Hold Your Horse

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Kimberly Manky

Kimberly Manky
December 31
I enjoy eating, drinking, spotting rare birds, and dreaming big dreams. I recently decided that the only thing stopping me from being an "actual writer" is actually writing. Here goes nothing. Thank you for taking the time to read my online comedic musings. You are a wonderful human being, never forget that.


Kimberly Manky's Links

MAY 8, 2013 6:45PM

The Cryer

I’m not talking about the actor “Jon”, who played “Duckie” in John Hughes’ classic romantic comedy about a teenage girl from the “wrong side of the tracks” who falls in love with a boy from the “right side of the tracks” called, PrettyRead full post »

MAY 8, 2013 6:42PM

The Cryer

I’m not talking about the actor “Jon”, who played “Duckie” in John Hughes’ classic romantic comedy about a teenage girl from the “wrong side of the tracks” who falls in love with a boy from the “right side of the tracks” called, PrettyRead full post »

MARCH 22, 2013 12:31AM

The Funeral

So, I’m possibly Jewish. And I’m super excited about possibly being a Jew. I have always felt Jewish, so I wasn’t at all surprised when I found out that I was possibly Jewish.

It was May 2, 2009. The whole family had gathered in Chilliwack, British Columbia for my uncle Carl’s… Read full post »

MARCH 13, 2013 12:41AM

The Fish

“You catch ‘em, you clean ‘em”. He said it just like that: stern, firm, and exasperated. Of course we didn’t know that before “we” baited our hooks, (which we also did not do). “We” in this case means my Dad, as my sister and I shielded our e/… Read full post »

MARCH 13, 2013 12:39AM

The Crush

We bought a Toyota Prius last week. We just moved to Los Angeles, and we needed a means of transportation to get us from point A to point B. I wanted to buy a bicycle built for two, but the husband said “no”. You know how people say you can never… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 27, 2013 4:25PM

The Ideas

Someone not very wise (however, in this particular instance, was wise) once told me that I shouldn’t get so protective of my ideas. He (or she) said that ideas should be shared. He (or she) said that if someone takes your idea and claims it as their own you should feel… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 27, 2013 4:24PM

The Cold

I’m tough. I’m hearty. I’m thick. I grew up in Northern British Columbia, the daughter of a humble llama farmer named Stan (which automatically makes me humble).

Where we lived, it wasn’t unusual for the temperature to drop to -32° Celsius  (-26° Fahrenheit). When… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 27, 2013 4:23PM

The Blouse

My lucky blouse

My lucky blouse

“Blouse” is such a gross word to me. It conjures up images of ill-fitting, non-breathable, printed polyester. It’s up there with “brassiere”, “panties”, “moist” and “Voldemort” as the top five words that should… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 27, 2013 4:22PM

The Schnitzel

My Dad’s favourite food is schnitzel: that hammered, egged, breaded, fried boneless escalope made from the flesh of either a pig or a baby cow.

“If schnitzel’s on the menu, I don’t need a menu,” said my Dad Stan, very loudly to the way-too perky waitress at a very small… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 27, 2013 4:22PM

The Suggestions

My mom called me last Wednesday night to catch up. I’ve moved house (and city, and country) and she was anxious to hear how it was all going. I told her it was going well, and I was enjoying my new house, my new city, and my new country.

After the… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 27, 2013 4:21PM

The Honeymoon Period

When you first get married it’s all, “I love you!”, “You are my angel!”,  “I want to get intimate with you!”, and “Can I rub your feet?” It’s called the “Honeymoon period”, and it’s the amount of time between the weddi… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 27, 2013 4:20PM

The Wedding Present

My sister and her husband have been married almost 14 years, and have been together about 20 years. I cannot imagine knowing and liking a person for 20 years (sorry, husband of nine years, but thems the truth). 20 years seems excessive. I don’t know how they’ve managed to hang o/… Read full post »

DECEMBER 14, 2012 8:21AM

The Penmanship

I have always been known for my penmanship. In 1986, 1987, 1988, 1990, and 1991 I was awarded ‘Best Penmanship’ at Dragon Lake Elementary School’s annual award ceremony (in 1989 I was going through some stuff). I still have the certificates, and they hang with pride in 14-carat gold… Read full post »

DECEMBER 14, 2012 8:16AM

The Truth

I believed in Santa Claus until I was 12 years old. I believed that a jolly fat man who lived at the North Pole and was married to Mrs. Claus was watching my every move to determine whether I was going to be on the naughty or nice list. I believed… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 28, 2012 2:24PM

The Queue

In North America they call it a line-up. In England they call it a ‘queue’, and they are very serious about it. So serious in fact, that queue rage affects 47% of Britons. That’s right,violent, passionate anger bubbles up inside nearly half of the British population w/… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 19, 2012 8:27AM

The Sneeze

So I’m sitting in a seat on the tube playing Settlers of Catan on my phone. I have three ore and two wheat – not to mention all the sheep, wood and brick you could shake a stick at (or better yet, build a settlement with). I roll the dice (actually,Read full post »

JULY 9, 2012 8:31AM

The Tweeters

I don’t tend to follow rules, or follow the crowd, or follow up a compliment with a polite ‘thank you’. I do ‘follow’ 100 Tweeters. Tweeters being the only word I can come up with to define all of them: celebrities, comedians, chefs, bands, writers, organisations, a/Read full post »

JUNE 6, 2012 11:49AM

The Barf Bag Ripper

I love airports. I love checking in, dropping my bags, going through security, taking off my belt and shoes, and getting a pat down. I love going to the Duty Free, sampling alcohol in the Duty Free, trying on sunglasses in the Duty Free, and leaving the Duty Free with aRead full post »

APRIL 11, 2012 2:06PM

The Rhodes Airport (and the Meavage)

We arrived at the Rhodes airport (RHO) at 10pm. It seemed nice enough: bright, expansive, plenty of room for a flash mob. But there was no flash mob, just a queue for Tor Air that heaved with hundreds of angry passengers. Our flight back to London was delayed by two hours.Read full post »

APRIL 2, 2012 2:10PM

The Leather Pants

My parent’s house is in the middle of nowhere, 17 kilometers from the nearest town in the middle of nowhere – nowhere being a small town in Northern British Columbia with a higher than the National average cancer diagnoses for its residents, and three pulp mills to prove it.


Read full post »
MARCH 26, 2012 5:41AM

The Pie

The pie is certainly an underrated food item. The fact that it is comprised of delicious, flaky, buttery pastry and contains either sweet and savoury fillings should secure its place in regional cuisine the world over, yet it seems that only the Brits have really embraced this baked treat and continuRead full post »

MARCH 12, 2012 5:20AM

The Sausage

I am a vegetarian. For the most part anyway. Like most vegetarians (or so I’m told), I really enjoy eating pork products (bacon, spareribs, chops and pork tenderloin with an apple sage stuffing) and especially, sausage.

When I booked a surprise trip to Bavaria for my husband’s birthday, IRead full post »

MARCH 3, 2012 7:47AM

The Avocado

‘You don’t like avocados.’

‘Oh.’ And I believed her, because she told me. All the time.

My mother gently placed a small, ripe avocado in the shopping cart and steered it through the small produce section of our local Safeway. The year was 1987.

‘How about some applRead full post »

FEBRUARY 10, 2012 7:37AM

The (Moldy) Pretzel

On November 24, 2005 (Michelle's 30th birthday, in fact) we gathered at her house for a games night like any other. There would be games (Pictionary was a favourite), snacks (any corn or potato product, fried), and mayhem (shouting, laughing, bum cupping). The Cruise Group was in effect.

Kari opened… Read full post »

MARCH 4, 2011 10:40AM

The Laufmaschine

It all started with a German (of course), as all arrogant ideas of superiority do.

Baron Karl von Drais is credited with inventing the earliest form of bicycle, the Laufmaschine or, running machine, which consisted of a wooden frame with two wheels that was pushed with one’s feet. The/Read full post »