If you haven’t been keeping up with The Bachelor, you can find the first couple of show recaps here and here.  Bringing us to last week where Jake sent four women packing.  The episode started with the girls piling into RVs for a road trip that would last the rest of the season.  Granted, they were like tour buses, but still – not the best place to be trapped with women you are competing against.  The first stop on the trip was a vineyard, where Gia received a one-on-one date.  She seems a bit unsure of herself, but is naturally gorgeous.  Which means I hate her.  But, her and Jake had a lovely romantic dinner by a campfire complete with hot dogs and roasted marshmallows.  Did they use up the helicopter budget already?

The second stop on the trip landed them in Big Sur.  I’m pretty sure they were at the Fernwood campgrounds where I was once a celebrity bartender.  (I only fell down a couple of times that night.)  Jake had a two-on-one date, which normally means that one of the two girls will be heading home before the final rose ceremony.  Jake flipped the script and sent both Kathryn and Ella home, leaving the remaining girls shocked.  And in dramatic Bachelor fashion, Jake took the rose he didn’t hand out and tossed it into the fire.  Really, all I could think about was the movie “The Jerk”.  You know, when Navin is working at the gas station and the guy starts shooting at him?  Navin thinks the guy is shooting the cans.  “He hates these cans!”  “He really hates these cans!”  That’s what went through my head.  “He hates that rose!”

ABC – Burn Baby Burn

At the rose ceremony, Jake once again surprised everyone and sent both Jessie and Ashleigh home, when he only needed to let one of them go.  This appeared to be a man who knows what he wants and didn’t feel the need to continue “dating” someone he just wasn’t into.  Good on ya, Jake.

                          Ali                                      Gia                                         Corrie

                                       Vienna                                      Tenley

So, last night the remaining five girls:  Ali, Corrie, Gia, Tenley and Vienna, headed into San Francisco.  I don’t really have a favorite here.  Gia seems pretty cool and all the girls hate Vienna for some reason, so I kinda like that, but I don’t see the draw of any of them. 

The first date went to Tenley with a sightseeing jaunt around the city, ending up in China Town.  They made their own fortune cookies and yeah, it was pretty lame.  Tenley started to grate on me a bit with her cutesy talk.  “Thanks for tea time”, said in a child-like voice.  What is this?  I thought paddy-cakes would break out at any moment.  They later went to dinner where the talk turned “serious” with Tenley wanting to know what Jake’s expectations for marriage are, because “there are always expectations.”  This went on and on like two people trying to be somehow profound, but choosing the wrong subject matter.  At this point, I think the only thing my husband expects is that he might have clean socks and underwear.  Anyway, they made out, and I’m thinking that he’s starting to really like her.

The next date was a two-on-one with Vienna and Gia to a “12^th century Tuscan castle”.  Now, I didn’t see them hop on a jet or anything, so I’m not exactly sure how that works.  Not to mention the fact that they were in Napa.  Did they bring the stones over to build the thing?  Did they fashion it after one?  Nevertheless, the place was gorgeous.  Jake was a bit consumed with how awkward it was going to be having two girls on one date.  You think?  Haven’t you done this before?  You are dating five women at once.  Now is about the time you should be getting over that.

The first time I saw any real passion from Jake - any emotion at all, really, was during his alone time with Gia.  He told her that he was falling for her and she likewise.  Vienna was so freaked by him spending any time with someone other than her that she took a lantern and began to creep around the castle looking for them.  She was going to get her turn and she really didn’t need to interrupt Gia’s time, but it didn’t much matter as she got a bit lost.

When Vienna finally found them, Gia and Jake were wrapping up their make-out fest and it was her turn to be alone with him.  When Jake asked her what her idea of marriage is, she mentioned something about “being in-love like six year-olds”.  I was pretty confused by this as I think Jake was.  I hated boys when I was six – they pulled my hair.  Maybe she meant sixteen?  Anyway, Vienna has seemed to be a front-runner up until now.  He has been really into her even with the other girls in his ear about how wrong she is for him.  He didn’t seem to care, but it looked as though he was pulling back from her.  She must have felt this too because after everyone went to bed, Vienna snuck back down to Jake’s room with a couple of glasses of wine.  To her dismay, he sent her away as not to offend Gia.  I think that’s pretty cool.

The next date went to Corrie who showed up in some odd outfit from the 80s.  I literally could hear Spandau Ballet playing in the background.  It was some weird mixture of long, striped dress with leggings and 3” heels.  If those sleeves had been puffed at the shoulder it would have been perfect.  Not only was the outfit a disaster, so was her date.  I’m thinking the producers had to really dig for decent footage on this one and even then most of what we saw was awkward silence.  In a rowboat.  On some weird pond.  Did I mention the 3” heels?  Yeah, interesting.  When they finished their strained boat ride, they headed to a museum for a private dinner.  Finally - some conversation between the two.  Drats.  It’s boring.  She’s a virgin and is saving herself for marriage.  Jake was perfectly fine with that, but I don’t see any kind of connection there at all.  Yawn.

Finally, little Miss Ali’s date was the last one, on the day of the rose ceremony no less.  They were in “her city” and she was going to show him around.  Really, that’s all she talked about.  She made a questionable fashion choice as well, wearing a little sundress and tall suede boots.  I’m all for boots with dresses, but this just missed the mark – by a mile.  Ali wanted to show Jake her San Francisco and took him to her neighborhood and past all her favorite places, finally settling in a park on the waterfront.  They laid out a blanket and as soon as Jake started questioning her about where she was at, Vienna immediately came up.  I just have to wonder if she’s so into this guy, why does she only talk about another girl when she’s with him.  Ali and Jake did talk somewhat about their feelings for each other and I imagine it’s hard knowing someone you like is dating four other women, but still – aren’t you there to date him?  They ended their date by running into the water with him twirling her around.  Yes, it’s that contrived.  Thank goodness Ali didn’t take those boots off, maybe now she’ll think twice about what she wears them with since they were soaked.

It was pretty clear to me who was going home this week – Corrie.  There was just no chemistry there and they really didn’t seem to have a lot to talk about.  So, she went home and genuinely seemed confused about the decision in her limo-ride confession. 

Here’s the thing – I don’t see any chemistry between any of the girls and Jake.  Well, maybe Gia, but that’s about it.  In my opinion, Jake likes Vienna the best because she’s outspoken and in your face, while he is the opposite.  He seems to need someone to start the conversation; to initiate whatever contact they are going to have.  In a word – he’s boring.  I’m sure that the girls who applied to be on this show thought they would meet their dream guy in some fantasy world.  They are competing and Jake is the prize.  It just seems strange that this guy is the guy for all the girls that showed up.  I’m sure stoked I got my prince charming the old fashioned way.

Next week are the hometown dates and, of course, the most dramatic rose ceremony ever!

Article also posted on Reality Fishbowl.