FROM the BAY to the LAKE

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Cathy GF

Cathy GF
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Mt. Tam to Freel Peak, California,
Birthday
December 29
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Writer by desire. Poet by nature.
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JUNE 20, 2010 2:16PM

HOW TO (know when it is time to) SAY GOODBYE

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This is the story of how we found our dog.  More than that, it is the story of how "Nick" found us.

Nick in snow 11-21-09
 

"Nick" was 17 months when we adopted him from the Corgi breeder in Pacifica, California.  That was July 4th weekend, 1998.

After my eldest daughter recommended we get a Corgi, I searched on line to learn about a breed I knew nothing about.  Other than "Queen Elizabeth's Corgis," I had never seen one in person or known anyone who had owned one.  Kelly, said they are great family dogs, very loyal, great mountain dogs and herders.  What did I need a herding dog for?

So I looked on line and read about this curious breed and gentle dog with the face and body of a small German Shepard and itty bitty legs.  There are two kinds of Corgis, mainly:  The Welsh Pembroke Corgi without a tail (lopped at birth) and the Cardigan Welsh Corgis with long fox like tails that drag on the ground.

Of the tail-less types, I loved the "Tri-color" mix the best.  This coloring is black, white and auburn, whereas the others are all or mostly auburn.  I was completely fascinated by the breed and read about a Corgi breeder show coming to our county in May of 1998.  I was propelled to attend and see the breed first hand to determine if this was the dog for us.  This was to be our first dog since we each left our birth homes and as a married couple.

I attended the show alone and observed the qualities of the breed.  Also important to me, was to observe the breeders and to see what kind of people they were; how they treated their dogs and presented them to everyone around and not just the judges.  A perfect dog or show dog was not what I wanted.  I wanted to find a Corgi that would be the right fit for our household, already inhabited by 3 very territorial, alpha cats.  Good luck, right?!

I spoke to many breeders, learning more and soon came to realize that very few Corgis were for sale.  One breeder introduced me to another, believing she might have one for sale that wasn't  of "Show Quality."  I couldn't imagine what that meant and I had no intention of ever "showing" my dog in this world of perfectly bred dogs with impeccable lines and markings.  Not my deal.  Our family just wanted a dog to love and to become a part of our family.

I met Lorna and soon learned that she had two for sale, a male and a female.  Her male was a Tri-color and house trained already.  The female, a "ginger" and not what I was looking for, but the male had possibilities.  She would let us come to her home to meet "Nick" in about two weeks.

My husband, Billy and I drove down the coast with anticipation and excitement, much like our first date.  We couldn't wait to see Lorna's Corgis and just knew that one would be the right fit for us.  Never in our wildest imaginations did we know just how perfect a fit this dog would become.

After being lead to her back yard, where all 8 of her Corgis were hanging out, we quickly realized there were 16 eyes all fixed on us and checking us out for what was to come.  Two of the dogs were in a small enclosed area, one smaller and auburn and the other one, a Tri-color!  The latter was wagging his tail-less behind and son-of-a-gun, had the broadest smile on his face I have ever seen.  He was the one!  We asked to see him, let him smell us, pet his beautiful double fur coat and let him get to know us.

He bolted from his pen and came right up to us, with a knowingness that was both relieving and mystifying.  He languished at our feet and snuggled, sniffed and licked our hands, as if he had known us his entire seventen month life.  We clicked.

After signing the papers, receiving advice on his eating preferences and sealing the deal, we stood to leave.  Lorna gave her "Nick" some last hugs and verbal reassurances and he just simply ran past her and beyond us directly to our waiting car, complete with new kennel and soft bedding, for his ride back to the north bay and to his new home.

It all happened so fast and so easily we couldn't stop smiling.  It was like Christmas morning and the anticipation of a long awaited gift.  "Nick" was it.  He was our dog now and became a member of our family in an instant.

The life he would lead would be between two homes.  One by the Bay and one in the mountains.  He took to his new lifestyle like a duck to water.

IMG00257

Nick had a new family and didn't flinch at the site of our 3 adult cats that were filled with pure attitude.  He got it.  They were here first.  No problem.  He would manage.  And he did.  Soon after, there was another addition to the family and the one which became Nick's ultimate pal for the next eight plus years...a month old black and white Lop Earred Rabbit, whom our youngest daughter named, "Kisses."  "Kick Ass" would have been more appropriate, but "Kisses" it was.  He and "Nick" were a sight to behold and hung out together like they were joined at the hip.  "Fric and Frac."  "Nick and "Kisses."

 

untitled Nick closeup
  

Our smiling Corgi, "Nick," short for "Nick at Night," is nearly twelve years old now.  He has lived a very full Corgi life as their life expectancy is on average eight to ten years.  That is so hard to believe, for such a lively active breed and for a dog that could hardly sit still for so many years.

Our "Nicky" is so old now, by Corgi standards.  It is unbearable to see how little he moves anymore.  The rapid onset of his knees, hips and back end giving out underneath his girth, grips my heart and shreds my hope that he will ever be the same.  He is in his decline and it came on so fast.

As "Nick" was the largest of his litter, with such a big body for his short little legs, we feared how this may impair him with age.  It was only a matter of time.  With only the front half of his body working now, he collapses under his own weight with every step he takes, with such deliberate care and a look of sadness in his big golden brown eyes.  He knows he is not the same.  He can no longer go for his daily walks with mom and dad and sniff every square inch of both neighborhoods that he had come to call his own.

His beautiful thick soft fur is still shinning in the sun light where he lays on the deck most days.  He slumbers willingly, hardly moving any longer.  He weakly accepts our love and praise, the long strokes of hands through his fur, the scratches he once jumped in place for and the anticipation of playful hours around the yard, running so effortlessly; his fierce love for life and activity.

He just waits now.  We cannot bear to say it outloud, but we just wait with him.  There is nothing more we can do for our sweet doggy but simply love him as much as we can.  We prepare the special food, keep his weight down for his joints and muscles, manage his meds twice a day and keep him comfortable.

This is the time we all dread and try to deny will ever happen to our beloved pets.  This is awful and as depressing for our "Nick" as it is for our family.  Yet we know this day will come for all our precious animals that came into our lives with unmatched trust and love.  The pure affection, the unquestionable loyalty; the incredible sweetness of being.

Our three cats have all passed, one by one over the last four years and our sweet bunny died two years ago, almost to the day.  They all lived long full lives and collectively and individually, brought us so much joy.

"Nick" is still with us, but a shadow of the high energy puppy he once was.  These twelve years have gone by like a bolt of lightening, full of flashes of happy memories, companionship and the special love of a wonderful dog.

Time to go sit with "Nick" in the gentle breeze outside, the quiet of the mountains to embrace our senses, to pet his glistening fur once more and to utter sweet words of love and gratitude for choosing us to be his family.

We were the lucky ones.

 

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There is no good time to say goodbye to a beloved pet and member of the family. Hang in there, buddy.
My Grandpa had a Corgi, they loved each other so much. They are truly wonderful animals. I'm glad yours has had such a wonderful life and I'm sorry his time draws near.
It is so hard to know when that time is. I had the same dilemma with our Collie. They are such important parts of our lives and we hate to let them go. You will know the answer, this I have faith in.

Know that what you do, you do with love.
Cathy, no time is right to say 'goodbye' to a beloved pet. You were both lucky to have found each other along life's path and spend these beautiful years. Just do what you are doing and be grateful to have had him. My heart goes out to you and Nick. R
Heartbreaking. My sister and b-i-l (and grown nephew) are going through this now with their beloved Lab, Lucy. Our sweetheart of a Calico cat is 17 and still running around like a kitten, although she's totally deaf (big clue: doesn't move when the can opener hums).

We'll will do the right thing when her time comes as we have with others, which is what we're all urging for Lucy. Please, don't let beloved pets suffer because you can't bear to lose them. I know that's your goal too, it's just so hard. I feel for you guys, really.
You know well that I am with you here, girlfriend. I think it takes very brave souls to become the pet lovers to the degree many of us are because we know from the moment we let them into our homes and hearts that we will also being saying goodbye to them much, much sooner than we would like. But we do it anyway. Probably because they teach us more than we could ever learn without them. They teach us unconditional love. I'm sorry you are facing this, Cathy. You are in my prayers....
bill already had a pembroke corgi when we met. his name was merlin. they are truly wonderful little dogs whose love for their family runs very deep. peace to you on this last lap of the journey with nick. (r)
I have the dearest 18 year old--yes 18 year old--Pom who I know I will be writing about sometime very soon in this way. I feel you, I really do. They are our best little role models in so many ways, the four-leggeds in our midst. I'm thinking of you...
My heart is saddened for you. After losing my last four-legged best friend, I can't bring myself to bring another into our lives. It is so difficult; bless you and your family as you delight in what time you have left with Nick.

R~
I know how you feel
Cathy, I know how you are feeling. I am going through this with one of my cats right now. It's very hard. Nick is truly a beautiful Corgi.
Beautiful dog. It so hard to let them go though.
Cathy, They are with us for too short a time, but they shine so brightly, do they not? When its time, some of them let us know.

One of my favorite things is to sit with LJ sometimes and remember the greatness in all the beloved dogs who have let us live with them.
Be well dear friend.
Hugs and love to you Cathy! And paws for Nick. You are not alone, we are in the same place with Peanut. No matter when we lose them, the pain is crushing, but I think of it this way: It hurts, but the love we share with them outweighs the pain of saying goodbye. (I tell myself that everyday)

Hold your boy and just love him. xoxo

-R-
So many animals in my life; so much sadness when they go. Enjoy the time you have with him, and imprint it on your memory. R-
“Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really.”

Someone named Carlotta Monterey O'Neill said that; and ain't it true? My heart goes out to you, your sweet Nick and your family. My "olden Golden" just turned 12 in November, so I'm already actively dreading the day that we'll have to say our farewells to our lovely girl. In the meantime, I savor every day and hour with her, as I'm sure you do with Nick.
Nick clearly knew a good family when he saw you. or at least, got a whiff of you and decided he wanted to come live with you.

Having been there all too recently and all too soon, I know how hard it is to watch a beloved animal suffer--you have all my empathy and compassion in facing the possibility of having to say farewell to Nick, Cathy. I know my sister's Corgi, Maddy of blessed memory had the same problem of her back end ceasing to work at the end of her life. My sister grieved for her for a long time. Give Nick some gentle pats from me, and tell him again, what a good dog he is.

(Whew, I was so worried you were flouncing, after reading the title!)
J Cathy...what a lovely friend and pet you have. So giving with their unconditional love. My Chuckie is in doggie heaven, he was terminal from the beginning. A year and a half of us being in love with each other!. I wrote about him. No, don't read it, now. But later, when the time comes, you can make his passing comfortable.
I know, it broke my heart, but I had warning. People can laugh if they like, but I believe creatures were put on earth for our growth and love too, so why shouldn't they be included in after life? If that's bubble-pretend- world-thinking, then just call me "Bubbles"! Hang in there!
Nick and I have had a very peaceful day together. He loves being close but hardly moved from under the patio table all day. There was a time so recently when he would barely be away from my side. More accurately, he would be laying on my feet, not at them. He is perplexed and forlorn, as am I.

Thank you all so very much for your sweet comments of concern and support. Not going far from Nick today, this was a real comfort and very appreciated. xoxo
Condolences. You have my sympathies and were I religious, you would have my prayers as well.
animals arrive and i start counting the expiration date. i've got to decide if i can take the losses any more because it is inevitable. the older i get, the harder it is to contemplate, but they are a renewable source of lavished love i'm not used to doing without. we love our fur babies.
What a handsome fella. What would we be without our pets. They do become family and it breaks many hearts when they go. When that happens, I try to focus on the good times, just like with the humans we lose.
Pets make life so much richer. The responsibility they bring seems to foster a new kind of love within so many of us. I am forever grateful for my fox wire hair terrier. She is now 9, and a real part of the family! R
I'd love to read your post, but I can't. The one thing I can't face in life is the death of a pet. I walk out of movies where a dog dies. I lost two dogs, one day apart in the Spring of 2000. I cried like nothing I ever want to feel again. I support you. I endorse you. I know what you have to say is profound. But if I read it, I will cry in a heap all night.
It saddens me when people say things like "She's just a dog." That statement tells me this person has never had a canine member of their family. I look at my Bichon sometimes and wonder how I will ever survive her loss. I'm so sorry Cathy.
Lezlie
Those of us with pets really feel your pain, Cathy. All the best.
So sorry, Cathy.
I do know how hard this is. All of us who love animals know. I'd say you were all lucky to have each other.
No good time? I think there is. And you'll reward his love and trust by doing right by him....when the time comes. Lovely story.
It is never easy to say good bye to our beloved animals is it? But to bear them suffering isn't any better a solution. There isn't any easy answer to what a family can bear, some people will go to the vets office and say, "it's time". We know our animal is suffering, others just can't bring themselves to put their dog down, so they wait until the dog or cat dies.It happened to us with our one dog, it was awful.I feel for you and hope that your dog can only know how very lucky he was to have you for such great parents and caregivers. I know he will no longer be in pain, once he is running around over the rainbow bridge.
What a handsome guy! I love Corgi's they are so cool.
As a dog lover I feel your pain. It's the worst part of having any pet.
Focus on all you have had with him.
Sounds like he has been a good match for your family.
My heart aches for you and your family.
I know...I know.

we lost our tooty (petunia) this past november. she had not come through dental surgery well and she had other issues that all came to the fore simultaneously. she rallied and then she didn't. we were lucky as she died here one night at my feet. I couldn't stand to put her down, but I would have had she had told me to. they do tell you when they can't go on.

your boy seems peaceful. I hope he continues to sleep and wake and eat and live what's left of his life with love and perhaps he will pass in his sleep. or he will tell you when he can't bear it any longer. that's a tough one, but it will be the right thing to do. because we love them so much, when we finally do make that choice on their behalf, it is the right time because we usually wait until we're sure they're in pain or frightened.

my oliver had cancer and for two days he was ill, but the last day he gave up. and I knew it was time.

you will know. trust me. you'll hate it. but you'll know it's the kind loving thing to do.

until then, enjoy him and love him, as I know you're doing. don't feel guilt. don't anticipate death. just be in the moment with him.

my heart to you sweetie. to you all.
Oh, Nick is such a sweet dog. I'm sorry that this is going on, it's so hard to lose a pet, to know when is the most merciful time to let them go. My heart is with all of you during this time. Nick is a part of the family and it's just so terribly hard. My heart is with you!
All the outpouring of loving comments is making me tear up this morning. Can't thank you all enough for your encouragement and support.

Foolish Monkey - Your words really resonate with where I am at right now and I thank you so much.

Mary - Yours, too, as you know our Nicky and what a viable, healthy, happy dog he's been. I don't know if he'll make it to the reunion or not.
oh, Gee, I'm so sorry. I have tears in my eyes. It's a lovely tribute to a wonderful family member. Blessings be with you and Nick.
Sending loving thoughts to you all, Cathy. I know how hard it is . . .
How sweet and sad. Their lives are brief flashes of light, gone all too quickly.
Makes me think of the saying "It's a good day to die."

I've always interpreted that to mean that you have lived your life, have done your best, and are facing what is coming in the best way you can manage. Our critters are like that, they give their all unstintingly, and so any day for them is a 'good day to die'.

It's just us, left behind to hurt. I reached a conclusion some time back with so many furry ones having passed through my life. Our pets don't fear death - if they fear anything at all they fear leaving us behind. The best we can do is try to make sure they know that we're as ready to let them go on as we can manage to be.

The minutes are precious now, absorb each one.

Rated for those beautiful old gray faces.
There is nothing on earth like the love of a good dog. Hugs to you and Nick, Cathy.
*sniffle* they are our babies
I first knew and loved Corgis as a kids when some family friends had them. very sweet dogs.

I'm sorry you are losing your animal friend. It is wonderful that we can do them the kindness of easing their way out of this life by giving them a painless, quick death. (Many humans wish they could have the same, but it's still difficult to obtain.) It's never easy but often the most loving thing we can ever do.
Cathy, my wife and I have had Pembroke Corgis for more than 20 years, you're absolutely right, they're wonderful dogs. They were bred for herding horses and cattle and have the personality and the intelligence for the job.

All I can say is make sure he's comfortable and knows he's loved and let him go easily when the time comes. Lord, I'm actually tearing up from the memories while I type this.
Poor pup, its so sad when they grow old and have to leave us
Cathy, it never is easy. Thank you for telling us about Nicky. I am glad you have time to say 'good bye'. And in the sadness, perhaps you know that Nicky has a distant relative that would like to share your home. Your loyal pal would understand - and undoubtedly approve.
This brings back memories of the terrible time 10 years ago when we had to say goodbye to our Welsh Corgi (a Cardigan) after 15 years as a member of the family. It is such a difficult thing to do, but you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt when it is time. He will let you know, too.

We loved our Corgi so much that we bought a second one (another Cardigan) nearly 5 years ago. He is a wonderful dog. As long as you don't mind the shedding!
Shedding? What shedding? Actually we're saving Boris and Natasha's hair up. Karen figures that she'll be able to knit us another dog in a year or two.

BTW - Cathy, the two in the avatar are sable on red, kind of unusual. You usually get sable on fawn.
Procopious and John Leonard - SHEDDING? Oh my! The breeder said only 2 times a year!?!? What? More like 2 times an hour! Ours only sheds the white and we have wood floors, mainly. Like little dust bunnies all dressed up in fur!
I love corgis. I have had two...they do have special personalities. When the first one was sick and weak with crippling arthritis,I remember just telling her that she did not have to guard me anymore. I told her she was free to go and she died a week later from an enlarged heart. It was a condition that we did not know about.
It's OK Cathy, they only shed the dark hair on the bed. Which would, of course, be because we have a light quilt. They reserve the fluffy, white underhair for dark jackets and skirts.
You are right, Cathy. I never was, nor will I ever be good at losing dear ones. R
Cathy, your family is the kind every breeder hopes for. As a breeder of Havanese and Russian Bolonkas, I am cheered to hear what a wonderful life Nick has led. I know you will have the strength and love to make the right decision when the time comes. Please think of us on Thursday when we have to make a similar decision.
You are always great at these heart tugging stories. God Bless you. Come take a peek at my sketches for a client of Ballet at my website.
Your endearing comments mean so much to me. Ya gotta love animal lovers, which is the majority of the population. Maybe if we could give a puppy to every terrorist on the planet there would be world peace. Naive, maybe, but just a thought.

Just know that I take all your kind wishes into this day with me, as Nick and I leave the mountains and return to the Bay for 9 days. We'll see how he does at sea level for a while before returning to Tahoe for a long Fourth of July weekend.

As "Ellen" says on a daily basis, "Right back atcha!" xoxo
Dang, Cathy. I swore I wasn't going to cry. But I am. We have had many dogs in our life and each died of old age and their decline and death were devastating. Because our dogs were large -- one a St. Bernard -- we usually had to put them to sleep because of their suffering.

You were obviously a match made in heaven. Your descriptions of how you got Nick are so beautifully fashioned from your beautiful heart. Darn, Cathy, it's morning and my mascara is running already. Great job and worthy EP! Love, Joan
I've been hesitating making a decision about my girl for a few weeks now. At sixteen, she's showing signs of canine dementia but does not seem to be in pain. I want to do what's best for her and not what is convenient for me. So hard to know! Pets are our "forever" babies.
R
Condolences on the lost of your much loved little buddy!
Letting go is always hard. Hugs to you Cathy.
Such a sad and difficult time, Cathy. I'm so sorry.
It is never easy when our animals get older. We have seen three dedicated golden retrievers leave us and it hurts every time we think of them and their special personalities. I suffer even when we loose a barn cat. Just lost my precious barn cat of 13 years. It is when they become so much a part of you that makes it so hard. When I lost my Morgan Horse of 25 yrs, I cried for days. He is buried at Pine Hill Equine & Pet Cemetery in Bowie Texas. They all will go to Rainbow Ridge. Thank you for your touching story.
Take comfort in this...he knows he is loved and always will be. It is our sad duty to help our friends across the Rainbow Bridge when the time is come. And yes...a tough old cynic like myself does REALLY believe in the Rainbow Bridge. I know damn few people who deserve a happy place to go after this life...but damn few dogs who don't.
Just Cathy,

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings about Jake.

As you already know, writing about difficult transitions like this one, as well as sharing your beloved Jake's story with others, is an act of healing. Those who lose a beloved pet often don't get the support they need, since society hasn't fully embraced the importance of the human-animal bond. It takes people like you to let others know that it's okay, and psychologically healthy, to openly grieve for their animal friends. Your story will also help folks in the same situation, those already grieving, or the rest who know the day will come someday.

You've helped me too. My family chose the "good death" for my old cat-man Nomad three years ago. He was a few months short of his eighteenth birthday--a long, good kitty life, for sure, but I wish he could have stayed a while longer. But we owed him the gift of peace and freedom from cancer. Keeping him longer would have been selfish and cruel. He had always been there for us, with that supernatural animal power all good pets share--the one that lightens the load of the always-weary human animal. With our pets we can be ourselves, fully and without apology. They are teachers that ground us with the lesson that we are never separate from nature, no matter how many cities we build or roads we pave.

Now our old man Rascal, a twelve-year-old Pomeranian, is having some age-related health problems, so it won't be long before we must let go of another good friend. You're right; there will never be a good time to say goodbye. But our friends deserve the best care from us, even if it's release from this world. They always gave their best to us, without hesitation. May we all be strong, and never hesitate, when their time comes. They would do the same for us, if they could.

Take care and treasure your last days with Jake. I know he'll live forever in your heart. *HUGS*

~Karen
I had tears in my eyes before I reached the end of your story. It drives home the point that pets pick us, we don't pick them. The joy and love they bring to our lives cannot be measured. Sniff.. sniff :(