Every year I get more of these in my mailbox at Christmastime, the dreaded holiday letter telling me that Susie is off to Princeton and Marvin just got promoted to CEO, that the 1st-grader is smart-as-a-whip and the 5th-grader sold the most Girl Scout cookies of anyone on the planet.
Finally, I decided to take the situation in hand, and several years ago wrote a letter of my own, all in fun, channeling the silliness and sensibility of the famous New Yorker Christmas poem. Although much longer, it was similar to the one below.
Happy holidays everyone, from me, Petunia, and Frankie.
Ho ho, Merry Christmas to friends old and new
from Petunia and Frankie in chilly Wa-hoo
Hi, hey there, and ho, to our family and friends
We thought we'd get word out before the year ends
It's rarely we venture outside in the snow
But there were a few tidbits we thought you should know
We did finally make it to Europe this year
And tickled our tummies with schnitzels and beer
So now when it's Hamburgers' praises we sing
We mean by that quite a more different thing
As we stayed in their port city nearly a week
Near the end of September, and found it très chic
Then onward to Brussels we ventured to go
With a plate of pommes frites and moules d'escargot
The year was quite busy, with operas and such
But we figure you don't want to hear all that much
Frankie still serves on the Alzheimers board
While Tunia saves animals, abandoned or ignored
The kidlets are gone raising Cain with their own
And we're happy campers sitting here all alone
We'll toast to your Christmas with cream and dry sherries
Please think of us when you sing carols at St. Mary's
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Cleverley
J. P. Major
ohsillyme
Lauren B. Davis
Rochelle Skaar
plantlover
Salon.com
Comments
(love this)
I miss him.
My family/friend/peer circle hasn't ever really done the Dreaded Holiday Letter (TM), or even Christmas cards, for which I am thankful. Kinder on the environment AND the mood.
Viva the Christmas Letter! And Viva this post! ~R~
i have toyed for years with the idea of writing an honest christmas letter. i think i could make it quite damn hysterical, even still.
maybe i better get on that...
R~