In 1993 President Clinton advocated to allow homosexuals to join the military. This prompted DADT: Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Because the Department of Defense felt open homosexuals "would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability," gay men and women had to be silent regarding their sexuality in the military. It was the trade-off for being allowed the equal right to serve one's country and it seemed like a step forward at the time.

 It's been 17 years since then. One would like to say we've changed a lot in that time and in many ways we have. It's debatable, however, whether or not those changes have been largely positive.

Yesterday the motion to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell failed.

The United States preaches itself as a nation that includes all, accepts all, and shines it's light on hope and progress. That being said it's really quite best for all this to work out if you're white, male, making a decent amount of money, and Christian.

The major argument against DADT is that gays would disrupt the military. I am flabbergasted by this. How many people in your family or that you work with are gay? Okay, how many people in your family or at your office are gay that you know about? If all those who are gay came forward, or merely put a picture of their same sex spouse or mate on their desk would it completely change their ability to do their job? Would it truly magically and suddenly change the dynamic of the office or home?

Really, is it them or is it you?

The Christian Post wrote ‘ “We believe that normalizing homosexual conduct in the armed forces will pose a significant threat to chaplains’ and Service members’ religious liberty,” a group of 66 retired chaplains said in a September letter.’

So much for land of the free.

I was no virgin flower when I was married, but my husband wasn't distracted about that at our wedding. Doesn't the bible say something about that, too?

I know I can pray and be a good, decent human being and not be distracted from doing so next to a homosexual. But maybe that’s because of my own beliefs, such as:

Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God. (Romans)

Or

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (Samuel)

Or

“All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out.”  (John)

Again, I am not overly religious, but I have read the bible and do believe in being a good person, doing unto others as you would have others to unto you, and so forth.

Repealing DADT would have at least shown that as a nation we're trying, that we're making an effort as a country to accept everyone, as we so often tout we do, to not be the hypocrites the rest of the free world is becoming so frustrated with. 

My only fear now for repealing DADT is one of hate crimes those homosexuals already serving in the military might now face.

The fact of the matter is that in many ways we as Americans still struggle to be an accepting people. Bullying, even in the rash of suicides due to it, is still prevalent and hardly deterred. And racism and hate for those who are different is every where and at all levels.

I was born and raised in this country by people who were also born and raised on its soil. I am very white American; English is not only my first language, it is shamefully my only language.

In 2002 I was pulled over in Connecticut for having an old style license plate on my car. I had just bought this particular POS from a local dealer 2 days before and those were the plates they set me up with until my new ones were mailed to me. This cop pulled me over, told me my plates were illegal as they were the old style (they weren't), called for back-up to search my car (they found only my book bag filled with - heaven's to Betsy - books!, I had now missed my class at the local University), and the back-up cop, realizing that the other cop was out of his mind, decided to leave. I remember the look of dread on his face as he got into his car, almost as if he wanted to help me. I called my father in tears, as the cop who originally pulled me over had informed me he was having my car towed and I was to be left on the side of the road at night in sleet, during winter, all alone.

My father said “Ask for his badge number!”

This cop refused to give it to me, got into his car, and drove away. He didn't even give me a ticket.

Just took my car and left.

My mother picked me up shortly there after and drove me straight to the police station and asked to speak to the sergeant. The sergeant, realizing one of his cops was seriously in the wrong, called the cop out to the front of the police station to explain himself.

There was the little cop, much younger, less intimidating in the florescent lights of the municipal building. 

"Look at her!" he yelled. "She's a minority with old style plates on her car! And it’s not even registered to her! It could have been stolen! Everyone is guilty until proven innocent!" 

(The car was, in fact, registered to my mother, who shared my same very rare maiden name. I’ve found 4 other Occhiuzzos in the United States that I’m not related to. Why this cop would think I wasn’t related to the person on the registration is beyond me. Don’t parents normally allow their teenage kids to drive their cars before they get vehicles of their own?)

It took about an eighth of a second before everyone else waiting in the police station had jumped to their feet, offered to call local news stations, or back us up in court if we wanted to sue. 

I was in shock. "I'm a second generation American, white Italian!" I stammered. The sergeant grabbed the cop's arm and said "My wife still has old plates on her car! Get in my office!"

I am white, American, middle class, and a very pale Italian. In fact, I'm confused for Irish just as much as thought of as Italian. If this has happened to me, it makes me come close to vomiting to think what happens to those who are gay, who are black or Hispanic or from anywhere else in this world, but residing in this country. And we can’t turn our backs on this any more.

So, now it’s time to take a stand. It’s time to show the rest of the world who we really are as American people. It’s time to fess up to our mistakes, to prove that we really are a melting pot of glory and goodness.

If we don’t we’ll continue to be hypocrites, we’ll continue to tell our children it will all be okay, when we’re not really sure if that’s true, and we’ll eventually, humiliatingly regress.

I want to be equal, I don’t want my loved ones to feel a need to be hidden, I don’t want a man with a bible to declare whether or not we’re decent based merely on who we love, and I want the United States to live up to its promises in that the splendor she deserves.

I do not take credit for the above image. http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2009/09/18/gay-people-can-quote-the-bible-too