Katy's Blog


Katy B.

Katy B.
Seattle, Washington, US
June 06
I am a working jazz vocalist, a writer and the mother of three boys. Basically, I sing, I write and, for better or worse, I parent. I love making noise about the Seattle jazz scene and also writing about other vocalists. I thought I was pretty good at the parenting gig until my son became a teenager. I'm presently getting my ass-kicked. Still, my kids rock, even when they nail me to the emotional wall and remind me, again and again, the meaning of humility. Beyond all this, I’m just a basic goober trying to make her way in the world. I am learning to fly solo after a 22-year marriage. It's pretty weird, but I'll figure it out. The Buddhist philosophy seems to work for me. I’m rabidly pro-choice. I love my president. I don’t eat meat. I love running but get injured a lot. I have the best sister on the planet. Pema Chodron said it best: “One can appreciate and celebrate each moment-there’s nothing more sacred. There’s nothing more vast or absolute. In fact, there’s nothing more.” Thank you for letting me make my paw print on Open Salon with you.


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JANUARY 27, 2012 3:11AM

A Bitch Slap for Rick Santorum

Rate: 1 Flag

 “There are certain things that government does that gives people privileges in order to promote activity that are healthy for society and are best for society. And those things we promote would give people advantages or benefits, government benefits because we think that is healthy activity. Mothers and fathers coming together, forming healthy marriages, having children and raising those children. Every American child has the right, and the government should support the right to have and know their mother and father and be raised by their mother and father.”

– Rick Santorum


 This was Rick Santorum’s response to a woman who, at a political rally this week, asked why her gay son shouldn’t have the same rights as Santorum, a straight person, has.

Needless to say, my blood is boiling. I almost don’t know where to start.

 Perhaps a good jumping off point would be to address the notion of “healthy activity,” especially relative to homosexual people vs. heterosexual people. In the day-to-day, my gay friends are no different than me, a straight woman. They pay their bills and sign permission slips for their kids. They get the oil changed on their cars and mow their lawns. The volunteer in their communities and coach their kids’ soccer teams. They do yoga. The grow gardens. They stay up late with fussy babies. They juggle busy lives and hectic schedules. They have dinner with their families at night. I might add, Mr. Santorum, that they also vote. All of these activities are perfectly normal and easily fall under the definition of “healthy.” In fact, given my examples, I am hard pressed to find any difference between the “gay lifestyle” and the “straight lifestyle.” The only difference is what gay people do in the privacy of their bedrooms, which is nobody’s business, certainly not the government’s & definitely not Rick Santorum's. And who are you, Mr. Santorum, to suggest that what gay people do in the privacy of their own bedrooms isn’t healthy? Who decides what "healthy" is anyway? To put the glove on the other hand if I may­, how do we know that what YOU do in your bedroom is “healthy,” Mr. Santorum? For all we know, you wear a diaper and get off on your wife tying you up and beating you with a Pepperidge Farm sausage.  Because you are a straight person, are we to assume that anything you do in your bedroom is healthy?  This seems to be what you’re suggesting. But what if I think you're a freak? Should I get on my bandwagon and advocate that you should have, say, your parental rights stripped away?  While it is truly distasteful to ponder your sex life for even a second, I get, unlike you, that it’s none of my business. It’s nobody’s business. Gay people have that same right to privacy. But still, Mr. Santorum, you make what they do in their bedrooms–the only thing that distinguishes them in the day- to-day from straight people­–a major rationalization for denying them their due civil rights.

 I also have a problem with the “we promote” that Mr. Santorum refers to in his statement. I am concerned about just who the “we” is. I am also concerned at the thought of a government that would impose a moralist definition of “healthy” and use that as a rationale for violating the human rights of certain segments of the population. The subtext is disturbing and sets an alarming precedent for horrific abuses. Ethnic cleansing comes to mind.

 The notion that allowing gays the right to marry somehow threatens the institution of marriage is preposterous, as is the idea that marriages between “one man and one woman” are superior and inherently more stable for children. This may come as a news flash to Mr. Santorum, but straight people have made a complete mess out of the institution of marriage. We’ve fumbled and bungled left and right. As painful as it is to share, my own failed marriage is a perfect example. My ex and I were married for twenty years. During the last several years, the environment in our home was often filled with conflict and stress. Our boys were frequently subjected to cold tension and an overbearing pall of sadness. Towards the very end, my ex and I were so distracted by the looming shipwreck that I know our kids didn’t always get the nurturing they would have in a normal, healthy situation. It is a grief that I will carry with me the rest of my life. Although we tried hard to save it, our marriage ended in divorce. We fucked this thing up entirely on our own. The functional, stable gay couples in our circle of friends had nothing to do with the demise of our marriage. In fact, my gay friends and their families were a great refuge and source of comfort during these difficult times. How dare you, Mr. Santorum, characterize a gay union as anything inferior.

 Of course, at its core, Santorum’s platform is built on fundamentalist Christian ideology. Although he is a Roman Catholic, his base is mainly lunatic evangelicals, who believe they have a God-given mandate to impose their religion on political policy. If his complete disregard for the establishment clause weren’t problematic enough, Mr. Santorum shows an alarming deficit when it comes to critical thinking. Rather than digging into the issues and creating an intelligent platform based on fact, Santorum chooses instead to simply employ religion–the grand fairy tale–as the basis for his positions. It’s a cop out. Critical thinking is tough. It involves the ability to navigate complex issues with intelligence; it involves the capacity to see things from a variety of perspectives; it demands the willingness to challenge your own assumptions. Critical thinking requires patience and intention. However, it is much easier to rely on a fantasy to explain away ambiguity or to eliminate the things that you are afraid of. But Mr. Santorum, just because the Bible tells you so, it doesn’t make it true. While fairy tales may be great for children’s story hour at the local library, they have no place in the executive branch of the United States government. By the way, Rick, the Earth really is round. I promise.

Apparently, it is OK for gays to pay taxes and to help fund the infrastructure of our country. It is also OK for gays to get their asses blown up while serving in the U.S. military, ostensibly protecting freedom as we know it.  However, if I understand Mr. Santorum correctly (and I think I do), these same people would be denied the basic civil rights that the rest of us enjoy. Clearly, Mr. Santorum and I have fundamentally different definitions of fairness and a radically different understanding of what this country is about.

Well here it is, Mr. Santorum:

 I am a U.S. citizen. I also have a say in what is “best for society.” I will not have you malign my gay brothers and sisters with your hatred, nor will I allow you to trample on their rights in the name of religion. I am also the mother of a gay son and will fight to the death for his safety, dignity and right to live as he sees fit. Mr. Santorum, be clear: As long as you continue your vile agenda, you will know my mom fangs and they are sharp. While you may have the delusional belief that you are fit to be President of the United States, the majority of the American people see you for what you are: a bigoted  religious zealot with an unhealthy fixation on what other people do in their bedrooms. You spread misinformation, lies and hatred. Of course, you have the right to believe what you want. (Or as my sister often says, in the United States, you have the right to be stupid.) You're free to be hateful. You have the right to be a bigot. But you do not have the right to legislate your hatred and bigotry. Your chances of getting to the Oval Office are slim to none. You’ve made the egregious error of underestimating the fundamental decency and humanity of the American people. We don’t want you.

And one final word, Mr. Santorum:

 “We the People” includes gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders. Get the fuck over it.



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Katy B. you're back! And with just the right message... ~r
Hi Joan! Thanks for reading & rating.

Yeah, I like to drop in now & then, usually w/a political something or other. I seem to get more traffic on my own blog & have been focused there. I do love O.S. though. If I had more time, I'd be here more often. Happy New Year!
Can you post the link to your own blog? I know there are people here who would still love to read...
Here is is:


It's also on the the sidebar on my OS profile. Thanks Joan!
Hear hear.

It's okay with Santorum if gays get their asses blown up defending the country as long as nobody knows they are gay. See how that works? The country can not know how many brave homosexuals have paid what Mr. Lincoln called that "last full measure of devotion", and the anti-gay troglodytes can comfort themselves with the illusion that only straight men, only real men, only godly men would ever show such courage and loyalty.

You really had me fighting back an urgent nausea when your discussion led me to imagine what Rick does in the privacy of his bedroom. I suspect he feels guilty after an orgasm. And he's probably right, it's too good for him.

I wouldn't be surprised if he practices celibacy, and that it was in fact nothing other than a suppressed gayness. By strictly regimenting his existence he is able to ensure that he never comes into contact with any homoerotic imagery or suggestion. This way he can pretend that his non-responsiveness to feminine guile is a holy abstinence, when in truth it's a clever way to hide the fact that only hot male flesh can really get him hard.
"Every American child has the right, and the government should support the right to have and know their mother and father and be raised by their mother and father.”

– Rick Santorum

Really Mr. Santorum? I am actually pretty pleased that the court had the foresight to take custody of me away from my selfish, abusive, self-serving, five-times married drug and sex addicted heterosexual Roman Catholic mother at the age of 3 months. The down side to this is that they awarded custody of me to my heterosexual alcoholic and phobic grandmother and controlling, abusive grandfather.

I'm so glad I got to know them because they were such good, upstanding, Christian citizens and make me appreciate my kind-hearted, unconditionally loving gay friends even more.