Julie Tarp

Julie Tarp
Born and bred in Texas. I'm a Screenwriter with a script currently in Development in La-La Land. Met and fell in love with my husband who is an actual cowboy. We have a 140 head cow/calf operation. He does the hard work, I just write about it.


JANUARY 19, 2010 11:58AM

In Which Jake Grows A Spine

Rate: 13 Flag

To bring you up to date on the first two episodes, check out my previous post.

Here's a look at the remaining contestants:

Ashleigh  Corrie  elizabeth  Ella

     Ashleigh                      Corrie                      Elizabeth                       Ella

Gia  Jessie  Kathryn  Michelle

          Gia                            Jessie                          Kathryn                    Michelle

Tenley  Valishia  Vienna  Ali

      Tenley                        Valishia                      Vienna                          Ali

Last night’s show promised to be just as dramatic as the week prior - in the previews at least, with Tenley crying to Jake that she is pregnant.  Whoa.  I wonder if there’s a box for that in the screening process?  Alas, it was just a tease because nothing of the sort happened.  She did cry to him about her failed marriage, but no bombshell babies.

The first one-on-one date Jake had was with Ella.  I like her.  She’s more mature than most of the girls and her accent is as southern as grits.  She’s a mom and isn’t more proud of anything in her life than her son, Ethan, whom she says is her soul.  For their date, Jake took her to Sea World with one great surprise – her son!  She was thrilled beyond words to see him and to see how Jake was with him, which was endearing.  All in all, a pretty good date.  So much so that Ella received the coveted rose, saving her from elimination.

Jake’s next date was with Vienna complete with the mandatory helicopter ride to the San Gabriel Mountains.  Only, this ride wasn’t just for sightseeing.  During the flight, Jake seemed a little off almost as if he was nervous.  We soon found out why when they landed on a bridge set-up for bungee jumping.  Now, there was footage of a river in there somewhere, but I never really saw it again.  It looked as if they would be jumping off with only giant rocks below.  This didn’t do anything for Jake, who somehow has a fear of heights even though he’s a commercial pilot.  Vienna comforted him and in the end, they jumped.  Returning to Jake’s house for dinner and, of course, the hot tub, Jake seemed to be really into her.  More so than any of the others he’s been alone with.  Relaxed, maybe.  She definitely got a rose, so no worries on elimination night for her.

Her only concerns come from the house as the girls have taken a strong dislike to her.  Sweet little Ali apparently isn’t all that sweet.  At one point just about all of them ganged up on Vienna about how awful she is.  Now, I don’t know if there’s some mysterious footage that we aren’t privy to or they are just jealous of her time with Jake.  If I had to bet, I’d go with the latter.  She isn’t the most beautiful of the pack and it feels like she’s just an easy target.  At one point, she tried to apologize to them and it just seemed to make things worse with Ali pouncing on her once again.  Boy, she really doesn’t care for Vienna.

The next date was a group event at Jon Lovitz’ Comedy Club, only the girls were the headliners.  They all took it in stride except for Ashleigh who literally cried she was so scared.  The girls came up with their bits and all were pretty lame, but the crowd did laugh at a few of them.  But there was silence - glorious, edited silence when Michelle took the stage.  The girl’s not funny.  At all.  When the date moved to the roof, poor Jake got an earful from Ali and Ashleigh about Vienna, although they really didn’t say much.  So she walks around without a top on – who cares?  But, Jake felt tugged in quite a few directions.

The girls also decided that they were over Michelle whose motives for her love for Jake seem to be that he’s looking for a wife and she desperately wants a husband.  Desperately.  In her head, I guess this makes them a perfect match.  Did I mention she's fantastic?  When she finally received some alone time with Jake, she did some bit about how she’s not really emotional (while wiping tears away).  Then, in the next instant asked if she could kiss him.  He gave in, but it didn’t appear to be a pleasant thing.  Once the grade school kiss was over, she was upset he didn’t give her more.  I guess she didn’t get the response she was looking for as she immediately threatened to leave the show.  Jake sat for a moment and then suggested that would probably be for the best.  See?  There’s that spine!  I’ve known girls like Michelle before and all she wanted was for him to beg her to stay, and then she’d do the same thing over and over again.  Nope.  Nipped that right in the bud.

Since Jake was emotionally drained from the evening, he chose not to hand out a rose to any of the girls there, which they all seemed to understand.

At the cocktail party just before the Rose Ceremony, Jake took Elizabeth aside for some private interaction.  She again went into her business about the not kissing.  She “just wants him to understand”.  Blah, blah, blah.  That’s all she talked about, all while batting her eyes and falling all over him.

Well, what do you know?  There’s that spine again!  Jake called Elizabeth on her game playing.  The look on her face was priceless.  She is stunningly beautiful and I imagine that she’s used that to her full advantage most of her life with no one ever calling her on anything.  He basically told her she was being a tease and he didn’t like head games.  As she tried to get out of it, playing cutesy at first, he just kept at it – using her own words against her.  Now, I don’t know if she’s just that ditzy or it’s part of her shtick, but she seemed to think that all he wanted was to kiss her or she wouldn’t get a rose.  Not the case. 

Soon Vienna interrupts the conversation for her alone time with Jake.  Thank goodness, I was getting a little nauseous.  Of course, Elizabeth runs inside to tell all the other girls about Vienna and how Jake just kept asking her for a kiss.  Again, unless there’s some mystery footage, I didn’t see that part.  After Vienna and Jake have a relaxed chat, she returns to the lion’s den.  Elizabeth runs crying to the bathroom and Ali tells Vienna how much she’s hurt everyone.  Vienna seems to be just as stunned by this as I am.  Uh, girls?  You might want to tuck that jealousy in; it’s showing just a bit.

At the end of the night, Jake had to send two girls home.  Valishia was the first to go.  I didn’t even remember she was there and I’m guessing Jake felt the same.  In dramatic fashion, the second to get the boot was Elizabeth.  She was completely shocked.  I think she came on thinking she’d just win the whole thing without even trying.  He knocked her down a peg or two although she did mutter that she can get a date any day of the week on her way out the door.  That’s probably true, but maybe just maybe it will be a little bit harder after showing her mind game skills on national television.

Jake stood up to a couple of the girls and sent them both home.  He showed that it doesn’t matter how cute you are, if you’re a hot mess you’re gone.  I really wish he waited another few episodes though, I kinda like the crazy.

Article  also posted at Reality Fishbowl.

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Without crazy, this show is dull, dull, dull. Jake is also pretty dull. So I don't have high hopes for anything very dramatic to happen now that the crazy and the slutty have been sent packing. That Ashleigh chick looks like she could explode, though.

(yes, I'm embarrassed that I even have an opinion, but stupid tv really soothes me after a long day of being smart!)
Yeesh! I'll stick to watching "Dancing With The Stars."
I always love reading your posts. But I had to admit, I had no idea what you were talking about until I read the tags. I'll catch up. r
I don't have the patience to watch this myself, so I appreciate you distilling it for me, Julie. ;)

But really; can you tell the girls apart? Except for the occasional dark hair, they all look like cookie cutters to me...
Bonnie - right? meow!

WAH - I'm sorry I missed that! I wish she wouldn't have gone so soon - purely for my entertainment, but I do like when people surprise me and Jake certainly did.

Muse - I know, right? I'm thinking Ali is going to step up as the next cookoo. Don't feel too bad - I wrote two whole posts! The shame!

Eva - I don't blame you.

Joan - Thanks! I probably should have been a little more specific in the post itself. I can just imagine you thinking I've made up some weird game.
Ash - I can't tell them apart. That's why I had to put up the pictures. Only the crazies stand out so far. I watched the Bachelorette last year because my husband's friend happened to be a contestant. I don't normally go for this show - I like a little more crash and burn in my reality shows.
I haven't watched, but last night a friend of mine chronicled the whole thing in facebook status - hilarious and now I can't wait to catch the next one. I'm going back to catch up on your old posts now! Great!!!
Much better--the last post I saw a picture of a dude. Then again, they are all too skinny.
In my defense, I don't watch the show.
Her name is Vienna. 'Nuf said.
All the brunettes but one are now gone, so it's now even harder to tell them apart.

Which one was your husband's friend, Julie? Anyone who survived the first cocktail party? (And more interestingly, why oh why did he do it?)
Stellaa - cheater!

Mom - I bet that was hysterical!

Thoth - It's like the application is: too skinny? Yes. Big boobs? Yes. Blonde hair? Yes. Batshit crazy? Yes. - You're in!

Janie - It's a price I'm willing to pay. But one day I will come to with a favor...

Right, Em? And what's with all the weird spelling?

Muse - His friend is Jesse - the wine maker from Carmel Valley. His brother is one of Paul's best friends and he's the one that asked if they "got naked yet" on the hometown date. Of course, she cut Jesse after that one.
As I say to Mary on her American Idol posts, I have never watched this show. But if you like it I can at least rate and appreciate this piece for the nice job you did recapping something I will never see :)
Rated and subjectively appreciated.
Cool, somebody else on this site is following this silly show. :)