Get the pronunciation right.
It's Zion (ZEYE-un) (rhymes with Ryan and lion) not Zion (ZEYE-ahn) (rhymes with ion or fly on).
It's Deseret (Dez-uh-RETTE) (rhymes with barette) not Dez-URT (rhymes with hurt).
It's you (yuh) not you (yew).
It's to (tuh) not to (too).
It's creek (crick) not creek (creak).
It's feel (fill) not feel (rhymes with meal).
It's that (thut, rhymes with hut) not that (rhymes with hat).
All one syllable words get a two-syllable slide (ha-ard, ba-ack, ma-ail).
T's are in the back of the throat, almost non-existent (moun-un, not mountain).
Forget about L's in the middle of a word. It's walk (wok) and talk (tock).
Never spell it out when a contraction will do. It's it's (itz) not it is, and aren't (arnt) not are not.
Get the vocabulary and expressions right.
It's not "the Heavenly Father." It's just "Heavenly Father."
It's not "the elders." It's "the Brethren."
It's not "afterlife." It's "next life."
Get the dress right.
Sister wives from FLDS compounds can look a lot like Amish women, with homemade simple dresses going down to their wrists and ankles and up to their necks, or they can look a lot more like contemporary women. In either case, though, they generally won't be sleveless or showing cleavage.
Real: Sister wives from a fundamentalist sect in Bountiful, Canada, playing basketball.
Real: Sister wives from TLC's new reality television show, "Sister Wives."
Fake: Sister wives from HBO's Big Love. Note the short sleeves, sheer fabric and plunging neckline. And grumpy looks.
Get the accents right.
Utahns have an interesting and unique accent. It isn't a southern accent. It isn't a redneck accent. It's got it's own thing going. Find a dialogue coach to teach it.
Jon Heder might be available. It not, you might try Mitt Romney. It's something between there.
Get the props right.
If a Mormon mother is going to be inviting her daughter over to talk about going to the temple, it won't be over china teacups filled with tea.
This is Mormon tea.
This isn't. Although Ellen Burstyn is pretty darn good.
Get the prophet right.
Sure, even the fundamentalist groups have their prophet-as-leader, all hearkening back to Joseph Smith who started that ball rolling. But they tend to look more like computer nerds and businessmen than the cowhand you hired last summer or Tal Bachman doing country. Ditch the long hair, corduroy jacket look.
It's
(looking sufficiently late 70's computer geeky)
not
Not geeky enough. Too much like that guy in the bunkhouse or the back of a motorcycle.
Get the theology right.
Mormons (even fundamentalist ones) don't talk about the prophet being infallible. That term isn't even in Mormon vocabulary generally. It's Catholic. They might talk about 'Following the Prophet' or how great or inspired he is. But they won't talk about infallibility.
Get the names right.
Sure, there are a lot of historical names (Eliza, Emma, Brigham, Hyrum, Parley) and a lot of composite names (LaVerl, Nordell, LuDawn) and some modern names with geographic twists (Morgan, Jordan) or Biblical (Jeremiah, Benjamin), but what you won't find is typical WASPy names or names after Catholic saints (Mary Katherine, Ann Elizabeth, Francis Xavier). Don't just take any two names and put them together and think it works (BeckyLyn) or use names that sound like a pet (Queenie).
Get the history right.
Don't start confusing fundamentalist Mormonism with mainstream (Salt Lake City Mormonism), except where they overlap, and be sure to get the point of departure right (Mormonism officially stopped practicing polygamy in 1890, although some members continued on afterward and fundamentalist branches arose out of that, including primarily on the Utah/Arizona border, and in colonies in Mexico and Canada). Brigham Young didn't start the practice of polygamy, although he might have been more famous for it than his predecessor, Joseph Smith.
The founders of modern American polygamy, Joseph Smith (left) and Brigham Young. Although Young is better known for his plural wives, said to be 55 in total, Joseph Smith is reported to have had at least 34 women married to him.
Promo for TLC's upcoming reality TV series, "Sister Wives," which premieres September 26th. I'll be watching.
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Comments
how any man copes with two or more is a source of wonder. you have to suspect oppression, with whips and bondage, or at least a naughty corner.
Good times!! :D
Rated!!!
I love bad trash.. I will catch up with it, but thanks Kathy, I had a feeling it was bad.
Just got home and a little late reading..
Rated with hugs
Hmm - does anyone pronounce the el in walk and talk? (Or psalm or salmon?)
And the biggest horselaugh I ever heard in a movie theater was in a multiplex in Layton, Utah, during a showing of that 'save the whales' Star Trek movie wherein Kirk attempted to explain some of Spock's odd behavior in present-day San Francisco by saying, "He did to much LDS in the 60ies..."
I may be the only OSer with a copy of a parody cookbook called "No Man Knows My Pastries" by Sister Enid Christensen ... LDS humor - and, yes, there is such a thing.
And isn't it interesting that three cult religions came out of the same small area near Syracuse at approximately the same time? I've heard that epileptics of the day commonly claimed "heavenly visions" to cover up their fits.
Similarly, whenever you see a movie star playing a guitar, he'll be fretting a G chord, but all kindsa chords are what your ears are hearing. Or when some movie star painter character "paints", by going over and over and over and over the stroke that a real painter painted first. Sheesh. I might take look at that Kody though, if I owned a tv.
rated with lots of love.
It's always been a source of wonder to me how women accept polygamy.
And I read the "The 19th Wife." Thought it was quite good, but is it also off base fact-wise?
myriad and sweetfeet: Mormon tea is an herb that grows in the Western deserts, better known as Ephedra (yes, that ephedra.) Mormons did not (and do not, as I understand it) drink tea or coffee because of the caffeine, so instead they made "tea" out of this desert plant. Joke was on them: ephedra is a powerful stimulant. It's also known in Chinese medicine as ma huang.
"better to be a rich man's mistress than a poor man's wife."
I watche the first two seasons of Big Love and found it somewhat fascinating just how much of the culture they did have right. But as with most series two is about all I can handle before it becomes absurd and redundant
greenheron, that Kody is a looker, isn't he? And I think maybe I recognize that oldest wife from somewhere. Sgt. Mom, I'm laughing at the "Oh my heck!" because I almost included a video with that in here. Your cookbook is priceless. David, Fetlock, I think all the revivals in the area at the time had something to do with it, but I couldn't say for sure. It is interesting.
I appreciate everyone's thoughts, kind words and questions and sorry I wasn't around more today to respond.
All of my father's family is Mormon, except for me and my brother. Great, great, great Grandpa emigrated from England in 1853, to join The Brethren in Salt Lake City. My grandfather had one wife, but all the others had three to seven wives.
The Mormon Church excommunicated my father, and he took that as a badge of courage. He told them what he thought about their beliefs and practices - "It is all a bunch of hooey; and, it is a religious cult." Dear old Dad did not want to have anything to do with it. (I agree, by the way.)
One of the things that bothers me the most about the Mormons, is the apparent subservient roll of the wife. The husband is, for all intents and purposes, the lord of the manor. In these days of equality, that strikes me as a tad odd.
One thing for sure, one does not hear much about plural husbands.
In 2010, turnabout should be fair play. One wife and seven or more husbands - one for each night of the week.
Of course, the chances of that happening would be the same as me becoming the next Czar of Russia.
Another disturbing aspect of the Mormon Church is the leadership. Somehow, elderly men suddenly open a channel to God when they become the president of the church.
Anyone, the so-called preacher in Florida who wanted to burn Islamic religious texts, or any other church leader, who says gets messages from GOD, is more than likely mentally ill, and in need of comprehensive treatment, including good quality medications.
Lots of my friends found their lovers through the service. You may have a try... ;)
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I grew up in Boise, Idaho where the kids in high school were either Mormon or not (and there were no black or Jewish kids). In public school, the Mormon kids would take seminary classes in the building across the street from the school during the school day. The state legislature couldn't enact school reform because the Mormons didn't want to lose their seminary hour.
I learned that the Mormon religion believes that there are several levels to heaven. Only a man can attain the highest level in heaven and the only way a woman can get to this level is to accompany her man. When the religion was getting started, more women joined than men so polygamy was introduced so that women could get to the highest level of heaven.
Is this correct? Or were Joseph Smith/Brigham Young just men who were a little kinky?
I actually thought is was about fat people.
I am not kidding.
Now that I know it's about this wacko, sexist bullshit, I know I'm not missing anything.
It's crazies like them and this jeffs character who make people think that there is one too many m's in mormon.
In fact, I only came here to read this because Kathy consistently posts such good stuff.
For many years before the recent TV interest in the topic, I've joked with my wife that even as a teenager, I thought about the rationale of having multiple wives, a communal environment of multiple mothers for the children, the support group that sister wives provide a woman, having multiple wage earners supporting the household, allowing pregnant and post-birth women the luxury of sisters to support her financially and physically during tough times, more children in the household to re-enforce and help teach siblings good manners and proper behavior, etc, etc.
Of course, on the other hand, the topic seems sexy because of the (imaginary) male ego boost -- I say imaginary because only a man who has really thought out the details can understand the prospect of having four women in a house together...and they are all mad at him at the same time. With that said, any man who can keep the peace and his sanity in a house with four women...and sacrifice his own ego and needs to make them happy in the hope that four women can forgive him for his flaws the same way one woman may be willing to do, is a man who has indeed earned the right to have four loving caretakers to share his life and his time here on earth with. And in my humble opinion, that is what the art of polygamy really is all about.
When I found out that I had an assignment for Hill AFB in Utah in the early 90s, I was reminded of the joke about women from Utah who fled to Iran, seeking personal and political freedom - but then when I got there, I met all these outspoken, confident and independent women. When I remarked on it to a friend, the friend said, "All the subservient ones are locked up at home!" I eventually concluded that Utah is a good bit like Texas, in that women either adapt to the rigid expectations 100%, or they rebelled totally. There was no middle way - either you conformed completely, or you revolted completely.
This accounts for the high percentage of outspoken, independent and self-confident women in either place. Just my .02 - your mileage may vary.
Then: My Great great Grandfather had a large family in Utah. After meeting his eldest sons fiance he took her from the son, married her and went to a Mormon polygamy town of Cardston in Alberta Canada. They had several children. He rarely came back to visit the Utah family.
Now: My father had one wife. But if he is to get to the highest kingdom in Mormon heaven he MUST have more. This is commanded of God in one of their holiest books. Mormon women should be aware of this. They will have to share their husband "for time and all eternity" just like the T.V. show.
Is there official word from the LDS Church on the pologamy commandments of the D and C book which they believe is the word of God? Mormons I talk to are over sensitive and hurt if you try to get them to talk about this issue. "Pay your tithing, attend temple sessions and let the Lord worry about everything else!" Did a church leader once tell members to only read faith promoting information? Will this give anyone a balanced view, or is this what a cultist would say?
My TV will be set to TLC this Sunday night.
FYI: I have one wife and don't think we exist after death.
I also thought they believed man and dinosaurs walked the planet together.
Just one last thing. Been watching some clips of the new show Sister Wives and I can't wrap my head how those wives can share their husband with each other. I don't see how the husband can say he is committed to one wife and then is also seeking another wife to marry. It doesn't make much sense to me how the wives are okay with that. Especially the ones who didn't grow up in a polygamist family. How does that work?