"And beasts of the field..." a lithograph in my cabin dated 1975.

 The sleepless hours left a crumbling mind

of body and soul, aching to leave it behind.

The words spoken could never be taken back,

leaving the memories still fresh, so little time to pack.

Was this really it or was it a game?

Could I look in the mirror without feeling the shame?

Scrambling, rambling thoughts;

heart pounding so loud.

Should have been the very day

I would be feeling so proud.

Think not of the things we cannot control,

it only serves to frustrate and point

to the things we so often stole.

Stolen reality, blindly pursuing the prize,

At what cost we failed to see

that which came as dull surprise.

Going through the motions,

putting everything in order.

What more can be said that hasn't already been rendered useless.

Sorrowful, sinful, regretfully yours...

are the stinging effects oozing from all my pores.

That was another day, another year, so very long ago.

Today is only a glimpse back at a time I no longer know.

They niggle, resurface, remind one anew; they taunt.

However we manage to heal, repatch, keep the promises we show...

time and time again.

We naturally welcome the coming new day

with hopes and prayers we so often say;

that heal us and bind us before the coming fray.

It is always there in living color to see,

the good and the bad, the shifts that are there for me.

The days when life seems only black and white,

right from wrong, darkness and light.

The choices we must identify and ultimately make,

Taking the good with the bad, not always a piece of cake.

Thus having your cake and eating it, too...

stuffing it, craving it, disobeying it, till we are through,

time and time again.

Give me trouble free days and sleep filled nights.

Keep me safe from all harm, the meaningless fights.

Voices inside me competing for my sanity and peace of mind,

Release them all, set me free, leave them all behind.

I can choose that which makes my will my own desire

and keep me from the ills and ravages of an eternal fire.

Tis Heaven I see right here before me, each day I open my eyes.

So open to embracing all that is bountiful, wholesome and good.

So vital is this that I have come to realize...

Time after time...after time.