I think we should ask Republican candidates who are running against the new health care law to pledge that if elected they will not accept the generous public option health care plan offered to all members of Congress.

If publicly funded health care is so wrong, so catastrophic, so contrary to capitalist values and ruinous to democracy that no American should ever have it, then the Republicans should be proud to pledge that they won’t accept it, either.   

As a taxpayer, I do not mind contributing to health insurance for representatives who are truly attempting to provide decent, affordable health care for everyone else, too. But I do object to contributing to free public health care for Republicans who are trying to repeal and discredit any attempt whatsoever to protect health care for other people.

 They can give the money to deficit reduction, or maybe to help veterans of the wars that weren't paid for back when big deficits were considered patriotic. No law or regulation needs to be changed, it should be strictly voluntary for representatives to opt in or out of public health care options (which is more of a chance than they gave us).  I should think it would be a matter of honor for these people who despise government's role in health care to reject it totally for themselves. 

 So, also, should demanding this pledge be a matter of honor for voters who identify themselves as Tea Partiers or others radically opposed to public funds being used to help the public.

 But the pledge is not just for the Republicans posing as radical extremists, or the ones who actually are radical extremists but are too dim to realize it. The pledge should also be taken by the Republicans posing as just reasonable, common sense folks. The one running in my district, for example, says he only wants to substitute his nice, quiet (toothless, tiny) little reforms for the current law which “taxes the insured to pay for the uninsured.” This is one of those typical deft Republican distortions designed to convince people they're not getting anything from health care reform, they’re just paying for poor people -- as if "the insured", be they rich, poor or in-between, can't turn into the "uninsured" as fast as you can say “diagnosis”, which they can, if you let the insurers make all the rules.  But if the Republicans don’t believe that, let them take the pledge.

 I’ve been thinking about the wording of the pledge. How about something like:

 “As you all know, during my campaign for the Congress or Senate I have made it clear that I consider the recent health care reform law un-American. So if it's un-American for other Americans to get decent health care not entirely subject to a for-profit company's business objectives, naturally it would be un-American for me to accept what I am told is an extremely generous health care plan paid for by taxpayers. I pledge that I will never take one dime of public money for my health care. (I do intend to keep the very large pensions and other free benefits that would continue for my lifetime. I am trying to overthrow many major parts of the government, but certainly not that part.) 

 I am sure one of the insurance companies helping to fund my campaign will be only too happy to make me an excellent deal on a private policy, and will stick with me through thick and thin, no matter how catastrophic the illness or injury that might befall me or a member of my family during my term of office or afterwards, or how wildly expensive the treatment starts getting, because, as we have recently been reminded, corporations are exactly the same as individual humans, mainly motivated by compassion, loyalty and personal warmth.

 But I am a Republican, and I don’t really need any help from anybody, did Thomas Jefferson need any help? He got in his crops and had a fabulous garden and still had time to found a nation. I don’t even really need insurance of any kind, and you can’t make me. I am going to stand with all those courageous Americans who will be liberated when I repeal that Stalinist individual mandate thing, free and happy and proud to pay for any medical expenses completely out of our own pockets. We eat right and exercise and maintain healthy weights, what could go wrong? Anyway, I would not be running for Congress if I thought money would be a problem.

 Any public money that might have been spent providing me with health care should be returned to the treasury, but I would prefer it not to be used for anything except tax cuts, and I mean for everybody, we can’t be fooled into determining who’s rich and who’s not merely by looking at how much money they have.  The only truly American place for tax revenues to go in a democracy is into subsidies for wealthy people and multi-national corporations, because they provide all the jobs for the rest of you. Or I'm sure they will start to provide you some jobs just as soon as they are able to get me mine.

 Taking tax money from billionaires for any national public purpose is very, very wrong and should be avoided if at all possible. We call that redistributing wealth. Taking your tax money and directing it to billionaires gives you much more bang for the buck. They – I mean “we” – call that taking back our country! It is not redistributing wealth because, seriously, on your paycheck, that is not really “wealth.” The more tax cuts we can give to the top, oh, let’s say one percent, the more opportunity your children will have in the future as chauffeurs and landscape maintenance personnel. If you don’t understand this distinction now, believe me, once my friends and I are elected, you will.

 So, not for myself but for you and your children and their futures as American bodyguards and personal assistants and housekeepers (rich people have lots of houses, jobs, jobs, jobs), I am categorically rejecting a generous, well-organized, efficiently run health insurance plan with hundreds of thousands of satisfied users and a number of different public options, and if I am elected, so help me God I pledge to do my utmost to make sure none of you will ever have one, either.”

 You first, Republicans. Pledge to repeal your own publicly funded health care before you start repealing ours.