Kathy Riordan

Kathy Riordan
Florida, United States
April 27
One woman's view of life and the universe. Follow @katriord on Twitter.


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MAY 24, 2010 7:35AM

The Real Housewives We'd Like to See

Rate: 24 Flag

With the Real Housewives franchise in full tilt and way beyond its pure Orange County original, we can now enjoy the sartorial splendor and delightful dysfunction of Real Housewives in Atlanta, New Jersey, and, not to be missed, New York, where Bethenny Frankel has finally spun off her own show after appearing to be the only semi-sane cast member left in New York.  (Thursday night's episode where Kelly Bensimon had her self-described "breakthrough" was the highest rated ever.)

Bravo has already announced cast for an upcoming The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, including two of Paris Hilton's aunts and Kelsey Grammer's wife, and casting for The Real Housewives of DC is said to include the White House gate-crashing Salahis.

Since Bravo has decided to remake itself from the gay-friendly channel to the Real Housewives channel--all Real Housewives, all the time--here are a few versions we'd like to see:



Someone has to check out those newfangled topless pools on the Strip between soccer matches. 

The Real Housewives of Las Vegas

A Vegas show was apparently rumored in the past, but not currently in the works.  My friend Lexy, a successful LV businesswoman, should absolutely be in this one, along with her considerable cast of friends who know the ins and outs of Sin City, from conventions to craps tables to celebrities to cuisine.  Politicians and celebs make occasional guest appearances.   (Note to Bravo:  Even if Lexy isn't in it, you should have her help you cast it.  And no, Steve Wynn, you can't be a housewife.)



SkiUtah chicks on Hidden Peak 

Doing their bit to raise awareness for the Utah ski industry when not making Jell-O casseroles. 

The Real Housewives of Utah County

Off-roading, temple trips, bridal showers, Cougar football, skiing at Sundance and partying in Park City.  (Note to Bravo:  Shawn King, who is apparently still a housewife, not only has a home in Beverly Hills but two in Utah, including Utah County.  She'd be a natural for helping cast this, and could overlap with the Las Vegas series as well as the Beverly Hills one.  Gladys Knight can make the occasional guest appearance.)




Who knows what lurks behind these doors--besides Birds in Art? 

The Real Housewives of Central Wisconsin 

Long weekends in Vegas, days on the ski hill or at the country club, fundraisers with Russ Feingold, the annual Birds in Art weekend, curling, charity parties and those girlfriend excursions to Appleton or Chicago to shop.  Dave Obey is rumored to be available soon and could make cameos.  (Note to Bravo:  I think I know some of your cast members already.  See me.)


C'mon, Bravo.  You know half the country is watching.  The other half might as well be Real Housewives.






(photos, top to bottom:   Topless sunbathing in Las Vegas: reason.com;  Ski Utah Women's Cycling Team atop Hidden Peak: Ski Utah Cycling; Leigh Yawkey Woodson Art Museum: LYWAM; Original cast of The Real Housewives of NYC, Season One: Bravo) 

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Real Housewives of Amish Country PA: How to tell the difference between a bull and a cow (had to learn that one the hard way), the struggles of throwing a Tupperware party without ice cubes or airconditioning, Coordinating the stirring of your neighbors outdoor manure pot with your barbeque party, maneuvering to your car in heels through cow pies, the many varieties of the theme sweater, avoiding road kill, introducing camo into your wardrobe .....it goes on.
My name is Joan and I am a Real Housewives addict. _r
I'd watch real housewives of Wisconsin. It's crazy there!
I definitely have no dog in this hunt.
How about The Real Housewives of OS?
I am holding out for The Gay Housewives of West Hollywood, which would necessarily involve a cast far more simpatico than any they have managed to find to date. In lieu of that, I am available to be part of The Real Housewives of East Lansing, a show sure to be rich in shoveling, complaining about college students and yearning for a Trader Joe's to come to town.....

Kathy, your suggestions were great...I cannot believe I have been sucked into these shows myself. Kelly Bensimon's freak out in the Virgin Islands was rivetting! And Jill showed up! OMG!

*calming myself down...geez.*
I still want to see the fictional MILF Island from 30 Rock, "25 Super-Hot Moms, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules."
Id like to see the amish country one too..:) But, truthfully I know a few from days gone by who act just like The Housewives of NJ.Those programs might have a lot of fluff but sad to say there is some truth in them. :(
rated with hugs and some Italian swear words for those housewives..:)
(I only know two) :)
Please, no more Real Housewives franchises! I'm in enough trouble as it is - fixated on the New York ladies, who must have signed a contract stipulating that they are not allowed to ditch each other as 'friends', no matter how many hair-pulling fights they have.
What's a Jell-O casserole? Does it jiggle?
I've offered to be 5 HWs at once in REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ENID, OKLAHOMA but they foUnd out I don't live there.
What fun!
Clever, but some of us are overloaded with these nutty women already.

I've got lots of candidates for RHO Miami. A cross between NY and OC. As for RHO Las Vegas, since I went to school with Elaine Wynn, so maybe I could convince her to be the grande dame of the franchise.
The Real Housewives of Greensburg, Indiana. You could have a Japanese auto factory executive's wife, an Amish woman, an illegal Mexican immigrant, and a Klanswoman.

The entire thing could be filmed inside Aldi's.

I was going to go with Cranky Cuss' idea of the RH of OS, but then realized it would just show us writing and then obsessively checking comments, ratings--both ours and others...not so dramatic!
I missed Kelly's breakdown? Shoot. You miss one show, and the least interesting housewife (except for Ramona) falls apart.

But seriously, folks: Wisconsin? Those cheesehead can't hold a tater-tot hotdish to the housewives of Minnesota. The pilot can show us the ruthless battles over preparing the best crop-art pictures and chokecherry jam to enter in the State Fair.
But Stellaa: "Lost" was fiction; these housewives are *shudder* REAL
you may have something here. I won't be surprised if I see any of these in the fall line up.
@Ladyslipper, I implore you to watch the rerun of the episode where Kelly loses it. You can't make stuff like that up.
Very funny, Kathy.
kathy: believe it or not; I know the Salahis. They are every bit of jerks that you might imagine. Great Post! I love how your mind works!
You know we are in trouble when you can't tell the spoofs from the real thing.
curling and cheese--umm. Central Wisconsin, here I come!
Love me some Real Housewives!

Ironic that few (if any) of these "housewives" are housewives in any traditional sense of the word, some of them aren't even wives. None of them stay at home cooking and cleaning all day, volunteering at the PTA or carpooling the kids to soccer games. I don't think I have ever seen them bake a cookie. Some appear to have jobs, though only a few(Vicky and Jeanna of OC come to mind) appear to earn anything close to the money needed to finance their over the top lifestyles. Most have maids and nannies to do the dirty work and very wealthy husbands (or fathers) to pay for it. The pretend rich ones still manage to collect checks from Bravo that most of us can only fantasize about ever depositing.

So there is nothing "real" about the Real Housewives series. The question is, does America really want to watch real housewives? If we did, the money they would earn would change them pretty quick from "real" to "real? not so much" pretty damn quick. Look at hateful Kate and her 8 spoiled spawnettes.

Lost lost me a long time ago, episode 3 I think, but the Real Housewives? I luff them.
Don't forget about the Fish Boils for the Real Housewives of Central WI. Don't want to miss that. R.
Now what I think I want to see is Real Housewives of Hawaii. The funnier the suggestions perhaps the more interesting.

Thanks for the giggles.
I would watch the Utah one. I love Utah. I can't stop staring at it.
Bravo should have a Real Single Women of New York City, and have five classy women (I don't think any of the women I've seen on these shows are classy). It would make up for Valentine's Day
How about the Real Housewives of Sacramento? They would hip America to 45 ways of ingesting medical marijuana, how to do wine tasting right, and what kind of cutoff shorts to wear down to the river on a hot day.