so, today was my son's 7th birthday party.  he won't be seven until next tuesday, which means he will get another day of celebration.  what sort of mother would i be were i to send him to school on his birthday without bringing some sort of treat?  a rotten mother, that's… Read full post »

my son is a jerk.  no, he's really not.  he's a great kid.  always brings home straight A's. in the advanced readers program.  and is 'all about math.'  he's a well-mannered boy, and i have no idea where he gets it.  his sister, of course, is a holy terror.  she act… Read full post »

it's always something.  i've always got some big idea brewing in my alcohol-laden mind.  my current one is to get the kids to the dentist, and return to school.  maybe i'm longing for the care-free lifestyle i had in college, about 30 years ago.  maybe it's because i can't excuse… Read full post »

i'm off food currently.  of course, i eat a jelly donut every once in a while.  or a bowl of cap't crunch.  or end up food drunk off two slices of papa john's new pepperoni something or other.  that happened last night.  i'm sure i took some dirty pictures, made an… Read full post »

i'm always doing it, bad things.  bad bad things.  it's like i can't avoid it.  now, i don't go around beating old women, leaving them for dead.  i don't take little boys' candy, toys, and clothes, leaving them locked out of their houses until their parents find them.  i'm no… Read full post »

i'm 32 years old.  i've been seeing a gynecologist nearly half my life.  years i've gone without health insurance, but i managed to get to planned parenthood and get 'looked at.'  and most importantly, on some sort of birth control.  you see, i come from a long line of young mothe… Read full post »

of course, i'm not going to overdose.  don't bother calling 911.  not that i haven't thought about it.  and the only thought that gets stuck in my head is the fact my children will be left with my husband, a man who can't wake to an alarm, let alone screaming children. … Read full post »

it's not wednesday, at least i don't think it is.  today, it is thursday.  and nothing much has changed since last week.  well, i am babysitting a kindergartener, which will help support my habits:  smoking, coffee, and watching any trash on the television.  i remember when i… Read full post »

so, it's what, wednesday?  i'm in no particular hurry for the mail, since i know what's waiting:  bills, letters from collection agencies (which usually get thrown in the recycling bin unopened anyway, so if you work for a collection agency and you're sending me shit and reading this, take… Read full post »

so, i'm sitting sideways on my couch, using the world's oldest living macbook.  and i feel i should write something.  it's halloween.  my son will go as freddy krueger, even though he only knows the story, but never has seen the films.  i am a somewhat decent mother and wouldn't d… Read full post »

and i can stop doing laundry.  i'm not stressing it, it'll get fixed, things always get fixed.  i'm only 32, but in those long (oh, so long) years, i've learned, things work out.  they always do.  somehow.  my only worry now is what can i do to keep myself occupied now?… Read full post »

of course, it's not even 10 pm, my time, but for a stay at home mother, that's fairly late.  my husband is back at work.  my son is tucked in.  and now, i have nothing to do.

it's rough being lonely.  what do i do to combat this constant lonliness?  i… Read full post »

it seems i'm always waiting. today, it's for the mail.  and it's endless.  i've walked a quarter mile, to the mailbox, three times already today.  i've thought about driving there, but that's pretty damn lazy.  and though i am pretty damn lazy, i try very hard to appear not to be.… Read full post »

so, i have gnats.  at first, i thought you spelled it 'knats.'  my husband corrected me.  he's quick to correct me.  like when i make his coffee with too much cream, he's quick to inform me, he likes it to be a golden brown, not light beige.  anyway, i have gnats. … Read full post »

as i take a break from laundry, dishes, looking up a recipe for Rice Krispie Treats, which i spelled incorrectly and google just had to point it out to me, and watching a marathon on Bravo, i started thinking.  i used to do stuff.  i used to be cool.

now,… Read full post »

no, i'm not lying.  all this time, i've been bitching, hysterically, like a lunatic, 'the cancer is coming, the cancer is coming.'  and what do you know?  it reared it's ugly face, right here in my very house.  and everyone thought i was crazy.  and everyone thought i was a h… Read full post »

so, since i've started my new job, which i just completely adore, i've developed a bad habit.  i like to call it, 'my addiction to junk food from the vending machine that's costing me roughly 3 hour's worth of pay.'  now,  i've been complaining (hence the tag complaining, because that'… Read full post »

as i glaze lovingly down on my gorgeous fingernails, i wonder, 'why the fuck did i ever chew those nasty things anyway?'  sure, it was a long-time habit, picked up from not only my mother's mother, who was about the most hateful bitch i'd ever met i my life, but probably… Read full post »

so, i've been working my nonexistant ass off at this job.  i'm losing my mind, sanity, health, and use of my right hand, due to handling callipers with a broken finger that has not been looked at since last year.  you see, i was working as a temp (you can read… Read full post »

well, i always thought i'd marry rich.  no, i didn't just hope and dream.  i thought it.  i assumed it.  my family assumed it.  as if it'd been written in the stars that i, kk, was to marry an old geezer with one foot in the grave and the other on… Read full post »

well, i've been ill.  if you've been following the useless drivel i spew on here, i like to call my life, i've had pneumonia.  i think i spelled that correctly.  i can't spell.  i can't type.  and since returning to this region of the state, my speech has become slurred… Read full post »

so, last night was my very favorite holiday.  halloween.  and of course, with my recent illness, we waited until about 6:30 to get a spider costume that my son just HAD to have.  now, finding a spider costume at your local walmart is no small feat.  one must be creative, especiall… Read full post »

i've been gone for a minute.  i'd loveto lie and say i was vacationing in fiji.  or burmuda.  or even freakin wyoming sounds exotic compared to indiana.  but noooo, instead i threw a hissy fit at work, punch a wire wrack, ran out shouting, 'i'm out' found a new, even worse… Read full post »

i was finally able to paint my fingernails.  with a clear coat of polish.  by painting i mean the bloody stubs i call nails quit bleeding long enough to be painted.  typically, my mo of finger-chewing consists of biting, gnawing, examining, pulling and swallowing (oh yes, with that muc… Read full post »

the cancer is coming for me.  i've felt it for years.  i've been running from it, yet doing everything possible to let it get me.  i smoke.  i drink.  my diet is eerily similar to that of a common, stinking house fly.  i live on coffee, sugar and camel cigarettes.&n… Read full post »