"J," "JJ," "Peanut," "Pumpkin," "Chunk Monster," "Jewels," "Julie Anne," "Julie," "Just JJ"  -  her many faces, looks and disguises.

She has oft been the subject of artists who find her beauty and quirkiness worthy of capturing in the moment.

High School Drama class, one of  the many stages for her love of performance arts.

Artsie photos for fun, JJ left with bff.

Way too young to be in high school!  My graying began.

Then the sassy short red head look so opposite the long bleached blonde hair she left behind in high school.  I love this color.

Oh dear, a very maternal "JJ" holding her first nephew.  (more grays sprouting!)

On right, "JJ's" brush with Hollywood.  Her ability to go from little girl to glam gives the double take a new meaning! (I am only blonde to hide the gray!)

Thank God this one's blurry!  College fun!

"Mom!"  It's halloween!  Chill!"  ("J" left)

Then there was the Marilyn look for a special rock concert where her main squeeze was the main attraction.  (OK, so youngest daughter is seriously dating a musician in a rock band?  Gray does not become me!)

Modeling stint in LA for college fashion show.  A little "JJ" glam.

Most recent photo, modeling makeup for a 60's event.  Back to her natural warm brown hair for now.

Even pixilated, this is a favorite look of her quiet composure and soft side.  Yet those piercing eyes are her signature in every photo.

***

There are simply moments when a mama just closes her eyes and thinks about her youngest, what she is doing, feeling...is she happy today?

What will she look like next?  She is my little chameleon, her many hair colors and styles over the years, her many faces, expressions, quirks...

She knows when to be a clown and when to be caring and focused outside herself.

She is as glamorous as anyone I have ever seen, when she so chooses to put on the Ritz.

She is as comfortable performing on stage as she is speaking at a senate hearing as a national youth leadership council member.

 She is saavy in any crowd, young or old, left or right and sustains her special brand of humor in everything.

My late life baby, now 20, is always surprising me with her energy, her sweetness, her intelligence and her beauty, inside and out.

We have a bond, a connection that is like old souls, that have walked this planet together for a very long time and always will.  Just the sound of her voice makes any day better.

***

With so many deadly serious issues facing us today, I felt the pull to turn off the news, put the paper down, the internet news on hibernation.

As I sit here alone on this pristine mountain morning, my thoughts drifted to my "JJ" and her life, past, present and future.  That can be a heavy place to be for parents but often unavoidable and frequently visited.

Maternal indulgence is not unknown to me and observed time and time again.  Writing about it is like the black outlining around colorful images in a children's coloring book.  Now, it serves to highlight and define the memories that make me smile with gushing pride.

Thanks for indulging me some of your time and understanding the mysteries of maternal love and the wonderful places they can take you, in a moment's notice.

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