I have to confess that I am follicly challenged. Yes folks, I’m pretty bald and have been for a good long time. I gave up long, long ago trying to disguise it or compensate for it.
OK in the late 90’s a couple of times I tried to grow a ponytail but every time it would get to a length where I could start to think about putting it into a ponytail, I’d get disgusted with how hot and uncomfortable it was and whack it all off. It took about 6 months to get that long.
So for the last 10 years or so what I’ve done is get it all whacked off about every 6 weeks. Yep, a number 2 clipper all over. I quickly figured out that going to Super Cuts and spending $15-$16 to get peeled was a waste of money. So I went out and found good old fashioned barbershops. Guys cutting hair on guys. BS’ing about the Chargers or the Padres while getting clipped. Smelling the smells.
And it still cost me $10 a pop. Well, when I started going over to Ed’s barbershop rather than Butch’s it got a bit cheaper. Ed only charges $8 for a Senior Citizen rate (over 55) but I always tipped him 2 bucks so it was still a ten-spot. So, I’ve been spending $100 or so a year for the last 10 year to get peeled. And I was still trimming my beard myself—Cheap Bastid is too cheap to pay four bucks for a beard trim.
Now a while back I saw an ad in Fry’s for a hair cutting kit for $10. “Hmmmm,” I thought to myself, “that’s a lot cheaper than going to the barber.” How hard could it be to give myself a haircut, especially when it’s just getting whacked off the same length all over.
I didn’t think anything of it for a year or so and then a couple of months back I took a trip over to Fry’s to look around. The $10 clipper was crappy but the $12 clipper set was a good one. So I bought it and brought it home. A 12-piece set! Wow! Of course I only need 3 pieces—the clippers, the #2 or ¼” attachment and the little brush to clean out the clippers.
So, Cheap Bastid spent $12 and so far I’ve cut my hair 3 times. Damn, I’m money ahead already.
Now it takes a bit longer than going to the barber because of all the gyrations I have to do to give myself a haircut--especially the back of my head and my neck. And the biggest thing is it’s a bit messy and I have to go straight from cutting my hair to the shower and hope that I get all those little bitty hairs washed off—which never happens and I end up scratching until the next day.
But what the hell. Don’t I look purty? (but when did my ears get so big?) I never knew being cheap could be such hard work.