know, right? I kept thinking - huh? Then whammo!
You have said what needed to be said and very well, good job!
I try not to step in shit when I see it but sometimes it is hidden like under leaves and stuff. I need to go clean my shoes now. ;)
I get what you're saying - thanks. I prefer full-on make-out session though.
Janie - Yes please.
Lunchlady - Thanks. It's tough when it starts showing up everywhere right?
See, everyone - she's Canadian!
I'll check out your post, just don't post it in the comments, k?
Janie - I was scared to open it with that description, but then it said it wasn't "found" or something. Try again?
: Scroll down to the bottom at the left hand side of the page to where it says ENGLISH and click. It brings up different languages, then click ENGLISH PIRATE and see what it does. It is pretty funny... I stole this status from someone else, who stole it from someone etc.....
I tried and all my friends are mateys and I have a Cap'n log instead of a profile! and on and on!
So thanks for putting into words feelings I can't say, Julie. You are a true treasure of OS. And to me, for one to stay silent in the face of bullshit is as bad as the bullshit itself. There have been times when I've gone against the tide here but only because I honestly disagreed. I don't think honest disagreement is a bad thing. We're all learning until the day we die.
Communication is the highest form of art - and that's what OS facilitates.
MAWB - that's awesome!
When I needed to take a break, I just quietly took it. After a while and enough digging in the earth, I came back refreshed and the people who had pissed me off were mostly not around anyway!
Thanks for a well written post.
R
Susanne - I've done the same thing myself. It felt good to leave for a bit and concentrate on other things and it felt good to come back as well.
Harry - I was so totally proud. Her head had to be spinning.
::walks off shaking head::
Well-put Julie, although even tho I'm not Canadian, I do take the path of least resistance and try to walk away most time things upset me.
Kathy - does that potato sack come in an A-line for us large-butted wimmin?!
Steve always knows how to dispense the proper dose of levity when the gloom looms large. Let's just enjoy what we do here. Open Salon has some pretty cool changes coming.
I love this place too, and I love you. You've got such a terrific brain, and you are fierce in your loyalties to friends, and welcoming to new talent...at the same time not taking any bs from anyone. Perfect combination.
(plus you're hawt and you love Deven--which is just bonus)
Tom - much better!
Chuck - He does, doesn't he? And what changes are you talking about?
Making mental note: no talk, only eat at CK's
Good post, Julie.
Normally, with the amount of comments already here, I would second someone else's comment. They're all reflective of various things I feel... Most of all, I feel the community aspect of OS.
I don't give a shit about EP's for my own posts, I just appreciate the people who care to stop by and have a laugh (or an infrequent cry)with me. It sucks when the disagreements turn into name-calling, pick-a-side or F-off wars. Just a little more tolerance and kindness would go a long way, but the recent crap has made me realize (and re-evaluate) that it is inescapable in the world we live in.
I think I know who my friends and fellows are; I think I know who to avoid.
I actually feel like I'm not doing my part when "real life" prevents me from showing support to my friends here.
Overall, I dig OS, the writers/artists here, and it has actually changed my life in a good way.
Now let's all have a group hug, yeah?
:-)
Barry - Why you wanna make me cry? You are one of the best things that I have from this place. You are a great friend and an amazing artist. Sending that love right back your way.
Don't you wish Deven lived in Texas still? I would make her come and play with me every day. Maybe she could room with Blevins. Oh, yeah, there's that Dan...and Ben...and mom - can't forget mom - well, I can build on.
Janie - I'm totally using that site! What to get for the sister who has everything? Mwahahaha!!
CK - Not a bad comeback I have to say.
Spotted - Thanks for reading. I agree 100% with you. This is an amazing place - a real place.
And I think I've learned little by little on this site the difference between empathy and enabling when it comes to those with real problems. Empathy always. Enabling, no.
http://www.pbs.org/mediashift/2009/11/can-salons-revamp-help-it-stop-bleeding-money316.html
Hell, you and I have had discussion and we didn't fully agree, but that didn't mean that I didn't understand your position nor you mine. But, I didn't run away calling you a bitch and then PM everyone else so they could do the same thing and I know you didn't either. It's like bizarro world sometimes.
The anonymity of the internet has allowed for the emergence of a strange subculture. People cloaked with avatars, as one would use a mask in the “real world”, spoiling and performing as both perpetrators and victims of abuse.
It is not exactly a microcosm of the world. It is more like hyperbole come to life.
In life apart from the online world there may be a modicum of accountability which can argue for change. But where anonymity reigns there is little if any hope of that.
In the end thoughtful and insightful essays such as you have offered here seem destined to encourage those already disposed to seek the best for all concerned. That may make your words all the more important despite being ignored by those for whom they are actually written to address.
Thank you for your thoughts and words.
Rated and appreciated.
BOKO - And berserk. I was just saying the other day that I should use it more often. A totally rad word with fantastic spelling!
So glad to see the pirate wimmin were able to vanquish the wannabe interlopers.
This is a great place, even with the occasional dramas. Mental illness is not an excuse for bullying and bad behavior. It's just not, and, well I don't think I need to explain my views about this any further.
Well done Julie, great piece.
http://joshfulton.blogspot.com/2009/11/doj-are-dirty-fascistic-bastards-they.html
Josh - Hmm...piggybacking of OS to promote something for blogspot. Perhaps you should read this a little more carefully. Plus, I think some of the pirate wimmen are still pretty drunk and would have no problem running you out of here too.
Ric - I'll always give you a spanking. But, you're right about the cartoon. What makes it even worse is that she had a whole bag of them. She kept changing the picture up there. We probably gave her more attention than she deserved, but I doubt that group will take up residence here. Ah, community.
T&D
82
Don't be callin' my boy a fucker. Only I can do that.
Lea's always so eloquent isn't she?
I questioned him as to what the hell he thought he was doing.
"I'm trying to get the squirrel to come out."
"What makes you think he'll listen?"
"He hasn't been, that's why I keep raising my voice."
Needless to say, he didn't get the squirrel out. I feel you may be doing the same thing.. It's a noble idea and I agree entirely with what you're doing, but I really don't think the squirrels will listen.
Now the only question that remains is; why the fuck was that guy in my yard at 3 a.m. and just what did he want with that squirrel anyway?
Frank - nachos good.
BTW, I loved the part about those long comments. As a rule if I find myself writing a comment that is mroe than three paragraphs long, I make it a post and ref. the post that prompted me.
Rant Rated
Oh Trudge, I wasn't going to name any names but....
::kicks rocks::
Stupid lame nouns.
Also: I agreed to the tiara. I am not wearing an asshat. I'm not sure what that is, but I'm not wearing one.
There's my English degree at work! BAM!!
@Will Cat, dats yer problem; U think everything is about you; except for that time in Mexico with the mule and ... sorry ... I remember promising John Blumenthal that I would never mention Mexico or the mule.
Whew.
I had this very same idea percolating inside the ol' capitulum ever since the latest "look at my beautiful flounce dress all you assholes who don't even realize how talented I am fuck you all for not reading me and rating me I should come right over there and slap you straight upside the head for your continued stupidity and ignorance for not recognizing that I am a very, very talented writer, and lots of other writing platforms give me tons and tons of hits, I hate you all, especially you doughebag editors and those of you who continue to knife me in the back and not even apologize for it, dammnnn you allllllllll!!!!! And just to show you how serious I am about flouncing, I am NOT flouncing!"
Fuck you, M'dear.
This is just another bitch post, riding on what WAS a healing experience.
Some people just don't GET IT.
He made the same vapid comment on my post after refusing to read about what specifically made me mad at the editors that time.
He'll eventually get it that sucking up doesn't get EP's any more than complaining causes you to not get them. I actually don't care about them and prefer NOT to be on the home page. Neither put money into me pay pal account!
Otherwise, I'm happy with my existing EP's, and have even been on the Home page a couple of times.
I think that your post is brilliant and expresses what you feel.
I agree with much of what you're saying. But when the Google ads came in, for instance, no, I wasn't happy. I'm still not. I still don't like the blog pages with them on it and tend to "tune out" a bit more to them.
I'm grateful to OS, no doubt. But when I have complaints, I have complaints. I don't think I need to move on just because I stand up and speak my mind, as part of the community. I've earned the right to not like things here. OS benefits, we benefit, readers benefit - but I'm part of that equation and have a voice too.
I know - perhaps that's what you're saying. It's just the "like it or leave" element seems a little strong.
And yeah, false exits get annoying...though I think I made one accidentally a while back!
I admire your candor and so much about this post! I can't add anything to what's been said. Great writing and humor, and pirating! I had a lot of fun finally getting to pirate before heading out.
I hope we can be a little more sensitive with lines like this though, "People need to start behaving like adults - and taking their meds." I think those stereotypes border on taking away from the empathy.
I feel that if you have a problem with something in the tech arena or something on this site - tell it to someone who can do something about it. But, in a nice way. I literally read one person said they sent over 1,000 emails to Kerry about how shitty something was (EPs, I think) and were pissed that they didn't receive the response they felt they warranted. 1,000 emails from a blogger? Seems like spam to me. The constant headlines of how much OS and its people suck is getting ridiculous.
Kate - You're absolutely right. I became a little careless when I wrote that and I appreciate you saying as much. Glad you enjoyed it. (Well, except for that comment) I understand your need to leave, but do check in from time to time.
I like OS and am going to stay. I like not having to get all dressed up to come here, not like I would have to do going to some fancy place like Dollar General or Wal-mart.
Monte - I can live without the thousands of comments when the ones that I get (for the most part) are of substance - like yours. I like the relaxed aspect too. I haven't showered in days!
Thank you for this excellent essay.
The Devonian Period of Evolution
Science has already helped us with our definition. Un-evolved?
Prolific Poster
CK - That is freakin' awesome. I wonder if that's where she got her name?
Cat - I'm sure it will happen in a matter of days. Hold on, let me down this bottle of Crown - I'll start something.
Bob - Right? My hat's off to 'em.
Tom - It's all about you, you, you!
I just keep reading that and crying! What a gem. I think I'm going to post it on my wall.
empathy vs. enabling. of course lea gets it right and writes it right. every time.
[polishing red boots for next time] loved those chaps, julie.
Someday I hope to be as eloquent as Lea. Until then - I have this.
Oh, and don't worry, I'll wear a pirate dress when we do the "OK Corral". I should get dressed before I hit the grog. Well, either that or someone needs to call me about what we're wearing.
Okay, we were having our own party, there, I said it! We were cliquing! Okay okay the truth is we found your chaps, Julie, and we were arguing over who looked better in them, and then the words turned to spanks, and then your mom came in and oh jeez, I am grounded all over again...
I bet mom just wanted those chaps for herself so she doesn't have to pull down her pants to moon everyone. She's sneaky. Don't fall for it.
Good writing, Julie. :-) I learn something new every day.
Em- Only four? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
Surly - Yeah, you were to busy peeing on people or riding around on a broom or something.
Good post, Texas Okie
And I like being part of a girls' blog site - so there.
Grif - My favorite cowboy, us women folk like havin' you around too!
Thanks for dropping by boys.
I agree with you. This place has given me room to grow as a writer. The community here has accepted me whether I want to blog about the plight of women in the Congo, or my latest orgasm, or my love for nature. There's room for all of us, I think.
Thank you for putting into words what many of us think. Great job.
lb
Steve Blevins' ass, on the other hand....well.....
I also like Stellaa--I actually stalk Stellaa with frequency--but I must challenge her on this:
Critics will have to choose: OS is a woosy girl blog. OS is a mean girl fest.
Maybe it's a pat-pat-on-the-back-with-a-stab-in-the-heart girl fest. I challenge the premise that we must choose.
Well said.
FLW - Yes, OS has somehow wormed its way into my life and I'm thankful for a place where I can share whatever is on my mind at the time.
Sheldon - Now, you and I both know that that would never happen!
Tiger - OS can be a harsh mistress sometimes. Hang in there, I really enjoy some of the posts you've written.
Ghost - I agree that it can be both at times. On the other hand, I really feel is should be seen as neither. Just because someone doesn't agree, it doesn't make them a bitch or a "mean girl". In the same respect, I think the pat-pat-pat's get out of hand at times.
Cat - Arrrgh!
Con - I think they're only available at Tea Parties. Thanks
Tom - I think you've kinda shown why/how you can't effectively communicate what you, in particular, are trying to say. Starting a comment with "listen" sets the tone - and not in a good way.
If I may, people think you are a troll because most every comment you make is in contrast to what the post is about. While you may be trying to have them think about something in a different light, you seem to try to get it across in a abrasive, know-it-all manner. Maybe you do know it all, but there are different ways to communicate those thoughts. Not to mention that you have never written anything. You are a gray head. We don't know who you are. You are new here. Since you are all too familiar with this atmosphere from way back, you should well know that people tend to think of what I've described above as trollish. It shouldn't be a surprise.
I agree that sometimes the lauding goes a bit too far and is sometimes unfounded. But, sometimes we might need to find a gentler way of challenging.
Maybe how people perceive you would be a great first post!
You can hang out at redstate.com all you want, which is also built using code all thought of and developed by free thinking lefty communists in oh so horrible Western Europe ... backed up by Salon in San Francisco!
Oh, and 99% of Salons are, en francais, les cliques. And full of insecure artists who are catty as all hell. And thats without all the right wing political and religious mumbo jumbo- seems to always be this way ... bwhahahahaha lifes funny as $#%*!
AUWE