Today, as I read about the Indian court decriminalizing consensual gay sex, I was reminded of a conversation between my aunt and me in 1986.  My aunt, then about 55, was visiting me in the Bay Area.

 “What’s all this homosexuality-kemosexuality business? I think there’s a big problem in this country,” she said, referring to the United States, the icon of all western debauchery. “There’s absolutely no homosexuality in India!” she stated matter-of-factly.  She was watching television at the time and she wouldn’t take her eyes off the screen where they were discussing the events surrounding a gay parade in San Francisco.  Aunt was well read, very well spoken and worldly-wise.  She watched the news, was into fiction in a big way, read the daily newspaper and was fluent in English, Hindi, Malayalam and Oriya.

 At the time I told my aunt that she was entirely wrong and that, of course, there were homosexuals the world over, and that just because we didn’t know any personally, it didn’t mean they didn’t exist in India. My aunt, like all aunts who defy their nieces, wanted proof and statistics which, of course, I couldn’t give her right then and there since there was no Google to prod and rev me into action. So I safely diverted the subject of discussion to food and we began debating whether we should use basmati or long-grain rice for vegetable pilaf for the evening’s dinner. But that evening’s conversation stuck with me as my own opinions on the gay rights issue evolved and molted over the years.

 Ritu Primlani, the founder and executive director of Thimmakka's Resources for Environmental Education in Oakland, California, who happens to be a lesbian, sees where my aunt comes from. “TALKING about homosexuality is a Western phenomenon,” she clarifies, adding, however, that PRACTISING homosexuality is very much an Indian preoccupation. “It goes down to the times of the Kamasutra.” 

Today I regret not having had better comebacks to my aunt in the eighties. Wasn’t my aunt aware of the Hindu deity Ardhanari, an androgynous deity composed of Shiva and his consort Shakti, representing the synthesis of masculine and feminine energies? Hinduism, I could have told her, was full of many religious narratives with stories of sex or romantic affection between figures of the same gender. Wasn’t Ayyappa the son of Shiva (a male God) and Vishnu (another male God but in the incarnation of an enchantress)?

Primlani and others like her are excited that the Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code was repealed in the Delhi High Court. “The progress or civilization of a society is not measured by GDP or how 'hip' you look.  It is more to do with wisdom and allowing for diversity.  My uncles and aunties in India have more than surpassed the kindness and love with which they have supported me.  I wish for everyone in India to realize that the freedom to choose is true freedom - as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.”  

There is enough evidence in the animal kingdom to support the theory that homosexuality is natural.  The pairing of same sex couples had previously been observed in more than 1,000 species including penguins, dolphins and primates. In June 2009, two scientists wrote a review of existing research and published it in the journal Trends in Ecology and Evolution. They found that the phenomenon is not only widespread but part of a necessary biological adaptation for the survival of the species. On the Hawaiian island of Oahu, a third of the Laysan albatross population is raised by pairs of two females because of the shortage of males. Through these 'lesbian' unions, Laysan albatross are flourishing. 

Homosexuality in India has long been synonymous with a sense of shame and repression. The Indian Penal Code, of which Section 377 forms a part, was drafted in 1860 by Lord Macaulay as a part of the colonial project of regulating and controlling the subjects of British and Indian origin. After 159 years, the overturn of the ruling has been long overdue even though it may not make a dent on the minds of religious fundamentalists.  

“India as a country needs to know the difference between rapists and homosexuals. As to it changing anything, social reform is often disjointed from legal reform,” says Primlani.  "And gay people are certainly full members of society, and deserve the same respect that other people do.” 

Two decades later, I wonder how my aunt would react today to several of my very smart and accomplished friends and professional acquaintances of Indian origin being openly gay or lesbian. 

This evening when I call my aunt, who is well into her seventies,   I will tell her to read Minal Hajratwala’s exquisite book titled “Leaving India”.  I won’t tell my aunt that, towards the end of the book, Hajratwala discusses her inner battles with her sexuality, her “coming out” and how her parents finally came to terms with it like one would a corn on one’s foot. (It’s there. You can’t really fix it. You’ll learn to live with it and, most of all, you will tread gently.) Then, I will point my aunt to the Reuters India article. 

If the Reuters photos and video of two men kissing don’t convince her that approximately 20% of Indians are homosexual, what will, I wonder?