With the Real Housewives franchise in full tilt and way beyond its pure Orange County original, we can now enjoy the sartorial splendor and delightful dysfunction of Real Housewives in Atlanta, New Jersey, and, not to be missed, New York, where Bethenny Frankel has finally spun off her own show after appearing to be the only semi-sane cast member left in New York. (Thursday night's episode where Kelly Bensimon had her self-described "breakthrough" was the highest rated ever.)
Bravo has already announced cast for an upcoming The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, including two of Paris Hilton's aunts and Kelsey Grammer's wife, and casting for The Real Housewives of DC is said to include the White House gate-crashing Salahis.
Since Bravo has decided to remake itself from the gay-friendly channel to the Real Housewives channel--all Real Housewives, all the time--here are a few versions we'd like to see:
Someone has to check out those newfangled topless pools on the Strip between soccer matches.
The Real Housewives of Las Vegas
A Vegas show was apparently rumored in the past, but not currently in the works. My friend Lexy, a successful LV businesswoman, should absolutely be in this one, along with her considerable cast of friends who know the ins and outs of Sin City, from conventions to craps tables to celebrities to cuisine. Politicians and celebs make occasional guest appearances. (Note to Bravo: Even if Lexy isn't in it, you should have her help you cast it. And no, Steve Wynn, you can't be a housewife.)
Doing their bit to raise awareness for the Utah ski industry when not making Jell-O casseroles.
The Real Housewives of Utah County
Off-roading, temple trips, bridal showers, Cougar football, skiing at Sundance and partying in Park City. (Note to Bravo: Shawn King, who is apparently still a housewife, not only has a home in Beverly Hills but two in Utah, including Utah County. She'd be a natural for helping cast this, and could overlap with the Las Vegas series as well as the Beverly Hills one. Gladys Knight can make the occasional guest appearance.)
Who knows what lurks behind these doors--besides Birds in Art?
The Real Housewives of Central Wisconsin
Long weekends in Vegas, days on the ski hill or at the country club, fundraisers with Russ Feingold, the annual Birds in Art weekend, curling, charity parties and those girlfriend excursions to Appleton or Chicago to shop. Dave Obey is rumored to be available soon and could make cameos. (Note to Bravo: I think I know some of your cast members already. See me.)
C'mon, Bravo. You know half the country is watching. The other half might as well be Real Housewives.
(photos, top to bottom: Topless sunbathing in Las Vegas: reason.com; Ski Utah Women's Cycling Team atop Hidden Peak: Ski Utah Cycling; Leigh Yawkey Woodson Art Museum: LYWAM; Original cast of The Real Housewives of NYC, Season One: Bravo)