During the Seeds of Compassion Gathering®, in April 2008, many educators, businesspeople, parents, and community members descended on downtown Seattle to hear His Holiness the Dalai Lama address the idea of compassion and its powerful impact, especially on our children.  It is my habit to come away with something tangible to share with others.  I do this with movies, books, and plays for that matter; it’s just the way I think. 

The sweetness of what I gained from this conference was small in effort yet big in spirit.  The panelists at the ticketed events were very accomplished speakers, their credentials could run as long as the sheet of paper the program was written on.  However, the first thing listed at the top of their cascade of accomplishments was:  mother, father, grandfather, grandmother or something equally touching, which illustrated the human bond we all shared.  This created an atmosphere of peers, rather than talking heads.  Indeed, the discussions which ensued were soulful and audience participation was akin to marshmallows floating on top of cocoa during the first snow of the season.  It was comfortable, familiar, but new enough that we all had to find our footing once again. 

When I started creating my space to play here at Open Salon, I took note to list things about me, not just my “credentials.”  To echo the good man Jerry Seinfeld, “not that there is anything wrong with that.”  I have just found change comes from the little things I do in consistent ways and this is one of the ways I have chosen to realign myself in life.  I start with my humanity first.  In the end, I didn't list any resume stats, I wanted to do something else here.  It is interesting how many comments I have had about my “bio”, whereas if I had just listed my resume, you may not get a feel for who I am as a person – more, what I’ve done.

I also shied away from using quotes when introducing myself, as I wanted to speak about me, not other people.  I knew there would be an opportunity to use quotes throughout my experience here, so I decided to hold off until the right time came to place them like a present in a piece.  My bio is one arena I can immediately affect change, by stepping out into the world, human foot first.

So, how can I implement this in my political discussions?  In a political atmosphere where the center line of Red vs. Blue shifts depending on the policy being discussed, the time of day, and the mood of the people discussing it, I find this topic particularly relevant.  Do we even know what we are aligning with half the time?  I have trouble saying what “label” I fall under, except to say I lean left socially and slightly right/maybe more Libertarian fiscally. I know my voting record, yet I would never blindly defend one human being's actions as I know the system they are immersed in is flawed, so by extension, they will make decisions I don't always agree with.  When I read political posts, here and else where, and their ensuing comment threads, I see why Congress gets bogged down.  It feels like we are fighting over labels much more than we are working on how we can agree?  If we can't have a conversation here, where there are no pundits, media outlets, politicians, and pocket books on the line, what hope is there for those very arenas?  

Yet, when I first tried to think of a solution to use, I thought, I’ll start with “American.”  Argh!  Far-right wing-nuts have a blunt instrument as a measuring stick when you start referring to yourself as the very thing we all should be proudly entitled to exclaim.  So, I usually lead with “citizen.”  It is disarming.  I can have a conversation with conservative pragmatists or far-left-leaners who help me refine my views, occasionally improve a principle, and at our collective best, we both evolve into better human beings as a result of taking the time to get to know one another.

I spend a lot of time studying Integral Theory (I know, geeky, don’t tell).  I’ve been a part of group which meets once a month, with special functions occasionally, for about two years.  While Ken Wilbur is seen as the architect of this theory, our group focuses on many spiritual, philosophical, and scientific sages to draw from.  We discuss their relevance in relation to important current events, inner/outer communication styles, and our personal and united evolutions (all in a matter of 2 hours!)  What I have learned in terms of communication is to question myself first, not be afraid to confront if I find it is important enough to me (which isn’t always important to others), and always try to find the value in any given dialogue no matter how I feel about it.  Sometimes, I can’t always see the value right away – the gift is that I always try to look.

Meeting the Dalai Lama planted the seed to look for the common thread in our humanity first, start with a conversation and then dig in for battle if necessary, and only if necessary.  I have had the privilege to argue with some fine people in this world and I often feel the wiser for it.  The next step which comes after all the primping, preparing, staging, crossing swords, stepping back, meeting again, and finally retreating is the understanding I take away.  From there, I can harness the knowledge gained to go out into the world armed with wisdom and take a course of action in ways I have found simply miraculous. 

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I leave you with my favorite quote of all time…

“I am the angriest man in India.”

-Mahatma Gandhi

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