I was twelve years old.

My mom told me I was being allowed to go on a ten day camping trip with our neighbors, to a well known national park.

I was confused.  Why and how did this come up?  I had to go with them in three days?

They had no kids.  I would be the only kid with this couple that mom and dad liked a lot and apparently trusted with their daughter.  Still weird.

They must have thought this was a really cool thing for me to do but they didnt't realize that I didn't want to go all by myself.   This seemed odd.

Eldest of seven kids, they were sending me off on this trip with the neighbors.  The couple that wanted to take me along, but why?

To this day, I still don't know why they wanted to take me.  Did they feel sorry for mom and dad having all those kids and all?  I did, too.  Seven kids.  Really?

So I went with them.  Camping.  For real.  Along a river, which was pretty neat.  And pretty woodsy.  Smelled really good and fresh.  I loved the smell of the campfire the most.

But it wasn't very much fun for me.  They were really strict and wouldn't let me out of their sight.  I wasn't allowed to roam off too far and explore or play with other kids that were camping nearby.

It was getting very boring. I was pretty much all by myself most of the time and expected to be having a really good time.  It made me sad.

Going on this trip was supposed to be some big privilege and I was expected to be very grateful.  But, I wasn't.  I missed home so much and wondered why mom and dad made me go.  I wanted to go home.  But I couldn't.  Not until the trip was done.

The childless couple wanted me to go off and do things, as long as I didn't go too far away from them.  They wanted to be able to see me so that wasn't very far at all.  They wanted me to go away from them at times, so I felt like they weren't really sure what I was supposed to do with myself.

They told me not to go down to the river, but there was nothing else to do. I was drawn to the water and it wasn't deep or scary or anything.  It just flowed down stream and looked so clean and peaceful.

Lots of people were down by the river.  Here and there.  Some of them were fishing or just sitting there.  It looked so inviting.

I was warned about quick sand but wasn't so sure what that meant.  Just that it was very dangerous and I couldn't go anywhere near the part of the river where the quick sand was said to be.

Guess I didn't believe them.  

One day, I wandered down to the beautiful river looking back towards our camp site every few steps along the way.  They seemed to be busy doing other stuff, not noticing me going farther away from their site.  Once, I saw the woman looking in my direction.  Then, the husband yelled at me not to go any closer to the river.  So, I said, "OK!"

Then I went closer to the river.  Took off my shoes and stepped into the cool water.  Just a little ways.  I walked a few feet into the deepening water and oh how it felt so soft and cool around my ankles.

The slimy sand beneath my feet was slippery and squishy.  But it also felt really good.  I took a few more steps towards the middle of the narrow river.  The water rushed by me a little more now, startling me.

I looked back towards our tent but I couldn't see it.  Guess I had gone a bit farther than I first thought.  A few more steps and I would just turn around and go back.

I soon struggled as the sand I was in was sinking under my feet.  Couldn't be.  I felt my feet sucked deeper into the sand in the river which was flowing around my knees now.  I tried to lift my feet and move away from the deep sand to make my way back to the shore.  I couldn't lift my feet.

I tried again and again.  No one was close to me and I started to feel sick. My heart bagan to beat faster and I thought for a moment I was imagining it.   I really couldn't be sinking in quick sand, could I?  

Tried again and again.  My feet and legs felt very heavy and immovable. Now, I was getting really scared.  This wasn't funny and I wished that I had never disobeyed the neighbors that were being so nice to me by taking me on this special trip.  Mom and dad would be so mad at me when they found out what I had done.

Looking for anyone that could help me; seeing no one, I began to call for help.  I heard my frail and frightened voice calling for anyone that might hear me.  It seemed like several minutes of wondering if anyone heard me, while I was sinking in this soft, slimy sand, surrounding my thighs.  

This was really scary, now.  

Pretty soon after I thought no one heard me calling, a man came running into the river with a long stick.  He was yelling at me to grab hold of it and he was clearly angry.  I heard someone say that I had been warned not to go in the river and had not listened.  More voices now were rushed and upset.  I knew I was in trouble.

The man came closer to me with the long stick  yelling for me to reach out and pull.  So I did.  I had no strength in my legs for some reason and felt quite helpless.  The yelling continued, as I tried to move my legs while they seemed to sink deeper in the silky sand.  

Frantic voices were all around me now.  Others had come down to the river where I had been forbidden to come.  The neighbor couple was there now and yelling at me.  They were very upset and repeated to the others that they had warned me not to come near this place.

They got me out.  All were angry while I sat on the ground, wet, shamed and all alone. 

The next morning the neighbors were packing up everything and looking mad.  We were going home five days early.  It was my fault.  I wasn't the perfect kid they thought I was and I was in trouble.  My parents were going to be so disappointed.  Guess I was in for it.

I tried to talk to them but they ignored me.  It was a very silent drive all the way home. 

The looks on my mom and dads faces when I arrived home was one of total disbelief and disappointment.  That was the worst part of all.  I didn't mean to be bad.  I just got so bored and wanted to know what was so terrible about the gentle river I longed to be near.  How can we camp so close to it and not be able to feel its' cool waters...?

~

I find myself watching the news of late, wondering what deep and dangerous waters lie ahead for this nation. 

Can it be that our fate is in the hands of the men and women on Capital Hill who will decide for us what can or cannot be done to preserve our future well being? 

Will we surrive this ruin of a once thriving, proud country of hard working, hopeful ciizens?  Is this the damning blow that will change our lives forever?  

Are we a ship lost at sea, grasping for a compass that no longer finds direction or a course to set things right?

Are we sinking into an unknown abyss where no one comes out ahead?

Have we lost our foundation or was it built on sand after all?  

~

I read to my precious grandchildren, a story they long to hear.  The three grown up piggies, who set out to build their own houses, bidding their dear mother farewell. 

One piggie chooses golden straw to build his home.

One piggie chooses long sturdy branches to build his home.

One piggie chooses bricks to build his home.

One big bad wolf blows the first two down and eats the piggies all up.

The third piggie outsmarts the big bad wolf and catches him coming down the chimney.  The big bad wolf is caught in a caldren of boiling hot water and is...no more.

The smart piggie goes fishing.

But what of the other two piggies?

Why did they choose so unwisely?

Had they not all been raised the same?

Shouldn't they all have built one strong house of bricks together and fooled the big bad wolf?

Did they have too many choices or did they simply want to prove their worth in their own way?

Mother Piggie must have been devastated by the loss of her two eaten piggies; or was she merely proud to have at least one piggie who surrvived?

~

I turn off the news and lay in wonder.  Fairy tales and horror.  Rivers and mystery.  Privilege or fear.

No longer a little girl standing in the river, I find myself once again, staring at the quick sand.

It is invisible.

We are not.

They are all looking at us.

Wondering what we will do next.

Will we let them all down?

Will we do the right thing?

Will we even know how?

~