Kate Mohler

Kate Mohler
Chandler, Arizona, USA
May 03
English Instructor
Mesa Community College
I'm from Minnesota, but have lived in Wisconsin, UP Michigan, Pennsylvania, Washington State, and Alaska. Now Arizona is home. I have a B.A. in English from Bemidji State University in Minnesota (um...go Beavers!) and an M.F.A. in creative writing (Arizona State, '94). I teach English at Mesa Community College in Arizona. Besides teaching, I write, read, bond with my cats Sara and Lucy and Leo, listen to music, tackle home projects, and travel when I can. Love a good roadtrip, but always looking for a reason to fly away. I am about to purchase my first camping equipment.


Kate Mohler's Links
AUGUST 4, 2013 6:31PM

Everything Costs a Thousand Dollars

I sit and listen to my new boyfriend the Nazi tell me things over and over again: “Your boobs could be higher and rounder.  You could use some meat on your ass.  Not sure why you’re not dying your hair.  Only wear that shirt if you want to attract old/Read full post »
JUNE 30, 2013 1:52PM

The Windshield Factor

It took me a long time to learn the parts of a car; I still really don’t care about them.  I didn’t own a car until I was 24, and now—21 years later—I feel just as disconnected from my current car as I did from my first.
MAY 27, 2013 1:49PM

Tool of Choice

It’s shortly after sunrise and I’m in my front yard, under the pine tree, raking together a medium-sized mound of pigeon droppings.  My pajama bottoms are rolled up and I’m wearing a pair of wedge sandals that I found by the front door.  Already this morning I’ve ma/Read full post »
MAY 21, 2013 11:58AM

The Ecology of Lace

Class Assignment: Choose one particular place where you can regularly spend some time in the service of science.  Observe the place in detail, taking notes on all interactions, being as objective as possible.  Limit the timeframe, but write freely.  Please use…

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MAY 12, 2013 2:44PM

Nipples of Knowledge

There are only two bills left that I have to pay by mail: my second mortgage, and then more money to my second mortgage.  This bank likes to drain me the slow way; they won’t lower my interest rate, but they’ll take principal payments…but only if I mail them.  You/Read full post »
MAY 6, 2013 6:28PM

In the Stinkhole

Exactly 29 hours after the current health crisis began in my parents’ house, I finally found out.  Through flukes of timing and activity—yes, there were messages on the phone, but I thought they were birthday messages, I would get to them later, plus I had a guest: he was real,/… Read full post »
MAY 4, 2013 3:34PM

Three Times Fifteen

I remember picking up who I thought was my best girlfriend in the whole world at the airport one time.  This was in 1997, when times were still good.  We were not 100 feet away from the gate, going merrily along, very happy to see one other and chatting up/Read full post »
APRIL 27, 2013 11:37AM

David Sedaris Made Me Do It

David Sedaris was such an asshole last night, like with that story about telling his dad he had cancer when he really didn’t just to get a rise out of his sister, and fishing for backlash reaction from the most liberal audience that could have gathered anywhere in the entire… Read full post »
APRIL 16, 2013 5:54PM

The Injured Bystander

I can’t take amputated limbs anymore.  I can’t take another mass killing of kids or grandparents or another wedding party blown up somewhere.  I don’t care if it’s in America or a better place or a worse place.  These things can’t keep happening, but they… Read full post »

MARCH 17, 2013 1:33PM

Only By Blood

Everybody remembers where they were on 9/11/01.  But do you remember where you were just six months later, when I was getting married?  What were you doing eleven years ago, about this time of the year, in 2002?  The imprecision of how dates
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MARCH 6, 2013 9:12PM

Little Cabin in the World

Words.  They’re everywhere.  I see dead worms.  Worms, words, worms, words.  Redrum.  Nobody ever tells you when you’re about to learn how to read that the entire world will now be entering your brain.  Feel free to move about its cabin.

I remember theRead full post »
DECEMBER 2, 2012 1:55PM

The Zombie Who Would Be My Husband

My sister calls from Minnesota and asks how I’m enjoying not having to be perfect all the time.

“I like it,” I say, the phone tucked under my chin.  I’m talking to her while I dust my rock collection.

“Like how?” she says.  I can tell she doesn’t/… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 23, 2012 4:52PM

The Constant Professor


For those of us who leave home and stay gone—who graduate from high school and get a job, who get pregnant at 16 and go to college early, who maybe develop a drug habit that keeps us on the run for awhile…for those of us who maybe go
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NOVEMBER 19, 2012 10:12AM

The Godfather

Yet another bad-boy has found his way into my bed: my kitten, Leo.  I had vowed never to allow another cat to sleep with me after my first cat, Joey, went crazy at the age of nine and started peeing on everything in my house, including my own legs.  I tried… Read full post »
NOVEMBER 14, 2012 1:36PM

The Irony of Raisins

I am at school in my office and have packed a good lunch for myself: my off-brand Ensure that I use as a main course if I’m running out of the house late (that I write down as “elder juice” on my grocery list), an apple, a cheese stick, and… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 10, 2012 12:30PM

Sewer Lady


It’s after bedtime but I sit bent at my desk, reading a book and typing up some notes.  I’m 44 years old but might as well be 18 and in college, immersed in writing an English paper.  Even though I’m tired after a day of work and an evening of… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 4, 2012 1:33PM

Dancing With Leo

It’s 6:30 in the morning and I’m looking for my pigeons.  I peer through the custom-made blinds that hang in front of my newest window. I’m proud of this window because it wasn’t here when I moved in seven years ago; it is my imprint on this house, a major… Read full post »

OCTOBER 29, 2012 10:54AM


I’m driving to campus on a Saturday for work, mentally scoffing at the people who think online instructors have it easy.  Idiots, I think.  They don’t even know.  But I’m in a happy frame of mind because I love what I do for a living, so this is more like fun/Read full post »

OCTOBER 26, 2012 12:03PM

The Fairy Spatula Method

Five months ago I found a small bump the size of a pea behind my ear, under my skin, a few inches back in my hair.  I discovered it much like I did the hominy-sized wood tick engorged with blood behind my ear in fourth grade: by fiddling around with myself. … Read full post »
OCTOBER 20, 2012 10:42AM

Bi No More

I am sitting in my optometrist’s chair, waiting for my mini-exam.  It’s a mini because I had my annual just a few weeks ago, the result of which was a pair of $500 bifocals that I don’t need.  I have worn the bifocals…

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OCTOBER 11, 2012 8:05PM

Flats for Shorty

In 2006, I fell in love with a short man.  He was no taller than I was, and if he ever appeared so it was due to his wavy black hair, which would sometimes get poofy like a porn star’s.  If you put us butt-to-butt and smashed down his hair, you… Read full post »

OCTOBER 7, 2012 3:31PM



I was glad to see the butt chugging trend disappear from media headlines over the past few days.  The word “butt chugging” itself is so self-descriptive and evocative really
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OCTOBER 4, 2012 9:59AM

On Butts and Bras

For the last twenty-four hours, two current trends have occupied my mind: wearing a bra seven or eight times before washing it, and butt chugging.

Trend #1: Wearing a bra seven or eight times before washing it

I learned of this trend… Read full post »
SEPTEMBER 28, 2012 8:58PM

How to Remain Sober

I have brunch out with Vivian, a girl I’ve known since high school, a best friend for thirty years.  She is bright and bubbly, a social butterfly; I am reserved and quiet, a social pupa.

I’ve stopped drinking again and it is my job today
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SEPTEMBER 24, 2012 2:34PM

Blind Spot

For over a week, I waited for my new glasses to arrive, the ones with rose frames and…bifocals.  I spent that time wondering how a young person like me could end up with bifocals so early.  At 44, I was getting regular mammograms and had endured a colonoscopy.  I worked on… Read full post »